Female Opinion on what I should do to keep my Girlfriend

[RyanF]

I never thought I’d see the day where I turn to a internet community for relationship advice. I guess I’ll just start out by giving you my background with her. We’re both currently 19 and a half years old who first started dating in our senior year of high school. We both attended our first year of college together at the same university and we both became close friends with the same group of people. Throughout college our relationship was good. We had a few small fights over the two semesters but nothing that got us worked up for more than a day. We both were close to each other. Towards the end of the second semester of college we both agreed that our infatuation for each other has wore off but we still truly loved each other. Once college got out things started to go downhill fast. We both worked part time jobs and spent time with each other when we had our days off. We started fighting almost on a weekly basis. Some of the issues were, me being too negative all the time about everything (Which I am guilty of, I have tried very hard to work on being positive all summer, but I still slip up), Being stubborn and very opinionated (I’m not afraid to say what’s on my mind about what ever topic we are discussing [She doesn’t like how I don’t agree with her on every idea she has]) and another issue is the fact on days we can not hang out I enjoy spending my time playing xbox. She says I do not hold a conversation with her while I am playing it, but I do indeed hold a conversation just as much as I would without playing it. The only exception is the fact I take 2-3 minutes in between texts to respond to her as I would not be able to play a game if I was texting back instantaneously. I know I’m writing a novel but here comes the part I am looking for advice on. Within the month of August we have been on the verge of breaking up 3-4 times. One time so much that she continuously said I don’t think we should be together over a text. I refused to agree to it and instead drove down to her house to speak to her in person about the issue. I told her to trust me and to wait and see if things get better in college again. (Also within the summer her mom has grown sour of me and does not care for me. She thinks I am not good for her daughter and she plays a HUGEEE roll in making her believe we are not right for each other) Most of the issues that caused fights over the summer are caused purely because it is summer and how we live our lives. (I.E. Me playing xbox a lot, her talking to her mother all the time about how she doesn’t care for me, Me being very negative about my job all the time and venting to her about it) Lately she says she does not know what she wants. She doesn’t believe me when I say things will get better in college. She told me she still loves me and that she’d always love me as a friend but she does not feel as close to me as she used to. I’ve been trying very hard to work on myself and to show her love how I used to when we first started going out, but I don’t feel/see her trying to work on our relationship too. I will admit I’ve make the mistake of pleading for her to stay and to work on our relationship and showing my emotions too much. I know I could never just be friends with her if we do break up…at least not until I’ve recovered from the break up and I have another girlfriend. (Which could be years). The thought of her with another guy makes my stomach literally sick. Us having the same very close friends (The two close guy friends will be living in my campus apartment with me, and she will be living in a campus apartment across the hall from our apartment) will also make just being “friends” nearly impossible. I really want to work on our relationship but I’ve told her that we both need to be working together to make it work and she responds back with Idk, Idk what I want.

I know I’m missing parts to the story but my mind hurts right now from thinking about this mess and I don’t know how to explain some situations we have. :/

[helppleasee]

To tell you the truth my boyfriend and I are going through a similar situation, but he is 26. And yes he still likes to play his video games when he has the free time. Which i
absolutely hate. I know every one has their own opinions but i feel that video games are for children. What you need to do is prove to her that she is on the top of your priority
list. If you want her back and you want her to take you serious you need to stop the xbox when she is around or when you two are having a conversation. I am sure your texts
to her are very vague when you are focusing on your xbox. At this point in her life, being in college she wants to see a boyfriend as a potential husband, someone that she can
eventually be with for the rest of her life. She doesn't want to wast time with a guy who she cant picture a future with. And the being negative about things, you should be
able to talk to her if you are having a bad day, but im sure if it is an every day thing she is going to be fed up hearing every day you are having a bad day. You need to praise
her for being in your life and stop to think maybe she is having a bad day too and wants to vent to you about it without hearing about your bad day like she does every day.
Do NICE things for her like buy her a flower text her just to say your thinking about her, do just give her negative things about yourself all the time. If you treat her like the
princess her mom thinks she is, her mom will eventually fall in love with you too for treating her daughter how she believes her daughter deserves to be treated.

[Cerby]

Speaking from a guys perspective here.

That time you spend playing xbox is your time, **** her if she complains you don't reply back immediately. How often do you see each other throughout the week? Do you cancel plans with her to play xbox? If not, then she is asking too much. Video game are no longer for children, the age group and gender gap is almost non-existent. There are guys in their 40s and 50s playing Battlefield, women playing games like World of Warcraft, so play away, what you do with your free time is you choice, and you should not bend to her every request. If she is upset at you for not responding while playing, then pitch her a thought, how about she CALL you instead of sending a text.

Being negative, you're working on it, what else more can she ask for? If you don't feel she is carrying her weight in making things right, then balls up and cut her loose. In college there are tons of women around who won't put you on the 3 ft leash.