Need male advice on this! - Why am I not enough???

[smackie9]

If it interferes with your life and or relationships and that fact that he hides it, is an addiction. Most people with certain "lifestyles" usually want to seek others that have the same. ie: S&M,extreme piercing of genitals and body,swinging, etc.

Ever watch KINK on Bravo? That's a great series.

[Wakeup]

Most people who are doing something they know their SO isn't going to approve of hide what they're doing. I don't believe this guy has the common sense to seek out swingers etc. He left his wife, his job and his hometown on a whim so IMO he just flies by the seat of his pants and unfortunately OP made some disappointing choices when she found herself becoming vulnerable to a married man who was in a piss poor relationship but didn't have the gumption to leave until he'd hooked onto her. *shrugs* she can ask him to go into a rehab programme but I'm thinking he's not going to go.

I've not seen "Kink" I'll check it out though now that you mention it. Is it still airing and if it is what time, what night? ;o)

[smackie9]

You might find old shows on the net.....try youtube

[smackie9]

I just gave her options to take it or leave it......it's all up to her now.

[mwahahaha]

sex addict, lol. If hes a sex addict , then all men are. we are sicko`s. just accept it or become lesbian. All men watch porn, in a relationship or not. What was he supposed to do , stuck in paris for 6 months? Go see the eifel tower everyday and eat fckn snails. You should just be grateful you got him out of france before he got really bored and got his arse pumped down the by the sienne by some rabid frog. Having said all that he does sound a bit of a prick. Paying for porn, lol. its so 1980.

[tremolo]

What was he supposed to do , stuck in paris for 6 months? Go see the eifel tower everyday and eat fckn snails. You should just be grateful you got him out of france before he got really bored and got his arse pumped down the by the sienne by some rabid frog.

lmfao. Wow. I really do hope you're kidding.

Snails, btw, are delicious.

[bulrush]

I'm not going to criticize you on dating a married man (at the time). You make your own choices for your own reasons.

Confronted him, told him how much it hurt me and how upset I was and of course he was upset that I was looking at his emails, but I had my problems with the trust

I've had girlfriends that didn't mind me watching porn, but I didn't do the live cam girls. I've also had girlfriends that liked to watch porn with me. It sounds like this was a deal breaker issue for you two though, and that's the important part. If you two, as a couple, cannot compromise on this, then why waste time with him?

does every man do that when in a relationship??

Most do, only a few admit it. But some have their limits. Some wouldn't do the cam girls, some would. Some wouldn't do escorts, some would. No physical touching or secret affairs for me. That's my personal boundary.

[christinw]

Thanks for all your responses! Suggested him to make use of professional help but he laughed it off. He said it's like an addiction when I first confronted him, now he says it isn't really, it's not a problem and he still says it's normal and he did nothing wrong. I'm sure it is nothing wrong with it if you are not in a serious relationship. And if maybe some people got that idea - i don't have a problem with porn. like I said, suggested to watch it together, but he doesn't want that, it's a seperate thing for him, nothing to do with me or our relationship. He said it's sex there and that with me is love (or sex with me is making love...) I'm trying to forget it and carry on, but I'm not doing a good job with it.. The thoughts that it would maybe be better to split up, because I don't want to feel like I'm not enough, come back every day.. But on the other hand side I don't want to lose him of course.. I'm stuck.

[bulrush]

Christinw, it's not your fault you and he didn't work out. You two were different enough which caused problems. So, find someone where you have more in common with them. You keep looking until you find a great match. Don't settle for a "good enough" match, look for a great match.

[smackie9]

Thanks for all your responses! Suggested him to make use of professional help but he laughed it off. He said it's like an addiction when I first confronted him, now he says it isn't really, it's not a problem and he still says it's normal and he did nothing wrong. I'm sure it is nothing wrong with it if you are not in a serious relationship. And if maybe some people got that idea - i don't have a problem with porn. like I said, suggested to watch it together, but he doesn't want that, it's a seperate thing for him, nothing to do with me or our relationship. He said it's sex there and that with me is love (or sex with me is making love...) I'm trying to forget it and carry on, but I'm not doing a good job with it.. The thoughts that it would maybe be better to split up, because I don't want to feel like I'm not enough, come back every day.. But on the other hand side I don't want to lose him of course.. I'm stuck.

Down playing and denial that he has a problem is typical of anyone that has an addiction. Like most guys I know, they admit there's a limit to how much porn they can stand and do prefer the real thing most definitely. So lifestyle, addiction, or just plain dirt bag, depending on what angle you are looking at it, you both are completely two different people with completely different views on relationships and sex. So it's not that you are enough for him, he is just not the guy you shouldn't be dating period. You are not stuck hun, you have to grab some self worth and realize that you can do better than him, and like everyone suggests you end the relationship, and find yourself a man who really appreciates you. The further away you keep yourself away from this situation, the easier it will be to move on.

[Wakeup]

Suggested him to make use of professional help but he laughed it off.

I'm not surprised. This is him. You have to decide if you can live with him as you now have learned first hand what he is about. I suspect in time he'll get bored with the camming and he'll either meet up with one of the cam tarts or, he'll meet up with someone unrelated but knowing he's willing to cheat makes it pretty obvious he has no qualms about that sort of thing and odds are he'll be doing to you, what he did with you eventually.

Can you live with that? (even if its just the camming?) If you can't then leave him now and don't waste anymore of your time with him.

[Lovehelper]

Your jealous and you have the rights as a partner. If he does not stop... my suggestion is to leave... plenty of fish out there... just don't wait too long