Am I paranoid??? about facebook

[Melinda01]

Small things happen, but they show pretty big things at the end of the day. Or is it just me overanalysing things??

When I got together with my boyfriend, we were just a couple of weeks together, it came up to my News Feed at Facebook that he commented at a girls photo where she had her bikini on and taken a picture of herself on the mirror becasue she is extremely fit and works out every day. He then commented as af he thought she was VERY hot...It showed up at his Wall that he commented. But he deleted the very next day, so that it wouldn't show up on his wall. I didn't say anything, though I said after some months. His reaction was that this was a meaningless comment. I let it be.

A month ago, something else happened that had to do with a girl, nothing really special, but he made it special and strange by not feeling comfortable talking about that girl just in case I would become mad and jealous. I told him later that when he is COOL and calmed, then I am also cool and calm. But when he is strange then it is natural that I also become strange...

So, I had deactivated my facebook account for 6 months. I decided to reactivate it yesterday night. I did it and as everyone else would do, I started checking out others profile, especially my boyfriend's. I saw that he had recently become friends with a girl and "liked" their new friendship on facebook. Fine. That's nothing. Today I told him that I'm back on facebook (since he had wanted me back all those months). After one hour, I checked his profile again (cause after so many months with absence from facebook, and on a Saturday, you have nothing to do, and it's easy to just stare there and check out things). He had just "unliked" his friendship with this girl.

Oooops?? That's what I thought. Why? Two reasons. Either he wants to hide something, or he has such a bad picture om my personality that he thinks that I'm a possesed, and paranoid person that would be mad at him if I saw that he "liked" it.

Since then we had a fight, and I tried a lot to tell him that I don't care about his female friends, but that I want him to be straight to me and be honest, and not hiding things, because he creates the drama himself when he acts as if I'm jealous. But the conclusion for him is that I'm paranoid, I'm spying on him, and that he's not on facebook anymore because it just doesn't work that we both are there because I'm paranoid.

I myself think that had he not deleted it I would be cool with it, because it would show that he would be fine with it as well.

I understand that most of the people laugh when they hear about "facebook problems" and they think that it is ridiculous. But, I think that everyone pretty much nowadays thinks of facebook very seriously and spends HOURS in front of it, forming the perfect profile of how the other people sees that person. It IS a second social life, only that this is not reality, one can form the facebook reality how they want. This is why I get so frustrated over something that is "facebook" related, cause I think that it still shows a lot about how a person think and what that person wants to show to their friends.

Please tell me your opinions on my reaction.Thanks!

[Melinda01]

No, I don't get what you mean. What I mean is that people that use facebook (most of them) see it very seriously and spend hours and hours improving on their profile photos, statuses etc. But, what you see in facebook doesn't necessarily equal the real life. So, if I collect garbage in my real life, it would be a bit difficult to hide it from all of my friends. But I can hide it on facebook. Get the picture?

[Melinda01]

Also.... I love the way people think that they're popular because they have 300+ friends on FB. When in REALITY, its just that they're very partial to the
"add as Friend" function. Fvcking LOL

Ok, thanks for your input. My question wasn't about facebook specifically. It was about my "paranoia", but I had to make sure that people take seriously my question instead of laughing at facebook problems as you do.

Next.

[rafterman]

So, if I collect garbage in my real life, it would be a bit difficult to hide it from all of my friends. But I can hide it on facebook. Get the picture?

^^^ This, so do you want to be a real person or a fake, like the rest of the retards on facebook? Anyone can look like a legend on FB. If you dont get the picture now, then you're probably beyond help.

[rafterman]

Small things happen, but they show pretty big things at the end of the day. Or is it just me overanalysing things??

When I got together with my boyfriend, we were just a couple of weeks together, it came up to my News Feed at Facebook that he commented at a girls photo where she had her bikini on and taken a picture of herself on the mirror becasue she is extremely fit and works out every day. He then commented as af he thought she was VERY hot...It showed up at his Wall that he commented. But he deleted the very next day, so that it wouldn't show up on his wall. I didn't say anything, though I said after some months. His reaction was that this was a meaningless comment. I let it be.

