Originally Posted by
searock
Hey there, I could really use some help, I don't know how to get myself out of this situation.
A good friend of mine (R) suffers from bipolar disorder and depression. He attempted suicide more than once in the past 6 months (he almost made it, on one occasion he was in a coma for 3 days for overdosing on antidepressants). He's seeing a psychiatrist, but is not getting psychotherapy - basically he's getting the pills but not the long-term cure. We are both 22 years old, his parents know about his problems (he's had them for years) and are taking care of him as much as they can.
A couple of months ago he confessed that he was in love with me, and he still is. I don't feel the same way about him, never have, never gave him ANY possible hint that I reciprocated. I'm actually seeing someone else, B, a guy whom I am very much in love with, and who is also friends with R.
My problem is that R is getting more and more obsessed by me. His social life is completely inexistent lately - he always refuses invites to go out with our group of friends. Yet he asked me if we (only him and me) could meet up today, cause he needed to talk. We met, and things were immediately way wrong. He says he feels "destroyed" by ME, even though he knows it's not my fault but his own. I don't ignore him, I don't treat him wrong, I don't do anything in particular, I just act normally around him, as with any other friend, so how could I possibly "destroy" him?! He keeps asking me what I am doing in my life, what my projects are, he wants to know EVERYTHING, every little particular. And he'll keep comparing himself, obsessively, to every single little thing about me. It seriously bugs me, it makes me totally uncomfortable. It wasn't like this in the beginning, but now I honestly wish he could just leave me in peace. He needs professional help, therapy in addition to medication, and I've been trying to talk him into getting it since his first suicide attempt. His answer has always been "I don't want therapy cause I really don't want to feel better, I am destined to feel bad and to die as soon as I can". But apparently he now considers me to be a sort of therapist to him - which I totally DO NOT WANT. He creeps me out and makes me feel extremely uncomfortable, like he's "keeping files" on me and watches me like an obsessive maniac all the time. He makes me feel guilty for being happy!
I want him to stay away from me, because of 2 reasons:
1) I love him as a friend and I really want him to get better, but I know for a fact that I can't help him;
2) he makes me feel bad on many levels.
But I don't know how to make this happen. I can't just tell him to leave me alone because then it would really "destroy" him. Staying away from him - without telling him anything - doesn't seem to work though, I've kept my distance in the past month and a half (ever since he I realized how insanely obsessed he was by me) but he'll still come haunt me again (like today).
I just want to be left in peace. What can I do?