Need ur valuable advice. Have I still got a chance or have I screwed up?

[jonjon77]

So ive found myself here seeking some advice. I hooked up with this girl 6 months ago at a club and that was it. A lot of guys were dancing around her and trying her luck but as soon as I came past, we danced and hooked up within minutes. We were both drunk though. Anyway we haven't had any contact but I have seen her around twice since from the 1st-4th of June and I caught her looking at me a few times and when I walked past her, she just smiled and walked straight past me.

Anyway I came across this girl on the 5th of June at another club again and I didn't want to let this chance slip up again and we danced and held hands all night. I asked for her number at the end of the night before she left and she gave me it. She texted me immediately within 20 minutes and told me to be good for the rest of the night and she also told me to message her when I got home so that she knew I was safe. I found that very cute. Anyway we began speaking via text messages (very long ones too) and kept sending each otehr about 2 long text messages a day every day until the 12th of June. I sent the last text message and haven't heard back from her since. I don't know if I screwed up anywhere or not so that is why I am here seeking advice as to why she may not have replied to my last messages. What am I thinking?
- Have I scared her off? Our conversations were running smoothly until she asked me when my last relationship was. Both our last relationships were in 2010. I told her 2010 and then I proceeded to tell her why I haven't been in a relationship since and honestly I talked myself up to sound like the perfect boyfriend. I have a rough side to me though and she knows that and she also said a day before that I can be cute when I want to be. But I hope I haven't scared her by talking myself up even though I never proclaimed to her that I am interested in her although after she asked me what i had planned for the weekend, I told her ill be having a quiet one this weekend because I am sick but I hope we can catch up once i get better and she said that would be a good idea but I first needed to focus on getting better.
- Do I look too clingy? We both (key word is both) have been sending each other 2 really long text messages every day for 6 days..... I sent her the last message and she hasn't replied so I haven't bothered texting her since even though its been 4 days..... But does sending really long text messages make me look clingy even though she replies with long text messages back?
- Is she just playing hard to get because she is such a beautiful girl.
- How I think she sees me? I know she finds me cute as she was pinching my cheeks a few times throughout the night and kept calling me cute.... She wasn't even drunk this night whereas I was.... The fact she told me to message her when i got home so that she knew I was safe (because I can be a little rough) made thinsg cute.... She knows ive got a bit of roughness to me but she also knows that I can be good when I wanna be.... But that roughness translate into violence when someone really gets me mad but I dont hit girls. She also sees me as quite intelligent with a good job.... But I also think that relationship talk about past partners and why I haven't got a partner might have turned her off as I was telling her I don't date anyone for the sake of dating and I must have some sort of attraction to them in order to be able to date them etc etc... So in essence, it sounded like id make the perfect boyfriend without mentioning any affection towards her and im scared that may have turned her off.... But otherwise, looks wise I think she is attracted to me....

What do I do? Or do you think I have already screwed up and there is no chance of her speaking to me again?
Do you think she will message me back? Or do you think she is testing me out by playing hard to get and wants me to message her back? But if I do scumble and message her back, would that make me look needy after 4 days? Should I wait longer before messaging her back?
Should I just send her a cheeky joke later on in the week about a personal joke we have going on in the hope that we can start speaking again but this time keeping away from any past relationship talk and instead sending shorter messages too?
Or should I wait until I just her randomly at a club again and then start talking back with her and telling her how ive been busy and all and haven't had a chance to communicate with her? (Good chance I will see her in a months time again).

The reason why I believe I may have screwed up is because I havent recieved a text message from her in 4 days. I know she had work over the weekend but that is no excuse, she has messaged me before when she had work too so ????? is what I am thinking atm.

I will keep you updated on developments if anything happens and thank you for your advice.

[Diaccio]

i think you should write another brief message asking her if anything happened...if she doesn't want to reply she won't do it again and you will have your answer!

[xrobotlove]

Text her. The text courting game can be difficult to know the rules and boundaries, but after four days just text her. Don't mention your last conversation. Sometimes for an excuse to text someone, for example lets Say we talked about how we both love footloose, I've said things like "guess what movie was just playing on TV? Footloose! Keep it light and try to keep the convo going by asking her questions and also joking around. When things feel smooth again you should tell her how you feel as soon as you can. Some girls figure a guy isn't into her if he doesn't pursue or express his desire.

[michelle23]

why are you acting as if you are not interested in her? Girls expect men to be more aggressive-you should have asked her out on a proper date a week ago. Text her tonight, cut the crap and just ask her out. Give specific plans example; hey are you doing anything friday night? id love to take you out for dinner if your free.. can i pick you up at 7

[jonjon77]

why are you acting as if you are not interested in her? Girls expect men to be more aggressive-you should have asked her out on a proper date a week ago. Text her tonight, cut the crap and just ask her out. Give specific plans example; hey are you doing anything friday night? id love to take you out for dinner if your free.. can i pick you up at 7

Thanks for the replies. Maybe thats why she hasn't replied to me, maybe she got upset when I told her I was going to have a quiet one when she asked what I had got planned for the weekend.

Can I ask though does it sound as though I have come to clingy? I think it is a good idea to text her, I just don't want to sound too needy or clingy, if you know what I mean. I will def ask her out for dinner though.

[michelle23]

If I was interested in a guy then I would be delighted he is making the effort to text me everyday and I wouldn't find that clingy at all.

