Relationship Dilemma

[GirlOne]

lol ... girls are lots of contradictions!

Let me clarify: my photos are when I was slimmer and I have put on some weight (not much I hasten to add, I'm not an elephant). I don't play games, it's all very straightforward I am studying and I don't have hardly any money and he lives long distance and as I'm busy with exams it will be next summer before I can see him after my exams. Yep I'm quite intense and also laid back, but mainly laid back. I do get chased (even now) by guys offline, but I've gotten to know this guy very well and I really like him and his personality. I'm not deliberately picking this guy as he's long distance, it just happens to be the case he lives long distance. If it works out on both sides, I could move to be where he lives. I'm not sure this guy has lots of options. He wants to shake off this friends with benefits and I don't care if he's having sex with her or not. I don't think he thinks I'm that different from my photo which was taken a year ago and is me with my friends on a night out eg very normal natural photo and certainly not posed or anything.

[Wakeup]

but I've gotten to know this guy very well

Sorry, but you have only gotten to know what he tells you. You've spent zero amount of time with him so you've not seen any action whatsoever that would coincide with his words. Words mean nothing unless they are backed up by actions. You're fooling yourself and you're wasting your time IMNSHO. However; you are adamant in your stance so no sense arguing any of this with you.

What would you like us to tell you? Maybe we can just tell you that.

... and don't kid yourself.. Most guys know that when a chick from online won't show herself that 9 times out of 10 she's not who she has portrayed herself to be. Same thing goes for most woman who actually know about and distance themselves from red flag behaviour.

lol ... girls are lots of contradictions!

Is This is how you explain away your disingenuousness?

[Boisdevie]

If it works out on both sides, I could move to be where he lives.

What a really stupid thing to say. YOu have not even met the guy and are already thinking that you could move to be where he lives. Are you really so stupid? It won't work and you'll have wasted a fair chunk of your young life on some cybershit that's worth absolutely bloody nothing. You really are living on planet elsewhere aren't you?

[IndiReloaded]

We used to have a Sticky called "Doomed Internet Relationships". This thread belongs there.

I don't know about the whole online dating thing, but seems to me you would use a recent photo, if only to avoid all this kind of BS and the type of interaction that Cerby described. How embarrassing, both for that woman *and* for Cerby for having to deal with it.

If you are looking for a relationship, you want someone who takes you as you are. Or if you are ashamed of how you look right now (the only explanation I can think of) then *don't date until you are happy with who you are*. Otherwise you are just wasting some poor guys time, as well as your own.

[GirlOne]

I used to live where he currently lives. Also I have a lot of friends where he lives. If I go and visit him, I will also be visiting and meeting up with my friends. I would say photos from a year ago are recent also, like I said I am not an elephant and I can lose a lot of weight if I want to (which I'm doing). He's also a friend of a friend and we have mutual friends so I know he's not full of BS. I'm not stopping him doing anything ie dating other girls ... also I'm free to meet offline with guys who chase me, just that he and I really hit it off ... thank you for your comments, I think I will skype him as I'm not that different from my photo of a year ago ... it is true what you say though, he's only telling me what he wants me to know ... but how true is that when you date offline also? How many of us have found out things about partners down the line which paint them in not so great a picture that would have affected whether we continue to date them if we found that out in the initial stages of dating?

[GirlOne]

Sorry, but you have only gotten to know what he tells you. You've spent zero amount of time with him so you've not seen any action whatsoever that would coincide with his words. Words mean nothing unless they are backed up by actions. You're fooling yourself and you're wasting your time IMNSHO. However; you are adamant in your stance so no sense arguing any of this with you.

What would you like us to tell you? Maybe we can just tell you that.

... and don't kid yourself.. Most guys know that when a chick from online won't show herself that 9 times out of 10 she's not who she has portrayed herself to be. Same thing goes for most woman who actually know about and distance themselves from red flag behaviour.

Is This is how you explain away your disingenuousness?

I like having contradictions, it makes for a more complex personality I don't like being bored ...

[Boisdevie]

I like having contradictions, it makes for a more complex personality I don't like being bored ...

I prefer to deal with people a bit, how shall we say, normal.

[GirlOne]

Hmmm yes, I agree it's not normal to say "I'm intense and laid back at the same time" . Perhaps I should clarify. At the start of any relationship there is a degree of intensity as both people get to know each other. Then over time it becomes more familiar and comfortable. And of course, who likes to be bored? correct, no-one.

[IndiReloaded]

And of course, who likes to be bored? correct, no-one.

Speak for yourself. Boring = comfortable = no drama. There's much to be said for that kind of relationship.