I cheated...

[michelle23]

Also please learn that you do not need to sleep with a certain number of girls before your ready for something serious. If your lucky enough to meet someone you love and who makes you happy, that should be enough. If you want to be some sort of "stud" thats a sign of insecurity. Im not saying thats what you want. Obviously i cant read your mind but you traded in a special girl who has done nothing but love and support you especially when you were going through a tough time after your mum dies. And u swapped all that for a shag..

[bleucandle]

Geez, welllllllllllllllllllllllllllll, it's a little late to close the gates, you done let the horses out already. You need to make a choice; and no one here can give you that. The letter "R" has been brought to you today, by the makers of DECISIONs, and it stands for "Responsibility"

You, my friend, have a decision to make, and you know what that is. Anyone who reads this short tale, can clearly see that you knew what you were doing, you even took her down the hall to the room, your room; and your relationship flashed before your eyes, but it didnt flash before your ding-a-ling.

You wanted that piece of ass that she "wanted" you to have.

Now if your relationship is that boring, what are you going to do now? You've grazed in another pasture, the grass tasted and probably smelled good, right?

Let me say this, the first time a person cheats, is always the hardest; but it's gets easier each time? So are you really NOT going to do it again, since what she doesnt know won't hurt her? It's not about her now, it's about your moral compass.

[michelle23]

I hope you are trying to hint that he should not do this again bluecandle and not that the next time hell feel less guilty so that makes it ok

[bleucandle]

I'm saying he's got to learn how moral compasses work. Certainly not endorsing what he did, but at the same time we live and we learn.

[fearoflove]

The relationship was dead before you cheated. Telling her this and ending this relationship is the right thing to do. Even if she is willing to forgive you, there is no point continuing with it. Go and experience other women.

[bcgirl]

Look I made a poor decision. My judgement was impaired at the time. I never set out to actually sleep with the other girl (its against work policy) and this was like my first real relationship. I was a virgin when I met my gf a year ago... and of course I wore I rubber with my coworker. And look I never wanted to hurt my gf I honestly do love her (or at least I think I do) which is good enough for me. I will tell her about what happened, and honestly I hope she does leave me because she deserves better. She's done nothing else but be a loving and supporting gf and I mucked everything up. And to everyone calling me a douchebag, scumbag, inconsiderate asshole and such, your so right. But cheating isn't just one person, my coworker knew I was in a somewhat happy relationship. Yes I know I don't deserve my gf and yes I know she has a right to know. I'm telling her today when I see her. If she leaves me I truly will be hurt, but it will be nothing compared to what I put her through. I'm sorry I didn't clarify or state most of this in the original post but it is the truth

You stated that your one year relationship all flashed before your eyes when you were with your co-worker before you had sex with her. Meaning you knew exactly what the consequences of your actions would entail but went along and had sex anyways. You used a rubber.... Jeez, that doesn't make things better. Your judgement wasn't that impaired to pull out a condom and wrap up your dong. It is not anyone's fault but your own. Your co-worker is not to blame. She is a single, horny whore. You are a horny pig who is in a supposedly loving monogamous relationship....big difference so don't be blaming her that you couldn't hold your dick in your pants.

[bleucandle]

I dont think you're anything but human, but you probably want to put a tune-up on your moral compass, is all that I see. Name calling isn't the way to go when people open up about the wrong they do. And even still though, you knew what your were doing; just as people who drive drunk know what they're doing.

You got your rocks off, released a little pressure in the pipes, probably even had a cigarette. You live and you learn, but you never forget the things you affect.
You can only practice better judgment..you're human, you're going to f-ck up. When and where is a matter of proximity to the given opportunity, if it will occur.

[Beenthere]

Look everyone knows what happened.. you knew it was going to happen when you were snuggling on the sofa...(even that is crossing the line).. and you completed one last 'do I care check' before going for it. If you ended up with sleepless nights.. feeling sick about what you did.. it could be a one off mistake.. and everyone here would be sounding perhaps a little easier on you. But lets face it.. you dont give a crap and are just wrestling with the idea.. 'Am I a pratt?' or is it the 'strains of our monotunous relationship?'.

You shouldnt have written on the site.. because all it was a recap of how you got layed and didnt really care enough to decide that you would never do it again. Good luck to your ex GF.

[michelle23]

Stop making it sound like it was "just a mistake" bleucandle. You cant call this a mistake. It was a very clear decision that he made. He should have said no you cant stay here, were not going to cuddle up and have an intimate chat, please dont take off your clothes, i have a gf so im not going to put a condom on. He had loads of opportunities to put a stop to it but he didnt. Any person in a relationship with any bit of integrity would not allow themselves to be left alone with someone who is clearly interested.

I just feel sorry for his gf. At least now she can go and find herself a man though and not a little insecure boy

[bleucandle]

First of all, we can argue semantics all day....a mistake, a screw up, a blunder. The point being here is, we all know what he did. If you feel I'm downgrading his behavior to a simple "mistake", that's your own impression. Cheating is cheating, but why beat up on him, he knows what he did was wrong, all he's doing is trying to find his own salvation; which is my impression, and in the process he's learning something about people, himself and life.

All of the "Jerry Springer" reactions from some of you, don't net any advice for him.

[Katrina4114]

Better don't tell her.You'll only hurt her. if you really regretted it you will not doing it again.

[michelle23]

When he came onto this site he made it clear that he had no intention of telling the truth. He also never expressed any guit and described the whole thing like some sort of erotic fantasy. We are trying to get him to see the error of his ways and i really do hope he learns from this.

[bleucandle]

Michelle23:

So, you think he was actually bragging about his conquest? Well, that sure does paint a different picture of what I've read then. Thanks for the insight, friend

[jsilencio]

First of all, we can argue semantics all day....a mistake, a screw up, a blunder. The point being here is, we all know what he did. If you feel I'm downgrading his behavior to a simple "mistake", that's your own impression. Cheating is cheating, but why beat up on him, he knows what he did was wrong, all he's doing is trying to find his own salvation; which is my impression, and in the process he's learning something about people, himself and life.

All of the "Jerry Springer" reactions from some of you, don't net any advice for him.

Thank you bleucandle you summed it up in a nutshell. My gf will know shortly..

[ashley89]

it's good that you're telling her, I know I personally wouldn't be able to keep something like that a secret from someone I was in a serious relationship with. if she decides to forgive you and move past it that's great, but things will most likely go pretty badly, and rightfully so. I hope you learned your lesson and don't do this again in the future cause it's not right