Give her time or take action?

[jemoerder]

Hey now,

Me and my girl are together for almost 2 years.. This is gonna be a long one but i hope someone takes the time because im in a nasty situation and i REALLY want to save my relation ship!!!!!

So last wednesday we were on the phone. Sshe asked me what u doing.? Cuz she wanted to see me, I told her I was grocery shoppping and had some work for uni to do.
Little did I know, she was already at my house for a suprise visit (read sex).

But in fact I was on my way to a friend. I told her tthis lie because I feel uncomfortable telling her I'm rather with a friend for one night than her. I already spent 5 nnnight in a row at her place.
So she calls again, knowing I'm lying and I own up. I say I'm at a friend I'm sorry for lying.
She told me that she needs a while to think about this. I went immediately at her house to apologize and talk ik over. She was calm and cool about it. Said that it was really low of me and she believed I was at a friend and wasn't cheating or anywhing. I lied and that hurrt her.
So we said let's both think about it and talk another time. We said goodbye, hugged, kissed and she told me she loved me.

Next day I send het an email, thanking her for the conversation, that I will respect her wish for space and thatt I love her. Also I said don't hesitate to contact me so this won't become any more worse than it needs to be.
Reply:
I won't contact people who do such low things. I don't wanna hear your lying voice.

I tried calling her twice after that. Next. day I sent a text saying let's not waste time .. Ignoring each other won't help the situation.. No reply.

Next day ( yesterday) I did not contact her at all. And she did not contact me.

Today I sent her a text wishing her well because she will have a dancing tournament later today.


What should I do now? I know she needs space but on the other hand I screwed up (for a stupid reason I might add). So should I look her up actively to show I'm sorry? Or give her space because she already knows I'm sorry, whty I lied andd tried to explain, and alreeady went to her house the night it happened.

Should I contact/meet hher? Or should I give her space? I don't wanna give her space and later find out she hated that I did not try harder to make things up.

Still her text saying I had a dirty lying voice was pretty harsh..

Also I will be leaving for 5 mmonths to study abroad and this has been a hot topic before we had this problem.. Trust and if we could work without seeing each other for so long. We kjust worked it out and then I go and to this stupid thing.


So what should I do? I want to give her space but maybe she will interpret it as not caring.. Or maybe she becomes agitated that I not give her the space.

I don't wanna lose her.......

[leilee]

Give her space. Give her space. You have to respect her wishes. If she interprets it as you're not caring, she doesn't know you very well. If you force yourself on her while she's trying to process what you've done, you'll only make it worse. Believe me, I know. Trust issues will break any relationship.

[jemoerder]

i have been posting like crazy.... i realised that instead being a internet though guy i went to her house, texting her that i was coming around.

when i arrived all my stuff was neatly packed in a plastic bag. we talked for about an hour. no crying, screaming, begging, just 2 adults talking it over, '

she made clear she cant live with a liar. she still loves me very much. and you know what?

im actually at peace with her decision, for the moment anyway. I have hurt her and she has learned me a valuable lesson. when she is mad she cant show any emotion. i wanted to scream, shake the * * * * out of her but i was totally numb and could only talk. i wasnt being desperate. for once i have been honest and it felt good.

of course i will miss her cuz she is my everything, and i will never forget her . the things she introduced me to, her view on life, her bad and happy moods. the good and bad times.

all this time i was looking for an excuse to make everything ok without REALLY realizing what i had done to her. it wasnt just this isolated incident not that i ever cheated on her or anything.

you know how it is in a relationship, you cant give the facts and expect to others to really understand. if you want to explain it to anyone they should have been at each moment the 2 of you were togheter, all the unspoken things, all the little joys and frustrations etc..

i cant say she is overreacting. i respect her decision and of course i hope she will change her mind but icouldnt blame her if she didnt. i made up a lie for ...? what exactly? nothing ! an easy way out . i have been doing this all my life at school and jobs. if a lie got me closer to my goal i would not think twice about it.

she has been my first REAL love and REAL relationship (at 24). i thank her for all the moments. so i wont be needing any more advice

[leilee]

I know how you're feeling. I've gone through something similar in the last 3 weeks. Hold your head up high, process your pain. Forgive yourself for lying. Not tell yourself it was okay to lie but, forgive yourself. You can't live in a constant state of beating yourself up. The fact is, trust is the foundation to any relationship, if its gone, its very hard. Take all your good times together and let them make you happy you had her and know that in the future be yourself, and be honest.

[jemoerder]

**** that she will be back. i might be not perfect but i know she loves me too much. right? right? i dunno hahaha time will tell. in any case i will let her go after tomorow. she is picking up her stuff at my house tomorow...

[jemoerder]

did i justhave a conversation with myself? LOL