I am a 26 year old female. I was with a man for 6 years and last July we got engaged dispite mine and his unhappiness. We ended things in April but only after trying several times to communicate how unhappy I was and how I needed some support from him. After we broke up, I was still unhappy. I met someone a short time later who gave me the world. He was caring, understanding, he communicated with me, he made me feel amazing. When he looked into my eyes I felt it in every inch of my body! He gave me chills just by saying my name. We fell in love.
I communicated the fact that I could not start a commited relationship with him because my heart wasnt ready for it but I also expressed that I was not in any way shape or form dating anybody else. But he wanted more from me. I wanted to do things different this time around. I wanted to spend every second with him but yet I knew that was a recipe for disaster. I did everything in my power to make the relationship succeed. He said he would never give up on me, he said he wanted me for good. So I figured we were fine. Next thing I know he is distant, hard to get a hold of, and very short when we did speak. I knew there was somebody else in the picture. I was CRUSHED!
In the meantime, I went on a few dates with the man I was engaged to. We started communicating finally, we are starting to get what we need from eachother and moving in a good direction, but I still don't have the feelings, the love, the passion, the excitement that i want. We have been taking it slow and we realize that if we do start a relationship, then the old one is the past and now we are looking forward. But I don't know if its a good idea or a bad idea to go down that road again... Oh and did I mention that his mother is crazy and tried to plan my whole wedding from the colors to the bridesmaids and he did nothing to stop her? Thats a whole other story...
My issue now is the other man has my heart. He wants to be with me only if I can commit and I cannot at this point, but I love every ounce of his being. I am lost, lonely, and afraid I will lose both of them and then I will have nothing. I would like a little advice, considering I cannot tell anybody about what is going on in my world. Im not asking you all who I should choose, just advice on how to deal with this. It is affecting my everyday life and I can't take it anymore...