Who would you choose?

[wonderingsoul]

I know 2 men, both are great men, and I wonder who would you choose if you are in my position.

The first one I met is a great career driven man. He was the honor student, always the top of the state. Now is a young but successful surgeon, saving lives and working from before dawn to well after dusk. He is well respect, very rich, and most importantly a really humble and social person. He wasn't perfect though, a little narcissistic, very materialistic, he would easily put work before his girlfriend, possible family. When I first met him, sparks was flying, chemistry was bubbling, but well and behold, I found out he has a long time girlfriend. He tells me his relationship with his girlfriend had been rocky, but I am not a person who likes to reck relationship, so I backed off and we remained friends.

The second one I met is more of a mere human. Also a honor student, but this time an engineer stuck in a job that he hates and is leading him no where. However, he is kind, considerate and most caring person I have ever met in my life. I finally accepted him as my boyfriend after a long year of dilemma, and the longer I know him, the more sweeter and kinder he becomes. We get along and even if we fight, things gets solved very quickly. He's not someone my parents would accept secondary to his ethnic background or his career, but I have hidden him from my parents, and my relationship have been smooth sailing for over 1 year. He is also ambitious but he lacks the confidence and is restricted by his geographic residence to further his career. He is one who would value his family over career, and wants to work hard because of family.

After being stable with him for a year, the first man call me. He tells me he's finally broken up with his girlfriend and asked me out.

What would you have done if you are in my situation? This story happend half a year ago now and I had already my decision. But I wander if it had been the right one, and what would most people have chosen in my situation.

[AdminOnline]

when a man get rich, they will go out to find more woman.
once these richie are sick with the same woman, they will move on to another woman.

i just warn you in advance about what $$$ can bring one to.

Question is are you looking for short-term or long term & lasting love ?

hope this post enlighten you.

[HeartIsAching]

The fact that the first one wanted to start seeing you while still with his girlfriend is a huge red flag. He's not going to magically become faithful to you, he's going to cheat on you too.

I feel certain that's the way you chose.

[Cerby]

I know 2 men, both are great men, and I wonder who would you choose if you are in my position.

The first one I met is a great career driven man. He was the honor student, always the top of the state. Now is a young but successful surgeon, saving lives and working from before dawn to well after dusk. He is well respect, very rich, and most importantly a really humble and social person. He wasn't perfect though, a little narcissistic, very materialistic, he would easily put work before his girlfriend, possible family. When I first met him, sparks was flying, chemistry was bubbling, but well and behold, I found out he has a long time girlfriend. He tells me his relationship with his girlfriend had been rocky, but I am not a person who likes to reck relationship, so I backed off and we remained friends.

The second one I met is more of a mere human. Also a honor student, but this time an engineer stuck in a job that he hates and is leading him no where. However, he is kind, considerate and most caring person I have ever met in my life. I finally accepted him as my boyfriend after a long year of dilemma, and the longer I know him, the more sweeter and kinder he becomes. We get along and even if we fight, things gets solved very quickly. He's not someone my parents would accept secondary to his ethnic background or his career, but I have hidden him from my parents, and my relationship have been smooth sailing for over 1 year. He is also ambitious but he lacks the confidence and is restricted by his geographic residence to further his career. He is one who would value his family over career, and wants to work hard because of family.

After being stable with him for a year, the first man call me. He tells me he's finally broken up with his girlfriend and asked me out.

What would you have done if you are in my situation? This story happend half a year ago now and I had already my decision. But I wander if it had been the right one, and what would most people have chosen in my situation.

A year and a half ago? This is what I would have done.
If I were you I'd break up with the engineer, the fact you're even considering this means you're not in love with him, at least not in a way that you'll stay faithful to him. You're still regretting your decision, so obviously you're not with him for the long haul.

[DianaDBoss]

AGREED! Plus, I LOVE your signature that is real talk right there.

[IndiReloaded]

The fact that the first one wanted to start seeing you while still with his girlfriend is a huge red flag.

This^ was my thought too. If you want to do the sisterhood a favour, tell him this. That you lost respect for him when he tried to date you while he was otherwise committed. Which it sounds like you did. Thank him for the offer of the date, but tell him you are with someone and don't believe in cheating.

If you did this, kudos. Now, you need to decide why you can't be happy with the guy who is obviously the better man.

[searock]

I agree with Cerby: the fact that you considered breaking up with your boyfriend meant that you weren't in love with him. So you should have broken up with him regardless. I would have broken up with him. Was the other guy willing to cheat on his girlfriend with you when they were still together? If so, I wouldn't have dated him. Otherwise, I would have casually dated him, why not? No high expectations though.

[wonderingsoul]

Thank you all for your reply. I chose my engineer over the surgeon...now the problem is convincing my parents.

[searock]

Are you happy with your decision? Doesn't seem like it, you wouldn't be posting threads about it if you were.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

What's wrong with an engineer? I guess it's not a surgeon, but still pretty high up as far as career earnings and all that other superficial shit go.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

On second thought, you seem like you want to be a superficial bitch. You should go for the surgeon, and just accept the material things you'll get as payment for the indiscretions you'll have to put up with. Just think about how many nurses will be trying to **** him. You can drive a Benz though. Hell, you may as well have some indiscretions of your own.

[vashti]

Just think about how many nurses will be trying to **** him.

Fewer than you obviously think. Nurses have a very unromantic opinion of doctors/surgeons, unlike the general public.

But I WILL say that family will definitely take second place after work for any doctor that is good.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I apologize, Vashti. I meant young residents. In any event, there will be no shortage of women trying to **** him.