Boyfriend planning to have sex with cousin!

[belaart]

I'm having a huge issue and I'd really appreciate your prompt help/advices.

Sometimes I do hate myself for craving knowledge so much, because ignorance is absolutely a bliss!
But I'm aware of and can't ignore it, even though I found out through a deviated way: spy & privacy violation!

My boyfriend(of 30 years old) is planning a sexual meeting with his cousin(a childhood crush) who will be coming in March from Japan to be with him at his house.
They have been doing video/photo and sexting for quite sometime, according to FB messages that I've found out yesterday!
When she asked about my possible intrusion & jealousy, and he discarded it saying that I would be totally under control.

She's used to babysit him, and being 8 years older than him with already 3 kids of different fathers, I don't think she will have any moral problem in doing it.

She has nothing to lose, she will get lots of good sex and all of the attention she craves, noticeable by the slutty way she dresses and leads her life.

But my really stupid aquarian boyfriend is going to throw away 8 months of real hard work he had to get me to trust him and be in this relationship!


How can I solve this without breaking it off?
Our marriage is being planned by our families and just found out that I'm pregnant!

[questioningirl]

Oh okay. This sounds tough.
First, You found the messages on FB, I would find the courage and honestly tell him that I went over his FB and found these messages. I mean what else do u have to lose? Yes I know it's his privacy and we should not do it BUT COME ON, HE IS BETRAYING YOU and he is totally disrespecting you!!!!

If you don't want to tell him about these messages, (I hope you will) then answer this please: diid he tell you anything about this cousin coming visit? If so - why don't you tell him that this situation bothers you... I assume you know about this childhood crush, he had on her, through him, right?
You should tell him that the fact of having her over his house bothers you very much - if he loves you he' ll understand that he could lose you in a heartbeat.

Also, What do u mean by "our marriage has been planned by our families?" Aren't you two in love with each other?

Best Luck

[gigigi]

you need to break up with this guy. there is no salvaging the situation. i understand that you are pregnant and it is difficult to be on your own, but do you really want to be with a guy who would betray you and commit incest? seriously, he sounds disgusting and his family sounds like a mess as well.
also, i'm confused a bout the marriage thing too- is this an arranged marriage? if you tell your family what he's been doing, i don't think they would want you to be with him (hopefully).

[DoesntMatter]

Wow thats sick shit

[LdFilip]

wth?your bf is planning to do that?for real?

...jesus...i would KILL HIM right where he is -.-

...anyway...consider well,if hes the one for you,when he want to do something like that...(i doubt...no i know)...hes not worth of such a pain.

[niggles]

well if your boyfriend is planning on having sex with his COUSIN, correct me if i'm wrong but it's illegal for a start. Secondly why would you want to carry on with someone whose openly cheated on you?

[belaart]

I meant that our families know each other by now, and are already doing plans.
He makes future plans to keep me but he is not madly in love like I am. Or he doesnt look like, even though he says I'm one for him.

He was a cheater to some of his relationships that's why I'm always alert, but until now he hasn't even try it.
I've told them that would be a one-way ticket!
And so he began paying more attention to that cousin, who enjoys the attention and reciprocates.

If she's just interested in all the praising or if he is just trying to close that chapter I don't know... but I really don't want to stand back and watch!

[belaart]

Btw... He has not cheated yet, it only have been online titillation.
But I don't want it to come to that point.

Any way to take his mind away from that idea?
He is going to ruin all his efforts and surely regreat it profoundly.
I know he doenst want to lose my presence in his life, but I won't be able to ignore it if he cheats on me!

And I've told him & the girl that she would stay at my place and "won't take a no for an answer", but I don't want to control him, I want him to control himself and get his marbles straighten up!

[MerryH]

How can I solve this without breaking it off?
Our marriage is being planned by our families and just found out that I'm pregnant!

Here are several appealing options:

1) Have sex with your own cousin. Then you two will be even and your marriage can start off on the right foot.
2) Tell your boyfriend that you're unsure of who your baby's father is. Could be his, could be your cousin's. Watch his reaction.
3) Propose a sexy role-playing session with him, where you pretend to be his 38-year-old Japanese ex-babysitter and he pretends that he's a little boy with no nagging, snooping fiancee in the picture.
4) Maybe break up with him because he's already cheating on you by carrying on with this other woman and you'd be a god damn chump if you sat back and did nothing.

[nathan85]

If he is willing to do that then surely you are better off without. The fact its his cousin just makes it very weird :/ if it wasn't her then it might be someone else and could you really fully trust him again?

[sadie_genie]

This is some hot stuff.

[devonbrown]

I was going to write something profound here, but I am still laughing at MerryH's response. I couldn't have said it any better, so I am going to cut and paste her response here.

from MerryH:
"Here are several appealing options:

1) Have sex with your own cousin. Then you two will be even and your marriage can start off on the right foot.
2) Tell your boyfriend that you're unsure of who your baby's father is. Could be his, could be your cousin's. Watch his reaction.
3) Propose a sexy role-playing session with him, where you pretend to be his 38-year-old Japanese ex-babysitter and he pretends that he's a little boy with no nagging, snooping fiancee in the picture.
4) Maybe break up with him because he's already cheating on you by carrying on with this other woman and you'd be a god damn chump if you sat back and did nothing."

By the way, I am calling troll on this. It sounds like a week's worth of Jerry Springer episodes wrapped up in one!

[belaart]

Sorry for taking so long to reply.
I'm so sad and only your msgs get me up now that my biggest motive to smile died today.
I spent the whole day at the hospital, with all kinds of exams, but they say maybe it was the stress. Maybe it was fate itself.

He has been the "perfect boyfriend", specially today. Never left my side, until recently when he fell asleep.
And that is exactly what drives me insane! If I didn't knew about those msgs I would think he only have eyes for me!
His whole behavior escapes my logic. I can't understand it!

[Joemama]

Is it black people cousins or normal people cousins

[chelsey king]

Is that for real? he's planning a sex with his cousin? wtf?! talk to him! say that the thought that his slut cousin will be staying in his crib bothers you a lot!