hey everyone im new to this forum! what's about to follow might be a long post... so i really appreciate it if people read it and help me out, and hopefully wont be judgmental.
my boyfriend and i have been together for over a year. and we have been sharing an apt for maybe 8 months now. we met at work, his familys resto, which closed 3 months ago. for the most part we get along well and are communicative. we're silly with each other and i can be myself. hes 22 im 20.
since his fams restaurant closed down he's been gaming a lot. he doesnt like the idea of getting a job, and having to dedicate his hours to someone... he likes having free time. currently his sources of income are collecting employment insurance and cutting grass/landscaping 2 times a week (which is still too much for him). so for the past 2-3 months, since his fams resto closed down, ive become irritated and turned off by his sense of entitlement and laziness. like when i have to bring up cleaning even in the nicest way he'll get annoyed like im sucking the fun out of him, or act as if he doesnt have enough time for it, when in reality he has 5/7 days free. he spends most of his time gaming and he never really gamed much before the restaurant closed down. i think he doesnt have a strong sense of responsibility, and as much as i hope he;ll grow out of gaming and laziness, it feels tiring to have to "kindly" talk to him like a child, as if im his mom. thats another reason why ive been turned off lately. like we still have great sex and all but im so bored and tired of watching him at his computer whenever we're both home. he encourages that i play with him and when i dont feel like it he gets a little bummed and says i dont wanna spend time with him, when in reality i do, but i just dont want to play ****ing world of warcraft.
his long term goal is to become an investor, and build wealth. we've attended seminars, and have seminars coming up, but at home he's procrastinating hard on it (studying) and i feel like he is all talk with nothing to show for when it comes to this. might i mention that he smokes a lot of pot and i have no doubt that it keeps him unmotivated and lazy. but i cant bring up his pot addiction, an addiction he acknowledges, without him getting annoyed. i guess i cant help him with that if he genuinely wants to smoke.
lately i just feel distant. like to the point where im just more focused on myself. and it scares me to think about what might happen in months to come. he doesnt feel like there is anything wrong with this situation, but for me, it's all been a big turn off esp since we dont do anything else together. i like doing errands and he usually does them with me, but for him it feels like a drag. of course hed rather be gaming at home. i love him still, we have been through a lot together, but i wonder if his attitude will ever change. i have talked to him about his attitude before in a communicative way, seeing how unhappy he gets for every little thing he doesnt want to do, and he acknowledges it but doesnt know what to do. i dont know what to do either. i think if he got a steady job even if its part time, he'll have a little more structure and game all the time. before when we worked together, instead of gaming at home we'd watch tv shows or movies together. or go out if we had $. now he's always "tired" whenever i ask him to go out with me. ugh.
what can i do, if i want this relationship to work? aside from his laziness he is really a loving and caring boyfriend. he hasnt done wrong by me. im just getting irritated and saddened by these character flaws that have flared up in the past couple months. is there any chance that he could be depressed, or has he just been spoiled from having lived with his mom before we moved out in regards to the laziness, and self entitlement?