I cheated...

[jsilencio]

OK so long story short, my girlfriend and I just celebrated our one year anniversary, and 5 days later I cheated on her with my coworker. Now the truth is I really do believe I love my girlfriend, but I find her boring at times. My coworker and I were just hanging out as friends drinking with my roommate and a few other people. Everybody left(except for her, she invited herself to stay the night) and my roommate went to bed. So we we're just listening to music, and next thing you know were snuggling, and talking about how we get each other. Then she said she wanted to just lay down and snuggle. So we go to my room, and she gets out of her pants and hoodie Cruz apparently she sleeps in her underwear, so were laying in NY bed snuggling going to sleep and listening to music and I adjusted my hand on her back and she said "what are you trying to take off my bra?" I replied "no if I wanted it off it would be off" she continues on about how she bet I couldn't get it and how it was my one chance. And right then and there, its like my whole yearlong relationship flashed before my eyes, and I decided that I still kind of wanted to. So I did. And it was like opening Pandoras box...she kissed me and I kissed her, and we ended up going all the way. Now I don't know why but I always joked with myself, if I ever have a chance with her I'm taking it, and I guess that's what ultimately lead to my cheat. But I also feel there might be problems I'm not addressing in my relationship and so I was seeking fun else where... anyways just writing it off my chest, comments are welcome, I decided to never tell my gf and to never let it happen again... but who knows...

[rob1984]

now turn the story around and pretend your gf did this with some guy, and just decided not to tell you. You owe it to her man, if it breaks you 2 up, it was meant to be. I screwed up once as well, and manned up.. never as far as you but i was out clubbing got wasted and made out with a girl on the dance floor.. my wife forgave me. few months ago, my wife was with a co worker and he kissed her, she kissed back... but stopped it and manned up as well. Relationships will have their ups and downs, we are humans and we make mistakes. My wife has issues that are quit deep, that lead to her doing what she did, me well I was just a douche bag. If you and your gf love each other so much you 2 may get through this, but do not live a lie.

[jsilencio]

OK I definitely see where your coming from, but how do you approach a woman about something like this? My gf is going to leave me I absolutely know that. And your right she does deserve to know. She's been through so much with me (she was with me when my mom passed away) I just don't know what I'm going to do with myself. But at the same time I definitely feel the relationship was/possibly still is getting stale. And that's no reason not to tell her I know. And also I wanted to try it with another girl. None of these excuses justify what I did, so I don't even think I should try to explain myself. Thoughts on approaching her?

[rob1984]

straight up, tell her " babe I screwed up, I cheated on you with a co worker, never planned on it but it happened, because I love you.. you deserve to know" and no matter what do not defend your actions.. let her feel whatever she wants to.. if you relationship ends it ends.. plus I feel you did this as a way out for you anyway.. `if you gf takes you back and you feel you may do it again in the future.. then just let her go, So she can find someone trust worthy. Good luck we are humans to begin with, theres no excuse for your actions, so man up, she will respect you more, even if you 2 do not stay together

[michelle23]

You knew exactly what you were doing and you really didn't care. If you really loved her this would not have happened. You are bang out of order here and you need to tell her. If she leaves you-good for her. You dont deserve her

[michelle23]

"But I also feel there might be problems I'm not addressing in my relationship and so I was seeking fun else where".. do not blame this on anything else but yourself. A cheater will never realize what they have done and how bad it was until Karma comes back to bite you on the ass. It will prob happen to you when you think you have met "the one" maybe that will be enough to make sure you NEVER do this to anyone again. Until you learn your lesson though properly, you will probably do this again

[Genjuros]

This will likely hunt you for the rest of your life. I speak of experience. in my case, I left the GF. Was such a big rock off my chest, being able to enjoy future women as single, not having to think of ones actions are wrong.

[michelle23]

Basically would you prefer to have pointless random sex with lots of different whores or would you prefer a real girlfriend who loves you and respects herself? Make the choice now because you cannot have your cake and eat it too unless she agrees to an open relationship.

