I feel like he has lost interest and just doesn't want to tell me...

[menarefromvenus]

Hi everyone! I need some help. I've nevr been very good at figuring out men,they are so confusing to me! I'll try to give as much detail as possible so you have the full story.
A couple weeks ago I met up with somebody whom I had been chatting to first over the internet,and then via texting for about a month. The first meeting went very well,lots of laughing and joking,flirting,etc.and I felt that we had a lot of common ground with each other. The night ended with a nice hug and kiss at the end and him asking if he will be seeing me again. Actually he had brought that up a couple of times during the evening,so I took it as a good sign since it seemed like he was concerned with us getting together again. And on the way home he texted to thank me for coming out and said he hoped I wasn't dissapointed. I took these things to be good signs,and I think at the time they were.
We had some plans for a few days later,and we had to kind of change things when they changed his schedule at work. He had worked 12 hours,but still wanted to do SOMETHING when he was done working,and we ended up just watching movies. It was a nice night from my viewpoint,very relaxing and comfortable. He wasn't trying to jump all over me either,I think it was atleast 4 hours of watching movies before we even got cuddly. But things did happen eventualy and we had sex,only after a very long time of just cuddling,touching each others face,neck,back with clothes on...just exploring I guess you could say. All in all I know it's not the best idea in the world to have sex with somebody you don't know that well,but I felt that there was a spark there,just an understanding between us that I can't explain really.
The next day I was at work and he texted to let me know that he was glad I came to see him the previous night. Everything seemed fine and normal with our conversations,so I assumed that we didn't screw things up by having sex too soon. But the way he works,is he is in my state for so many weeks and then in his home state for a couple weeks. A cople days after this happened he was scheduled to leave,which I knew. I was hoping he might ask to see me again before he left,but knew that might be unrealistic because he was working 16 hours those days. I was ok with that. But then he started being less chatty,and not being flirtatious and making jokes,etc. like we had the entire time we had been talking. Our conversations through text dwindled down to maybe a couple texts between the two of us before ending the conversation. I've kept my conversations just as they always have been,but he seems like he is not interested. I try to engage him and get him talking,but he just does not seem the same.
So I asked him if he lost interest since that night. He said no and that he's sorry he hasn't been as talkative with work and everything. And said that he is up front. I didn't bring it to his attention that I thought he was being less talkative,so I guess he knew in his mind that he was being that way. He is back home right now,so I can't seem him for a couple of weeks. But the lack of meaningful conversation has continued for the last few days. Last night was the first time he has ever stopped texting back in the middle of a conversation. Usually one of us will just stop texting after an lol,or something neutral and thats the end of the texting for awhile. But not in the middle of a conversation,a conversation that only consisted of 2 texts from each of us. He is defintely acting differently,and it's not because of work and stuff. He is off work since he's back home now,so since he's there now,work can not be a reason anymore. And when he was home last time we still texted regularly. So something is up. Would you take it that he has no interest,eventhough he was given a chance to tell me if that was the case? Is this how most men would act when they have lost interest in seeing somebody in the early stages? I hate when men drag you along,and that is why I asked him in the first place,because I would rather know straight out and not waste his time or mine. If I screwed up by having sex that's fine,but I just want some honesty from the guy.

[Cerby]

Here is a quick tip - texting mean sweet f*ck all and isn't a basis for a relationship.

Have you tried calling him or have you just over-analyzed the texts you're sending back and forth? What about the next date, when are you going out next?

People get bored of texting, or run out of things to say. I text my gf probably 10% as much as I used to when we started dating. . .it doesn't mean something is wrong, it means we just have less to text about because we actually see each other.

So let me ask you, have you asked him whats up face to face or over the phone?

[Mona_B]

I was asking myself the same question. If you were texting, why didn't you talk on the phone then??? That doesn't sound right. I think he was just playing you. And if you wanted to know, why didn't you call him?

[menarefromvenus]

We haven't been able to talk face to face,he is back home for 2 week which is in another state. And I'm definetely not going to call him when he's already acting weird and then have dead silence on the phone because he has nothing left to say to me,or can't say what he really is thinking.

[Benni]

Hmmm... is it possible he's married and being distant now that he's back home with the wife? ????

[bcgirl]

We had some plans for a few days later,and we had to kind of change things when they changed his schedule at work. He had worked 12 hours,but still wanted to do SOMETHING when he was done working

but knew that might be unrealistic because he was working 16 hours those days. I was ok with that. But then he started being less chatty,and not being flirtatious and making jokes,etc.

I've met plenty of men online, while i've had a BOYFRIEND. Online is the easiest way to find someone who is a complete stranger, doesn't know your past, doesn't know your present, doesn't know your circle of friends, doesn't know your career/job and it can be your playground to be whoever you want to be. Whenever i'd have problems with my boyfriend (ex boyfriend now...thank goodness), i'd go online to find some guy who I can have some fun with and forget about my problems with my boyfriend for the time being. Yes it's horrible and it was just using someone else that was innocent. It always felt nice to be appreciated by someone else through flirtations and text messages. When me and my boyfriend were good together, i'd ofcourse pick him than any of my internet flings (ofcourse, i would never let my internet flings know i actually had a boyfriend, it would ruin everything). I'd be great at making up excuses as to why I couldn't hang out with them...."I'm working late", "I'm outta town", "my job requires me to work late". When me and my boyfriend were fighting, i'd run to my internet flings. Ofcourse eventually you end up running out of excuses as to why you couldn't hang out and they become very suspicious as well as your own boyfriend who will become suspicious when you are with him recieving text messages all the time and replying back! I actually started saving my internet fling contacts in my phone as girl's names so my boyfriend wouldn't suspect. And with the internet fling of the month, i'd eventually have to let him go when i'd have way too many excuses and unresponded text messages to keep up with. But the internet is filled with plenty of fish

[alwaystryin]

I agree with Benni. He is probably married or has a gf.

[Mona_B]

We haven't been able to talk face to face,he is back home for 2 week which is in another state. And I'm definetely not going to call him when he's already acting weird and then have dead silence on the phone because he has nothing left to say to me,or can't say what he really is thinking.

Yes, now it is too late for that, you should just forget it. Take it as a lesson for next time. Texting is good for short notes, but not for a real communication. If someone would only text me but not want to talk to me, I would think something is wrong with the person.