Okay, I have always had an issue or two with commitment/intimacy. It started 5 years ago when a casual date of mine got very physically aggressive and ended up stalking me. Since then, it seems like anything past kissing flips a switch with me, and I get this need to leave as soon as possible. It's silly, I know. I'm a virgin. I've been waiting for the "right guy," who has just never showed up (or I have just not let in...?)

Within the past month, my best friend's older brother confessed that he's had feelings for me for quite some time. I was pretty oblivious to the whole thing, we are both shy-ish and it just went over my head. I've always had a great time with him, I never laugh as hard as I do when I'm with him--- it always feels so easy and natural. For some reason, I have already been able to spend the night at his place (no sex, but...) and we go out frequently. Tonight is our first "real" date. I can't explain how sweet and atypical this guy is.

Whilst I have had more or less no real dating experience without me freaking out two weeks in, he has had one serious (years long) relationship.

I'm confused as to why this is so different. Maybe I just needed to write it out? But it's complicated because he is my best friends brother, but also that I have two years of school left 7 hours away (starting in 5 months). I want to give myself to him. But I keep dwelling on when I'll be gone, whether he'll get bored if I give it up so soon...

Please give me advice.