A month ago, something else happened that had to do with a girl, nothing really special, but he made it special and strange by not feeling comfortable talking about that girl just in case I would become mad and jealous. I told him later that when he is COOL and calmed, then I am also cool and calm. But when he is strange then it is natural that I also become strange...

So, I had deactivated my facebook account for 6 months. I decided to reactivate it yesterday night. I did it and as everyone else would do, I started checking out others profile, especially my boyfriend's. I saw that he had recently become friends with a girl and "liked" their new friendship on facebook. Fine. That's nothing. Today I told him that I'm back on facebook (since he had wanted me back all those months). After one hour, I checked his profile again (cause after so many months with absence from facebook, and on a Saturday, you have nothing to do, and it's easy to just stare there and check out things). He had just "unliked" his friendship with this girl.

Oooops?? That's what I thought. Why? Two reasons. Either he wants to hide something, or he has such a bad picture om my personality that he thinks that I'm a possesed, and paranoid person that would be mad at him if I saw that he "liked" it.

Since then we had a fight, and I tried a lot to tell him that I don't care about his female friends, but that I want him to be straight to me and be honest, and not hiding things, because he creates the drama himself when he acts as if I'm jealous. But the conclusion for him is that I'm paranoid, I'm spying on him, and that he's not on facebook anymore because it just doesn't work that we both are there because I'm paranoid.

I myself think that had he not deleted it I would be cool with it, because it would show that he would be fine with it as well.

I understand that most of the people laugh when they hear about "facebook problems" and they think that it is ridiculous. But, I think that everyone pretty much nowadays thinks of facebook very seriously and spends HOURS in front of it, forming the perfect profile of how the other people sees that person. It IS a second social life, only that this is not reality, one can form the facebook reality how they want. This is why I get so frustrated over something that is "facebook" related, cause I think that it still shows a lot about how a person think and what that person wants to show to their friends.

Please tell me your opinions on my reaction.Thanks!

Yes but your paranoid state is caused by FB......Dont you think Shwweeetheart?

[Melinda01]

^^^ This, so do you want to be a real person or a fake, like the rest of the retards on facebook? Anyone can look like a legend on FB. If you dont get the picture now, then you're probably beyond help.

Cool thanks Are 15 years old or what

[Melinda01]

Yes but your paranoid state is caused by FB......Dont you think Shwweeetheart?

Darling....!!

[rafterman]

but I had to make sure that people take seriously my question instead of laughing at facebook problems as you do.

Now now, better pick-up your teddy bear LOL.

[Melinda01]

Now now, better pick-up your teddy bear LOL.

Hahahaha, I will, kiss kiss

[sadie_genie]

Your reaction is perfectly normal. His actions are basically flirting with another girl even if it is on Facebook. Can't do anything to change him though. You can accept his flirtatious behaviour or dump him.

[Melinda01]

Well, goodnight, it's late here.

You're clever. Don't you ever forget that....!

[rafterman]

Well, goodnight, it's late here.

Yes night princess, dont forget to post that FB as your status because we all care......NOT

[rafterman]

Your reaction is perfectly normal. His actions are basically flirting with another girl even if it is on Facebook. Can't do anything to change him though. You can accept his flirtatious behaviour or dump him.

Awesome Idea.....Dump your B/F and keep FB in your life, so you can keep living that "Second social life"
What a genius!

[boo93]

i understand what you mean and to be honest im in exactly the same position with my bf as he hides things and changes passwords on a regular basis

[sadie_genie]

Awesome Idea.....Dump your B/F and keep FB in your life, so you can keep living that "Second social life"
What a genius!

Some people like to pretend FB is some fantasy world. Sure, there are people who like to craft a false image of themselves on it. But there are social implications of FB. Flirting on FB is same as flirting in real life. In fact, so many guys/girls use FB as a tool to initiate real life interactions. Guys do it all the time;they use FB to pick up chicks.