[jonjon77]

If I was interested in a guy then I would be delighted he is making the effort to text me everyday and I wouldn't find that clingy at all.

Yes, true. But on the contrast, if she was interested in me, why doesn't she send me a message?

[jonjon77]

anyone else got any advice? Would love to hear other peoples opinions based on experiences or knowledge. Thanks

[VerticalMoon]

I don't think you would have seemed clingy to her because she was behaving the same way. If she thought it was too much, she wouldn't be doing the same in return. I also don't think she's playing hard to get because it's an abrupt change. Usually women who like to play hard to get do so from the very beginning. They don't act really interested early on and then suddenly disappear. It sounds like she may have just lost interest. I'd send out one more message to see if you get a reply. But if you don't, then I'd move on.

[searock]

I also think you should text her. Ask her out on a proper date.

[jonjon77]

thank you for all of the replies. so i ended up texting her 2 hours ago just asking her how she is and what she has been up to along with a funny situation that happened to me. She laughed very hard at what i wrote and then told me she was very busy (over the days she didnt reply to me) and had to work longer hours. Her response was longer than my initial text message. As soon as I sent my message, i got a reply within 10 minutes. She usually takes many, many hours to reply but this time she replied very quickly which makes me think whether or not it was from the fact that we haven't spoken in days and I texted her and she wanted to seize this opportunity and reply straight away in case she has been thinking why havent i been texting her. What do you guys think about these latest developments? What can you say about her based on her behavior? I will def ask to catch up in a few days time. thank you for allt he replies once again

[jonjon77]

I followed your advice and it mostly worked. We had been talking every day since to this day. However, I have some questions that need I still don't get.
1. I asked her on a date and we went to a restaurant a week ago. Towards the end of our date, she got up (i was assuming she needed to go to the bathroom) and she paid for the bill. This is the first time that this has ever happened to me. Why did she pay for? After we left the restaurant, she grabbed my hand and she kissed me.
2. Last night we spoke via SMS on how we were both going to go out somewhere local just to chill. I didn't specify where I would be and neitehr did she. She knows where I go when I say local though and somehow she turned up at the place. She texted to tell me that she was at Club Seven and I replied back that I was there too. 15 minutes later we found each other and we kissed on the cheek, spoke a little and then she grabbed my hand and she took me for a dance. Some guys were trying to hit on her friend and so she told me she had to go help her out and said will i be at the same place as I was earlier and I said yes. 2 minutes later whilst outside, she came out with her friend and we spoke a little. Then she had to leave and that was it for the night. Today we spoke a little and she had to do nightwork however theywere thinking about cutting her shift and considering it was a Saturday night, I texted her and asked if she wanted to catch up if she wasn't busy because I didn't want her to have a waste of a Saturday night. It is well in the morning her now and I still haven't received a reply from her so I was assuming she didnt want to catch up but now im thinking did i overdo it with the text message and do I seem desperate to her. I probably shouldn't have sent the text but I was trying to be sweet and now im worried if seeing me 2 nights in a row (although the last one was unplanned) might have scared her off a little?
3. She calls me cute and "the sweetest person she knows". Is this automatically a bad thing? Calling me the sweetest person she knows, im not sure if that is more a good friend type of comment or more like he would make a good bf.
4. I also saw her 4 days ago randomly at a restaurant and her friends (we know each other but not well) were there speaking to a few people I knew and as soon as they saw me, they brought her over. She said hi and we had a little chat. Her friends were nodding at me in a way to say go for her, and they even told her to stay behind with me and id take her home but I wasnt the designated driver and we had a full car so i said go with ur friends and I think she wasnt too keen on leaving without her friends so she left. But the fact that her friends know about me and the fact that they were nodding at me to have a crack at her suggests that she has told them about me already and it seems like her friends have good impressions of me. What do you think?

Thank you for all your advice you relationship gurus.

[jonjon77]

5. I also forgot to add that she found me on facebook and added me. She also sent me a msg and I had not replied back for almost 24 hours and I saw she had put up a status 40 minutes prior to her also liking one of my photos. She must have been stalking me on facebook. Does this say much?

It seems like she does like me but I don't know if i stuffed up by sending her that text message because now it may seem like im easy, or needy, or too clingy. What do you guys think?

[anonymous_a]

It definitely seems like she's interested, but based on what you've told so far, it seems like she's very social and good looking. If that's the case then she may be trying to play the game a little before getting serious with you. She may be trying to keep her options open. But you are doing good so far lol. I've seen myself in and around these types of situations many times. Just keep doing what you're doing, be cute, plan dates, do fun things together, and you'll soon get the hint when she either a) wants to start getting serious or b) decides she's not that into you lol. She may not be looking for anything serious either, which if that is the case, you guys should talk about it (not yet, but probably after another couple dates).

As far as the payment for the mean, she may just be trying to impress you.

Don't worry about acting too clingy, she's seems to be reciprocating your behavior.

[namemyname]

First off, having violent tendencies doesn't make you the "ideal boyfriend". It makes you someone with anger issues and impulse problems.

Second, what does "hooking up" mean? You were screwing her within minutes of meeting on the dance floor? Whaaat?

Thirdly, she stops texting when she is busy with another dude. You said you ran into her again two months ago, and didn't want to "blow your chance", yet 2 months later, you still didn't ask her out.

She sees you as a text buddy, and nothing more. And no, her friends don't see you as some wonderman either. lol

For a guy with no game, you sure are hip on yourself.