Hello Everyone,
I have a situation I need some input on. I'll try to keep it as short and sweet as possible. I work with women I asked out last year. She declined because she said she had a boyfriend. Since then we've begun talking, things have escalated to the point we both seem to like each other a lot and actually discuss it openly. Today she lowered the hammer and said it had to stop. She's in love with her boyfriend and she needs to stop the inappropriate parts of our friendship. She said it was a very difficult thing to do but it had to be done. She told me she cried about it last night, she was a wreck today and come to find out, cried about it tonight.
Of course, she wants to remain friends. I told her I didn't think I could do that without maintaining some level of hope and likely still having strong feelings for her. I told her if we see each other, I cannot turn off my feelings. She said she understood.
Tonight, she's texting me like mad again. I had asked her if she wanted to go out on my boat this Friday (I asked over the weekend before this mornings clarification of limits was set) and she more or less brushed it off. Probably because she had already decided she was going to say what she had to say this morning.
Now... we're going out for lunch, again, this Thursday, getting frozen yogurt and she wants another offer to go out on the boat next time the weather is nice. She said she would this week but her boss is out and she cant take the day. I commented "I figured this would be off the table now" and her response was "friends can go out on a boat... cant they??"
Well yes, but not when BOTH of them have strong feelings for one another... in an isolated environment... on a boat... all day... alone. Is it me or is she second guessing her decision and wanting to feel things out further without being honest to me or herself about it? What's the thinking here? She cant just turn it off. I know Thursday, whether we discuss anything or not, is going to be emotionally challenging for both of us. Why would she immediately recommend we do this?
I'm 32, she's 26. What do you all think? She's told me she's confused, torn, etc. But I assumed after this morning, final meant final. Maybe all hope is not lost?
Two other things... while trying to make plans for Thursday she asked me if "this was ok?" and "are you able to do this"? I know I can't turn it off and I have doubts she can too. Also, I told her this morning I thought I was falling in love with her and explain why and how I came to that conclusion. She said what I told her made her feel light headed. So she should really know this isn't something I can just walk away from and make believe never happened.
Thanks for the input.
C/C