LOL, and so you think this makes it okay? Like all those financial a-holes who contributed to the meltdown by saying 'well, everyone *else* was doing it...'. That's not a good enough reason. You need to come up with better than this.
The marriage vows are ideals, like I said. Its something we are supposed to aspire to and, if we fail, we aren't supposed to be proud of it. I'm quite likely the woman you hate: married 20 years, never cheated and never cheated on. I thought about it once, oh yes. But I decided I'd rather eat my own shit than disrespect the man I married, sacrifice my own sense of self-respect and destroy the wonderful family we've created. I'm not a Christian zealot either, far from it.
Of course, if you can honestly say you are happy with the choices you have made, and respect yourself for them, then kudos to you. I couldn't do what you do, not now, but people's values on what is important vary. Having a family changes everything. Also, if your husband is okay with this, then you are living an honest life. If not, then I can only guess you are posting here to find out what other people think and how they made their decisions about such things.
So ask. And welcome to the forum, Tina.
Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
--Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh
1 word for you Tina : karma
Couples need to be educated *before they get married* on the natural stages a marriage goes through. Love changes with time. It waxes and wanes and this is completely normal. There are days I love my husband to death and others I imagine I'd be okay if he was run over by a bus (not really, but the sentiment is the same). I know he has days when he wonders if the space aliens will ever bring his wife back.
The glue that holds it all together is commitment and a certain sense of 'this too shall pass'. To what tho, that's the billion-dollar question everyone has to figure out for themself.
Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
--Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh
Ive done some pretty ****ed up things to people in my days Tina. Ive been called way worse than Cunting Whore....and rightly so. So youre not really bringing it if your beef with me is just that I call you a whore. So do you want an award? Are you Proud of your decision?
Obviously, I dont know you so for you to be offended by some schmuck on an internet forum is ludicrous. Tell your lovers what they think of all this....dont ask us. Commitment is the key to everything in relationship
You see this is where you'll never grow from what you're doing now because you have the wrong idea about love. Whether you cheat or not has nothing to do with not loving your partner. It has everything to do with your own standards and personal boundaries that you have in place. You have no personal boundaries and so you have nothing to guage in yourself what is right and what is wrong in what you do or in how you treat the person that has chosen you as their life partner.Originally Posted by tinantx I may not have found love yet. But when I do, I may be less willing to cheat.
You have a bit of a conscience though or you'd not come her in the guise of gloating when it's plain to see you are looking for some chastisement which, in your mixed up thinking you immediately try to justify.
You asked for our thoughts.. those are mine.
I'll offer some advice, not that you asked for any but none the less: Figure out what you want, and then strive for that. Don't run back to the devil you know because he's familiar and safer than the devil you don't. I wouldn't place any importance on going back to your ex because you had some unbridled sex.. that was just lust and that's your effing problem, Tina. You don't know the difference between lust and being loving and treated with loving actions. Firgure that out and then you'll pick someone that you can be happy with and the good sex you have with them will just be another ingriedient in a happy and functional relationship. I suggest you learn to live without a man for a while and then maybe you'll learn to pick someone worth yourself. First you have to know and believe that you are worth something though or you'll just keep ending up getting your self-worth through your vag.. then that will lead to you losing your self-respect and next thing you know... you're just a whore.
you are always going to be a woman who thinks the "grass is greener on the other side". You cheated on your hubby with this older boyfriend of yours. You liked the thrill and excitement and passion of a new thing. Now that you have been with this boyfriend, you've realized he isn't the "dream man" you've longed for like in your fantasy. Well reality check.... this is life. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. And everybody, every relationship will have flaws.
As for cheating on your boyfriend with your husband..... i think it's all the tension, build up, mixture of thrill and excitement of having a boyfriend yet going back with your hubby for a one night stand that made the sex so "amazing". It's not love, or whatever you want to call it. Even if you go back to your hubby now.... you'll quickly realize that it isn't fun and exciting anymore and you aren't sexually attracted to him anymore....and off to the next guy who will give you that rush of fun and excitement and butterflies in your stomach feeling. You are a very confused woman who has NO IDEA what she wants. Karma is a real b**** and one day you'll get your just desserts in the worst way possible.
I sincerely hope you're not classing yourself as one. To me it sounds as if you're a spoiled little brat who doesn't care who she steps on and hurts in order to get her way.
Your new boyfriend doesn't treat you well because he has no real feelings for you, and additionally, he has no respect for you, for the way you left your husband for him. To him you're a convenience, a plushly-lined slippery knothole to put his dick into.
Your husband is an idiot if he wants you back - you're just going to do it to him again, unless you get some counseling.
This thread title is misleading. I don't see anything interesting here, just a boring troll flinging an unlikely story at our regulars. It's probably just some random college guy who couldn't afford to go anywhere for spring break.
Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.