Please help, just give me some input!!!

[simmo]

I just want to say I've enjoyed reading this entire thread. You're both wonderful people. You story inspires me.

[syrup]

Well my co-worker and I are going on the shopping trip for my decorations on Wednsday around 3pm. I told her I wanted to get dinner and pay, she acted cute and flustered in my opinion when I brought it up. I plan on attempting to tell her I have feelings for her at some point. I can't see how she wouldn't know I am romantically interested in her after the things I have said and the sentimental gifts I have givren her, if she wasn't interested why would she "go out" with me outside of work after all my clear signals? Any tips from anyone, signals that a bashful yet outgoing twenty seven year old female may give when on a "date" that would tell me that she has feelings, or may be willing to kiss? I have been with the same woman for eight years and before that I pretty much had to have girls throw themselves at me to know they were interested, so I'm just not that good at this stuff. I'm going to take this as slow as possible but if I feel she would kiss me I just don't think I could pass it up, In reality I am terrified and may even see a million clear signals and still not tell her how I feel. I bought a new set of clothes just for Wednesday, shirt, pants, belt, shoes, socks, etc., everything is new to start out fresh if this turns out the way I hope, I hope she dosen't notice. Please any tips will help, i've already got some help and I am just looking for a little more to ease my mind a bit. Thanks for all the help i have already recieved

[Gal4Love]

:-) Again, best of luck! I know, everyone says this, but, "Just be yourself." Every person is different when it comes to "signals". People can tell you many things but it may not be that way for her. Tell her your feelings and go from there. Hope to hear good things.

[syrup]

Sorry this is a rant

So..........(what good thread could start this way!) I text her a few hours before 3 and she advises that we will just meet at Target because she will be out doing errands anyways. I was not to cheerful after this, we had planned on me picking her up at home for awhile and now it was changed at that last minute. And she changed the time to 2:30, so we are starting earlier, not a good sign in my book. I had some prior concerns that we were only going to Target due to some comments she made (note: I live 45 minutes from where we were meeting), I figured I was just misunderstanding her and reading too much into it. Guess what, turns out she only planned on going to Target (I advised I live in a large apartment that needed to be completely decorated) Even though when she originally offered to go with me she named about six different places that we could go to look. And I had offered to take her out to dinner, when I brought it up she smiled and acted bashful, she didn't say yes we are going to dinner but from her reaction I took it as a yes. Now lets continue about today, she was about 20 minutes late but she did text me and advised that she would be. when we met in the parking lot she was not all smiles as usual (and no hug), and I was in turn upset about this. She was just kind of blah, we talked and joked a little but not even close to what I thought it was going to be, or even close to how we are most of the time at work. I didn't find anything in the store, she bought a few items she needed, but I was just not into shopping. We walked around and looked at things and she even went to the woman's clothes and looked briefly (she didn't ask she just walked to that section). I actually felt like we were a couple that was in a fight due to the tension and limited conversation and looking at woman's clothes without any say. We left and while in the lot I asked if we could go anywhere else and she said we could but that she needed to get home by 5:30 to see her dog!!!!!!! We went to a furniture store across the street (in separate cars because she needed to get gas???!!!) to see what they had for decorations (arrived at 4:15, and while walking in she said I should try going to Bed Bath, I asked if we could go after (there is a Bed Bath about five minutes away) and she said she wouldn't have time. We again looked around and I felt like a couple in some type of argument, we talked and joked a little while sitting on couches and looking. We left around 4:35 or so and she said sorry that we we unable to find anything, no hug or anything. I thanked her for coming with me and and told her to have a good day and got into my car. I was not stand offish in the stores but I wasn't full of life and chipper due to her blah attitude. What is this????????????????? I drove 45 minutes to her to spend and hour and a half in target and a discount furniture store?????? She obviously is upset about something else or wit me. Argh is all i can say, i was waiting for a month for this and it was a total bust, she knew what it meant to me to hang out with her and it didn't even feel like we were even hanging out as friends. I have no idea what is going on, today was just supposed to make me feel good not hurt.

[Gal4Love]

Syrup, I am sorry to read that your day didnt go as planned However, your dating failure was far more noticeable to you than to the person you were trying to impress. So relax about it. When you get home, switch your phone off, stick the on telly and get some sleep. By the morning it won’t seem half as bad. Someone who really likes you won’t be put off by a messy first date. When you talk again, don’t “apologise” or whine about how you were such bad company. You’ll simply draw attention to your failures and embarrass yourself all over again. Make up your mind to do things differently the next time, or if you weren't to blame, decide not to feel guilty when things don't work out. You deserve someone who will appreciate you for who you really are.

[syrup]

I just don't get why she was acting the way she was, changing things around, and just acting distant. No smiles when we met in the lot, no excitement, I just don't understand. I don't feel I need to impress her either, the new clothes are just to have a fresh start really. We have worked around each other so much and I have told her so many things that I just figured this was a chance to really be us and just act life the goofballs we are and not have work hinder that. I was really hoping this would be our chance to really talk, and get to know each other. I really wanted to just sit down for dinner and just look at her and have her look at me and just talk, I just really feel pushed away right now.

[bulrush]

Syrup,
I am also a sensitive man, unafraid of emotions. They can be good, but can also be a PITA. You, sir, need to put your big boy pants on and stop overreacting to these things the girl did while shopping at Target. Or I shall reach through the internet and slap you sane with a halibut. (Kindly of course.)

I do overreact myself sometimes, and assume something bad is going on, but usually I am able to catch it and act more normally. You should consciously be aware of how you overreact to things, then stop this "stinking thinking". In the case of your shopping trip, I think you misunderstood her actions. I don't see anything going wrong here. Stop worrying. Just stop it.

Sincerely,
Bulrush

[Gal4Love]

I think I agree with bulrush. I hope your day got better today. I hope other things are also improving for you. Remember the forum is always here.

[Gal4Love]

Hi Syrup, hope all is good. I sent you a messege, not sure if you received it. Hopefully you were able to reconcile with your wife. If not, I do hope everything is still good. Hope to hear from you soon.

[syrup]

I'm going to tell her tonight, I think she just wants me to say how I feel and make the effort so we can move to the next step. She already knows how I feel because of my actions so she probably just wants me to re-enforce them with me actually having the courage to say what I feel. Think and/or pray for me from 11pm-2am EST and hopefully I will have some good news to post.

[syrup]

Just added an avatar, hopefully it brings me luck since its something that helped make us closer

[James Banes]

syrup, you seem determined to learn the hard way it's not a good idea to date a co-worker.

[syrup]

We both do not plan on staying where we are, I have hated it for six years and she has hated it for six months. She is actively searching for a new job and has interviews lined up, she has also been telling me that I should move on and maybe change my career since I am good at some other things. She is very good at what she does and she will most likely be gone within the next six months. And why the negative stuff when I am so close to opening up to her, I have had so much go on in the last year I deserve to be happy. Even if we don't last I will know that I tried and not wonder what could have been for the rest of my life.

[syrup]

Aright, so I am a giant wuss, didn't do it. I'm going to give it another try tomorrow, we had a really good night and I kept trying to get the words out but my mouth was not cooperative. Same time tomorrow keep me in your thoughts and help will me some strength.

[James Banes]

She should hurry up and get that new job already. Working in the same place with your chick is a bad idea.