How to Stop Dreaming about her?

[JJP]

It's a year and a half since I broke up with a girl and I have found it very difficult to get over her. Time has made it easier to go about my daily life and not think about her as much, but she still comes into my mind a lot. I push her out of my head and don't think about her because it's only going to upset me and I know that ignoring her as much as I can has helped me live a happier life. I can control it to a degree when I am awake, when she comes up in my mind I just think about other girls instead. But I can't control it when I am dreaming.

I seem to dream a hell of a lot, almost every night. I don't dream about her that much, but at least once or twice a month I will. Usually the story line will involve us getting back together and just hanging out, having an awesome time. Sometimes we are already hanging out, but in my dream I think that we must have got back together. These dreams make me SO happy. Inside my dream I am the happiest person I have been since she started being distant. It's a happiness which is just there all the time and just means I am always in a good mood. It reminds me of how I was 2 years ago, even when something bad happened, I could console myself with that feeling. When she went I felt that happiness inside go instantly, and I have only felt it again in my dreams of her. I do my best to be positive, fun, happy, and most people think I am over her. But I still feel a part of me missing (sorry for cheesyness phrases thread)

When I wake up from these dreams I feel that happiness whip away from me instantly. It is the most horrible feeling I have had in my life and it keeps happening. It happened this morning and I wasn't even accidentally thinking about her last night. She just seems to pop up in my dreams to destroy me again. Then I can't stop thinking about her for a while and it pretty much ruins my day.

In terms of moving on to other girls, I only know one girl other then her who I would want and unfortunately that just isn't possible right now. Everyone else pales in comparison. I shouldn't compare, but it's an unconscious thing. And when I do fancy girls, they always seem to look a lot like my X... I don't know whether that is unhealthy or it's just because I love cute short brunettes with big brown eyes, and she was a perfect example.

Anyways, how can I stop dreaming? Or stop dreaming about her? I hate the thought of loosing my dreams because they are often so weird and fun, but if it gets rid of what happened this morning, or other mornings, I need to do it.

[smackie9]

You have put this girl up on a pedestal. Maybe that's one of the underlying reasons things didn't work out....girls hate it. You need to find other ways to forget about her and stop using her like a drug addiction. You can start by finding a hobby or an interest that will challenge you, and something where you can interact with people. Join a sports team, take up rock climbing, whatever.....you need to get on with your life.

[zertaag]

I agree with what smackie9 said, "You have put this girl up on a pedestal". You really have elevated her *greatness* to a new level, out of missing her and not letting YOURSELF get over her. Dreams do not always mean something, sometimes I dream of my exes as well. Normally I would said not to worry about it if she pops into your dreams once and awhile, but I think you need to take serious action in order to keep her mental image at bay.

Whether you think you've gotten over her or not, it seems as though you have not. You really need to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and say "It didn't work out, it's over and I need to move on". Like smackie9 said, find a hobby, immerse yourself in your friends, fill your mind up with POSITIVES and keep the negatives (your ex) out of the picture. It's hard, but you really need to just tell yourself to stop. Every time she waltzes on through your head you need to tell yourself to stop. She's just not worth fretting over anymore. Find a mantra and stick to it. You can do this.