Sudden break up yesterday. Sad and confused.

[v_dude]

As I said, you won't get "closure" by contacting her again about the break up. You shouldn't have sent that email. Now whether she replies or not (hopefully for both of you she won't), you should stop contacting her and move on. You are the only one who can give yourself closure.

Why I shouldn't have sent the email? When we talked the night before, I asked for her photo, she replied "but I don't have a photo of you", so I suggested lets exchange them! I did that before with other girls too - always nice to have a photo of someone you liked.

No reply yet. Why do you hope she doesn't reply? I'd think that is a bit disrespectful of her, no? She did say "I want to know how you are doing, dont dissappear off the face of the earth" more than once (this time and the previous time we met).

If I don't contact her for a long time, say a month at least, she might resurface anyway. Life is a cycle. Who knows, we actually might hang out as friends in the future, or whatever. She'd be a useful contact if/when I go to her country for a holiday. About moving on - sure, I already set provisional dates with a couple of girls next week, but her memory will still linger...

[searock]

Why I shouldn't have sent the email? When we talked the night before, I asked for her photo, she replied "but I don't have a photo of you", so I suggested lets exchange them! I did that before with other girls too - always nice to have a photo of someone you liked.

If all you said in the email was "here's a photo of me, could you send me a photo of you?", then I guess it's OK - even though I think it would have been best to just let it go and not contact her again until you had entirely moved on and had no feelings for her anymore (romantic feelings). I just hope you didn't bring up the break up in your email, because that would/will NOT bring you closure. If anything, talking about your ex relationship ad nauseam is just going to make her grow frustrated and resentful towards you, eventually she's going to start blocking you off completely, and it's going to make you keep thinking about her, while you should be moving on instead.

In other words, it's cool to be "friends" ("friendly acquaintances" is more accurate) with exes, as long as neither of you has feelings for each other anymore. Right now, you still have feelings for her, so it's best if you don't keep in contact. Just take the time to heal and move on, then, if you still think it's worth it, you can contact her again as "friends".

I think it's great that you're already going to go on dates with other girls by the way, it shows a good attitude: if you keep on the right track you'll be able to heal effectively.

[v_dude]

So she sent her pic too. Again she keep saying that she hopes to see again in the future. Surely deep inside she understands that if we meet alone again, I will be tempted to make my move again? She is not that naive to expect me to lose sexual/romantic interest in her.

A question to the guys who replied in this thread. I realise that I lost my strong frame with her. I went back almost immediately on my initial words (we won't meet again on friendly terms). And she lost her attraction for me. So is it possible to regain this strong frame in the future - dropping all the contact with her for a month, or more, then restarting from scratch again?

[vmartin143]

I recently got my heart broken, I heard about this new show that helps you get over your ex and answer questions (exandwhycasting.com)
I am thinking about applying, what do you think?