I need help urgently.

[troublemaker]

Recently, i was together with my boyfriend for around 2months. Is consider new love. We got into fights almost everytime. But just 3days ago, we are fighting until that he lost his feeling to continue. He have trust issue problem due to his past relationship and now he have trust problem with me. So whatever i say, he find it hard to believe. Because of the fight that we had few days back, i'm trying to do something to make feel him touched or at least happy so he wont leave me. I cook for him just because he like girls that can cook. So i make food that he like. But he recently told me he has a suffocating feeling when he see my face/meet me face to face. Why does he feel this way? i dont understand. And how can i make him feel happy again? i really need help. i really want to continue this relationship with him. anyone please help me if you can. please.

[searock]

He wants to be left alone. I suggest you move out as soon as possible.

[smackie9]

It doesn't matter how nice you are or how much you do for them.....that's not how your earn a commitment from someone. When you do stuff like that it makes him obligated, like you expect something back from him for doing all that...and this makes him feel pressured and smothered. Back off and leave him alone. The more you beg the more he will push you away.

Sometimes people realize that they are not ready for a committed relationship. It's obvious he isn't ready, and that he still needs to get over his last relationship before he can move on.

Plus you are not getting along, if you are constantly fighting....this is unhealthy. You think that being with a man that he will bring you happiness...but at what cost? Do yourself a favor and stop depending on a relationship to give you purpose in life....this is why your relationship is failing.

[troublemaker]

thanks for helping me.

It really trouble me for days already. He said he want me to do something so he will come back to me. I dont know what he want me to do actually. He keep saying that he dont want to end this with me but i dont understand. If he really love me and i really love him, why cant we just get together happily? He say he still didnt hear the things he want to hear from me. I was so confused. I say what i have to say to him. What he actually want from me? sorry. im really confused. Please help me. Please.

[smackie9]

Tell him you are not a mind reader and you don't play games. Tell him that you can't help this situation unless he tells you what he wants from you, period!

We are not mind readers here either, we can't tell you what he expects. Now get back up and go talk to him.

[troublemaker]

this is ridiculous. i told him that his expectation for me is too high ( what he want me to do for him everytime we have fights). He cant give in to me. So he says his expectations are very high for girls. So he cant change for me. He even ask me to give up if i cant achieve that. I even tell my friends about this. They say its not worth to hold on. Isit time for me to let it go?

[Wakeup]

this is ridiculous. i told him that his expectation for me is too high ( what he want me to do for him everytime we have fights). He cant give in to me. So he says his expectations are very high for girls. So he cant change for me. He even ask me to give up if i cant achieve that. I even tell my friends about this. They say its not worth to hold on. Isit time for me to let it go?

What does he do for you that meet your expectations? This sounds like you do all the work and jump through hoop after hoop just to be with him.. what's so good about him that compels you to keep trying to meet his ambiguous expectations?

Isit time for me to let it go?

I would say at the very least, it's time for you to take back your personal power and tell him that if HE wants to be with YOU then he has to make just as much an effort, if he doesn't do anything to make this relationship run smoothly and happily then, yes.. it's time for you to let it go.

[smackie9]

this is ridiculous. i told him that his expectation for me is too high ( what he want me to do for him everytime we have fights). He cant give in to me. So he says his expectations are very high for girls. So he cant change for me. He even ask me to give up if i cant achieve that. I even tell my friends about this. They say its not worth to hold on. Isit time for me to let it go?

I know what he is doing. He places impossible demands on you so it will force you to break up with him.....this is what he wants you to tell him , that it's over. So give him what he wants....end it. Your friends are spot on with their advice, he is not worth it.

[bcgirl]

you been together for only 2 months and you are constantly fighting??!!!!! HOLY S***!! This relationship is a dead end and you two must be stupid to continue romantically together.

[troublemaker]

Yes, constantly fighting. Around 3-4 days we will fight. Normally he is picking up something to fight with me. So i will be the one who endure and give in. He dont give in to me once. So now, he want me to give up on him. he said he will only continue with that girl if he see her in the future as wife. To me this is rubbish concept. So now, all my friends tell me to end this so he wont hurt me anymore.

[smackie9]

That's great advice....