Take a break or walk away???

[jammit2k]

We have an amazing relationship, let me just say that upfront.
But there is one problem and it's that her life is chaotic right now. She is always working to keep her head above water, her teenage son has been getting into trouble, the youngest has slight emotional issues, and he dad is leaching off of her. When we are together it's amazing, we have excellent chemistry. She says it's one of the few bright spots in her life right now. Everyone will tell you we are the most perfect couple, and we are. But she is letting that stress of life over take her.

I am 40, she is 36. The 3 kids, i adore, and they adore me. The father, I like and likes me. I get along with all of her friends and family and my friends and family adore her. It REALLY is the perfect love story. The big problem is she is killing herself working like a dog to support all these people, and not fail as a parent. Her health is deteriorating and her stress levels are through the roof. She can't seem to figure out how to tell her freeloading dad it's time to go, and it's killing her because she wants to but doesn't want to be the bad guy. The teenager is a great kid, but has been brought home twice in the last 6 months by the cops. I've been there for her, and I've also been patient and understanding of her time and needs.

She said she needs a break from us to get her life back on track, and she feels like she's not giving me 100%. She feels like i deserve better, and she doesn't want to half ass our relationship...I get it, I totally understand. I'm not selfish, and nor do I demand time, I know her life is hectic. I could spend 5 minutes with her and it would make my day. I've been VERY understanding, supportive, caring. I just can't understand why me? All that negative stuff in her life and she pushes me away? we are a great couple, I just think life is hard no matter what you do. I try to tell her life is hard, it can will roll you hard. All you can do is your best and live it. She could break up with me and what would that solve? Her life will still be hard and she will lose a good thing for nothing.

I'm not a jerk, we agreed to take a break for a week for her to think about it because she doesn't want to break up, but she seems to think it's the only way for her to focus on her, her kids, and the stress she has and not hurt me. I'm not sure if that's selfish of her, or very thoughtful. But how can we over come lifes problems if we can't do it together? So that's bothering me. I think if love is worth it you find a way to make it work. Is that selfish of me?

Do I wait the week? or should I just man up and walk away. This break up has the potential to be really devastating to me. This will be the longest week of my life but I've always been fair. If the outcome is she thinks we need to break up after waiting all week I'll be crushed. Do any of you think I'm wasting time delaying the inevitable? What would any of you do?

[VincenzoG91]

Unless she is planning to use that week to give her dad the boot and abolish teenage rebellion, I don't see the point to this break. Though she does need to set some priorities, so maybe she can figure that out in a week.

[IndiReloaded]

I've been VERY understanding, supportive, caring. I just can't understand why me? All that negative stuff in her life and she pushes me away?

Excellent questions. Are you a source of stability in her life, in addition to happiness? I'm assuming you are self-sufficient and are baggage-free (no ex wife, kids, etc)?

If so, I can't fathom why she would break with you. Unless she thinks she doesn't have the time and/our resources to give you and make you happy. Have you actually discussed how often you want to be together? Maybe what she needs to hear from you, voluntarily, is that you support her taking care of her business and are prepared to be creative in how you find time for each other. If her finances are an issue and yours aren't, maybe you could offer to pay for some regular childminding so the two of you get out. Or something else that might be taking up time that you could otherwise spend together, say, housecleaning? For $60-80/week, you can get a sizable house cleaned for 4 hours. Give it to her as a gift for a special occasion, so she doesn't feel like you are supporting her if she is proud, which sounds like she may be.