You have to tell her what you did though because you cannot have this big a secret. It will destroy her if she finds out a year later and realizes she has been living a lie. She has to have that choice to make up her own mind about what she wants to do next. It is wrong to lie to her and Im guessing she probably deserves better than you

[Wakeup]

I decided to never tell my gf and to never let it happen again... but who knows...

I imagine half that statement is true ~ You'll never tell your gf. Those "you need to tell her" echos won't work on you, I'm sure.

Funny how you're wracking your brain to figure out where you're not satisfied with your current relationship. Truth is, there's nothing wrong with it, you simply crossed an exclusive relationship boundary with a skank and you let your dick rule you instead of telling your female "friend" it was time she went home.

Were you smart enough to wear a rubber so you don't spread anything to your actual girlfriend?

Are you still hanging with the skank who seduced you into ****ing her while simutaneously ****ing yourself out of a decent emotional bond with your EXCLUSIVE partner?

Do you still work with the skank? If you do then you're kidding yourself (certainly not us) about it never happening again. If she'll do it with you, she'll do it on you (wear a rubber everytime)

plus I feel you did this as a way out for you anyway..

I don't, I feel he didn't because he could and he's selfish in his intent to keep the girlfriend while knowing exactly what he was doing.

All the advice from the posters above is meant for people who have a conscience. I doubt you'll take any of it.

[Wakeup]

I don't, I feel he didn't because he could and he's selfish in his intent to keep the girlfriend while knowing exactly what he was doing.

That should have read: "I feel he DID it" not "didn't."

[bcgirl]

Firstly... Do you even love your gf?? You've only been with her a year and already find her boring. You need to really think about what kind of woman you want for yourself.
Admit your cheating to your gf. If she dumps you, then it was meant to be. If a boring girlfriend is not what you want, you will constantly be eyeing fun and wild girls.

[michelle23]

he doesnt love his gf. he never once said he feels bad or guilty or that he loves her and doesn't want to hurt her. all he did was describe his night with the OW.. funny how he didnt even realize she was trying to seduce him for ages. why would he be alone with any girl if he loved her and why would he invite her into his bed! Plus it wouldnt surprise me if the manipulative b**ch told his gf as she obviously tried everything to get her claws into him.

This was test and he failed and now he is trying to shift the blame to his relationship even though deep down he knows there is nothing wrong with his gf or his relationship-just something wrong with him..

[michelle23]

When you are in love-really in love you protect your relationship from this sort of thing. Your supposed to recognize any threat and avoid it. Its normal to find other people attractive from time to time but that is not an excuse to destroy someone who loves you and trusts you by hopping into bed with someone else. This makes me so mad. He doesnt even care. Selfish pig

It also annoys me when people call this situation "a mistake". He made a decision, not a mistake. He knew his gf would not aprove of him snuggling with her-not to mention everything that lead to..

Be a man, tell you gf and then let her dump you and leave her alone

[jsilencio]

Look I made a poor decision. My judgement was impaired at the time. I never set out to actually sleep with the other girl (its against work policy) and this was like my first real relationship. I was a virgin when I met my gf a year ago... and of course I wore I rubber with my coworker. And look I never wanted to hurt my gf I honestly do love her (or at least I think I do) which is good enough for me. I will tell her about what happened, and honestly I hope she does leave me because she deserves better. She's done nothing else but be a loving and supporting gf and I mucked everything up. And to everyone calling me a douchebag, scumbag, inconsiderate asshole and such, your so right. But cheating isn't just one person, my coworker knew I was in a somewhat happy relationship. Yes I know I don't deserve my gf and yes I know she has a right to know. I'm telling her today when I see her. If she leaves me I truly will be hurt, but it will be nothing compared to what I put her through. I'm sorry I didn't clarify or state most of this in the original post but it is the truth

[michelle23]

It still doesnt excuse what you did. I hope you learn from this. There is no excuse for cheating. If ur not happy in a relationship-leave first before you sleep with someone else. Yes ur co-worker is prob a manipulative snake but u cud have said this is inappropriate and asked her to leave. This was probably all a game to her-shes probably jealous and you left her win.