I am a 51 year old man. she is a 49 year old women. We have been married 30 years. Two years ago I found her having an emotional affair with a man in Europe. It was the typical "my soul mate, I love you, I don't love my husband..etc.." I confronted her, we talked, she apologised and we got past it. (or so I thought) Fast forward to the fall of last year. We went on a month vacation down south but she was really with drawn and seemed to always be angry. I was always walking on eggshells afraid to do anything to trip her off. She spent a lot of time on her laptop playing online gaming. We came home from our trip and she continued to play these games and then stated she wanted to take a trip back down south with one of her girlfriends. I was a little apprehensive about this but not wanting to live a life of mistrust and suspicion I agreed and off she went. Two days later I found out she went south to meet another male friend from Europe. I confronted her and she cut the trip short and came home. We’ve talked, she claims nothing happened, you know "we are just friends" speech. We talked and she can not tell me why she did it. I went to counselling, she refused. It has been 6 months since this happened. She has become a cold, distant person who does not want sex or shows no affection other than the 'I love you" at the end of a phone call. She does not want me touching her.
I have attempted many, many times to get her to talk to me about what is going on, she claims there is nothing wrong and she does not know what is happening to her. She is going through menopause and attributes her lack of desire and mood change on this. She continues to play online and is adamant that she is no longer chatting.
I work two jobs, she is retired. We have a comfortable life and she can have anything she wants. I tell her she is beautiful every day and that I love her. I leave little notes to try and try to brighten her day regularly but it seems I am the one who is expending all the effort trying to get this back on track.
I m emotionally, mentally exhausted and am at the end of my rope with this. I love her dearly but I feel like I am fighting a losing battle with her.
J