help me give my lover direction

[heyjude]

Hi,
I have a fella who is crazy for me. I am very crazy for him too. He is everything I am looking for in a mate except for one thing. The sex is less than satisfying for me. He is happy with things, but I am not and I don't know how to tell him what to do without screwing things up. Basically, I want him to stop focussing on my orgasm. It will happen as it happens and it isn't his responsibility in my opinion. This I have been able to tell him. no problem. The other issue is that when he penetrates me and is pumping (sorry for the graphic description ...I don' t know how else to say it) he is too fast and too hard for my liking. I cannot orgasm that way. I need it gentle and slow. I have tried getting on top and being in control but when I do, he loses his erection. He is also quite small compared to my ex, but I think I can adjust to that if he could just move in a way that pleases me. Please give me some advice how I can express this to him as I want to be with him, but if the sex isn't satisfying I won't last.

[AdminOnline]

did you tried ask him to slow down?
and is his response?

[heyjude]

yes I asked ....he didn't. I tried saying that I like it slow and gentle. That I like to feel him slowly sliding in and out of me.

[Boisdevie]

Another excellent post along the same old lines: Our relationship is brilliant, fantastic, best ever blah blah blah. EXCEPT FOR THAT REALLY BIG PROBLEM THAT'S ANNOYING THE SHITE OUT OF ME.
Listen honey, you've explained what you want but to be honest if he was a caring lover he'd have done his best already to find out what YOU like. He hasn't done this so perhaps he just doesn't care does he? So he's either unwilling to change or unprepared to change. In either case it's not going to work is it?

[oldskool83]

tell him to slow down you dont like it fast. if he cant stop you dont feel like humping that evening then.

[Love master]

That's right. I don't think that slow down is a hard problem!

[heyjude]

Thanks people! Yes, will try one last time and then move on. I sometimes think some men think that women want to be pounded.

[heyjude]

Love master, why does it say you are dead instead of a registered user?

[smackie9]

Thanks people! Yes, will try one last time and then move on. I sometimes think some men think that women want to be pounded.

That's because he gets his training from watching porn. He sounds young and immature. Ya a good lover is a good listener. Obviously he ain't that.

[jetta86s]

Hmmm... maybe because he likes doing it and he can't control it. Perhaps you have to do some stimulation first and do the job instead.

[smoothmazz]

That's because he gets his training from watching porn. He sounds young and immature. Ya a good lover is a good listener. Obviously he ain't that.

This right here is the reason he acts the way he does. Be blunt or he isn't going to listen and tell him to stop watching so much Sasha Grey.