Girlfriend wants a threesome

[michelle23]

I kinda get his point. Im not saying people who dont have a good male and female role model always turn out bad or anything like that but it does help to have both a good mother and father in your life.

Two of my cousins grew up without their dad and they both have awful taste in men, they are both attracted to drama and are both quite attention seeking. Im not saying its the same in every situation-I know its not but I do get what he is saying.

OP can you elaborate on why you feel she may be "slutty". Is this something that bothered you from day one or is it recent because of your conversation

To add: I think it is disrespectful for her to say things like that about other guys to you. Theres nothing wrong with finding other people attractive but pointing it out like that would make most people feel a little insecure.

[Wakeup]

We alll "get what he's saying" but he's not given us one example of why he thinks she's "slutty" or why he thinks his gf's mother was less then a good role model.. Letting her stay over at her friends homes when she was 16 is not an example of a piss poor upbringing.

[Wakeup]

It wasn't like it was just something she said flippantly the way she said it I could tell she actually had thought about it. We had the conversation about holidays and then threesomes. Then about 5 minutes later was when she said about the threesome. So she had obviously been thinking about it that five minutes or so.

Sorry I was just trying to elaborate further on why I think she has the ideas of threesomes etc in her head I don't mean to sound sexist at all. She is 18 at the moment so I just feel that some of the things she does are inappropriate. Like we might be walking in a shopping center and she would come out with something like "Oh wow he is so hot" it just makes me feel like I'm not good enough.

Maybe your right maybe I am looking for a reason subconsciously. I just don't like the idea at all of her having sex with another guy or the thought of her thinking about it

She's 18 and obviously rather immature in her relating. I suspect you are as well.. immature in your ability to communicate that is. How old are you? ... and ... Have you actually talked to her about you not wanting to know who she thinks is and isn't "hot?" Just because we're are in relationships it doesn't mean we stop finding others attractive. She just needs to know that you are not interested in who she does or does not. for that matter, think is "do-able"

Goodness either you don't care about her, so break up with her or you do care for her (like you said you do) so you communicate what is and what is not acceptable to you. It's not rocket science. If after you've communicated and she still continues to do things you don't like, then give her the air.

[conkbabes]

I kinda get his point. Im not saying people who dont have a good male and female role model always turn out bad or anything like that but it does help to have both a good mother and father in your life.

Two of my cousins grew up without their dad and they both have awful taste in men, they are both attracted to drama and are both quite attention seeking. Im not saying its the same in every situation-I know its not but I do get what he is saying.

OP can you elaborate on why you feel she may be "slutty". Is this something that bothered you from day one or is it recent because of your conversation

To add: I think it is disrespectful for her to say things like that about other guys to you. Theres nothing wrong with finding other people attractive but pointing it out like that would make most people feel a little insecure.

Yeah that's exactly what she can be like, like attention seeking. I've told her before I don't like it. She might wear like really revealing clothes and she knows that guys are looking she once said to me "Baby I'm a dick magnet". Not things a boyfriend wants to hear!

She did say it in a jokey way but it's just all these little things that have built up over the last year or so.

Oh no I know she will find other people attractive I know I do too, but I'd never ever say in front of her like oh she is hot. I'd only ever think it in my head or say it in front of my best friends.

It wasn't friends houses it was boyfriends houses. She told me how she pretty much "did as she pleased".

I'm 20, 21 next month. Part of me worries that she maybe needs to get it out her system if that makes sense.

Like I've slept with 15 girls since the age of 16. I'm at the point now where I'm really happy with her and have absolutely zero desire to be with anyone else but her. I'm ready for a serious relationship.
Like when I first met her she seemed so innocent and I just worry that as she gets more comfortable round me she is showing me what she really is like.

[michelle23]

So what are you going to do. It seems as though you do not trust her.

[conkbabes]

I'll admit I have trust issues anyway. My last girlfriend cheated on me so I do feel really insecure. It doesn't help the fact when she says other guys are hot.
It's hard because sometimes everything is perfect. Like we had a quiet night in recently and I thought I'd try be romantic and I littered rose petals and candles all round the hot tub and it was great, everything was absolutely perfect.
Then next thing something like this happens and I have all these doubts. I thought it was just me being silly but I posted on a few pages and most people can see where I'm coming from.

[michelle23]

Even though their are only 2-3 years between you-I think there is a big difference in the emotional and mental maturity between an 18 year old and a 21 year old. If you are crazy about her though and everything is mostly great-you should try to work at it and just tell her how that makes you feel and ask her not to do that in future.

I know what girls are like at that age and they say things just to get a reaction sometimes. Try not to let it get to you

[Wakeup]

I thought it was just me being silly but I posted on a few pages and most people can see where I'm coming from.

Then why keep asking? Do what you have to do and break up with her. You might want to take your time being single by working on your trust issues and learning how to communicate your expectations from someone you're in a relationship with and what you don't find acceptable. You're currently punishing her for what you're last gf did to you and that's hardly fair to her or any other women in your future if you're going to judge them on what the last one did.

Good luck, hope you get yourself settled.

[surfhb2]

Any GF of mine who proclaimed herself a "dick magnet" would have her ass booted to the curb. That's just disrespectful IMO.....and I'm very open minded.

Everything else she has done doesn't seem so much a big deal.....that that statement says a lot about the kind of person she is

[searock]

So you think your gf is "slutty" because she fantasizes about threesomes and notices other hot guys? Wow... you do sound judgmental and sexist.

My boyfriend and I sometimes joke about how other people are hot and if they notice us we joke on how hot *we* are, but it's all as a joke, we know that we love each other and would never cheat on each other, it's just fun to poke fun at one another and I think it's awesome that we can comment on other hot guys/girls without anyone getting seriously offended. It seems that there is no trust between you (you certainly don't trust her), and most importantly there is no functioning communication between you two, otherwise you would understand each other perfectly.

Bottom line: you are a judgmental prick, she's immature, you two are incompatible due to lack of effective communication and different values.

I think you should break up and find someone closer to your idealized Madonna figure.

[conkbabes]

So you think your gf is "slutty" because she fantasizes about threesomes and notices other hot guys? Wow... you do sound judgmental and sexist.

My boyfriend and I sometimes joke about how other people are hot and if they notice us we joke on how hot *we* are, but it's all as a joke, we know that we love each other and would never cheat on each other, it's just fun to poke fun at one another and I think it's awesome that we can comment on other hot guys/girls without anyone getting seriously offended. It seems that there is no trust between you (you certainly don't trust her), and most importantly there is no functioning communication between you two, otherwise you would understand each other perfectly.



Bottom line: you are a judgmental prick, she's immature, you two are incompatible due to lack of effective communication and different values.

I think you should break up and find someone closer to your idealized Madonna figure.

Wow didn't expect to be called a prick. I was just looking for some advice I thought that this is the whole point in this forum

[surfhb2]

I think that was the advice

[Wakeup]

Any GF of mine who proclaimed herself a "dick magnet" would have her ass booted to the curb. That's just disrespectful IMO.....and I'm very open minded.

O.o

Everything else she has done doesn't seem so much a big deal.....that that statement says a lot about the kind of person she is

Oh? And what kind of person does that statement say about her, Surf?

[michelle23]

ignore the harsh comments OP. your not an awful person. i save that treatment for cheaters and people who are just plain stupid

i just think you should try to communicate with her better in future and dont take everything she says literally

[Wakeup]

Don't ignore them completely, Op because your comments say alot about you, never mind what your gf's comments say about her.