Would it be right to have a baby together ??

[hoho-hoho]

Hi I have two marriages and had one child with each of them. I will turn 50 in Dec. I am now divorce and I got a boyfriend since April. He is 48 and has never been married and no children. He is secure with his own property and has a job. I do have my own property too. my kids are boys 21 yrs and 10 yrs old living with me. The 21 is living away. We got on really well and WE are both in love with each other. I did asked him on our second meeting if he wanted any children, he answered "if he meet the right person". But I am turning 50 in a couple of months and I don't really want any more. Since then, he continue stating that he do not want any children and never wanted any and don't know why he would have said he will if he met the right person. We has always use a condom but recently a couple of times he did not. I am a bit worried what if I got pregnant as I have been to the doctor and discover I am in the process of menopause but I could still have children at this stage. On a few of our conversation, I can tell that if I do get pregnant, he would love to have it. I recently think of getting the progesterone injection so I do not have to worry about getting pregnant again but on the other hand I found someone so perfect in my eyes and loves me to death!! so he says and his actions shows. So should I go ahead to please him and is it great to still have children at 50 when I feel like I just got my freedom back!! And loving it. But I do not want to make him feel like he is incomplete if he ended up with me and not have children in his life and has it on his mind. Would a man think so?? to prove his manlihood to be a real man?! How would I really know that he really mean it that he would be happy with me without children together? Would a relationship be more meaningful an flourish / lasting with children together? Would you guys think your children is someone that was the best relationship you had and not your partner? Having a child at least makes your life a more meaningful person in this world. or xo

[namemyname]

You're not getting pregnant at 50, hon. lol

As for him...if he really wanted kids, he would have had them by now. 48? People are becoming grandparents. He's just saying that to feel less strange, but it's not a priority for him, and not an option for you.

Just enjoy each other. Travel, get a dog...lol

[hoho-hoho]

You're not getting pregnant at 50, hon. lol

As for him...if he really wanted kids, he would have had them by now. 48? People are becoming grandparents. He's just saying that to feel less strange, but it's not a priority for him, and not an option for you.

Just enjoy each other. Travel, get a dog...lol

Actually you are so damn right. That is probably what he always has been saying. He actually is looking for an apartment near the beach to enjoy life than to have babies !!!!! Thanks you're a darling xo

[surfhb2]

If you can afford it and dont fear for your life since you could die then go for it! Also note that the child could have complication too. I hope you can cope with the guilt if your new kid is mentality ill just because your dumb ass wants to feel " complete" by having another child.

Listen up kids! The OP proves that even 50 year old adults never do grow up

[hoho-hoho]

But by saying that, he never had a relationship for a long time. The last relationship he has was only 5 and a half month and he has only kiss her cheeks once!!! He claims that it is a relationship because he try to make it a long term one that is why he hang on for so long but in the end, he realise it is not worth after all. And that was over 2 years ago. Then the other was about 9 years ago at least and in between he has a one night stand and I don't know what else. He seem to tell me a little here and there but he has no full on relationship since he long one for 3 years which he was so unhappy with that may have scare him off to a full time relationship. He said he was happy by himself and do not need anyone to make him happy like a lot of other guys. So he is unique, every man claims they are different, I realise. Oh so great of themselves. Are you a guy or girl commenting?

[hoho-hoho]

Oh surfhb2 you are so right as well. It's quite funny but true!! LOL

[TablesandChairs]

Your chances of becoming pregnant are slim and but more importantly, your risks of having a child with Down's Syndrome or other complications is increased greatly as this age. Ultimately, it's not like he's in his 20s or 30s...he's nearing 50 himself so perhaps it's just too late. Nothing wrong with that, you guys can have a fulfilling life nonetheless. With or without you - unless he was dating a woman in her 20s-30s, then it's unlikely any relationship he had from here on would result in kids.

[Hightower]

You have to ask yourself, can you even have kids at your age? Maybe you can't. My grandmother thought she was going through the "change of life" at 44 and next thing you know out pops my aunt. Whoops. But add a few years and I am sure by 50 she couldn't have kids anymore. Heck, your 21 year old could have his/her own kids soon and you'll be a grandma. Enjoy that time, I say.

[Wakeup]

I got a boyfriend since April.

Then by all means go without condoms, no sense getting to know him to see if he'd even be a good father.

[dem862]

My girlfriend is 44 and had her tubes tied a while ago. We both have grown children. We can't have any more kids, but it is fun to talk about if we could. What is really more valuable and a lot more fun is not having to use those blasted condoms ever again.

[Hightower]

Then by all means go without condoms, no sense getting to know him to see if he'd even be a good father.

To the OP, I have to agree with this statement too. April was 5 months ago. I know you probably don't think you have the time or patience to wait around and see if a guy is good "father material" or not but you also can't just rush into this. You had your time to be young and have children so I really don't get this urgency to be a mother again when you have an adult child.

[hoho-hoho]

No honestly I don't want anymore children. I already been there and done it. I just feel a relationship is more meaningful that one creates a family together. But you all are right, I just need some people out there to give me that push and wake me up instantly to confirm that I really do not need any for whatever your comments are is all good and I do appreciate you all for taking time to write. I feel insecure in a relationship just two of us binding without any children, but then again, you see so many relationships fails because of the stress they takes out of you. And what left is a big baggage, unmentionable and unable to reverse. xo

[toknow]

If you can afford it and dont fear for your life since you could die then go for it! Also note that the child could have complication too. I hope you can cope with the guilt if your new kid is mentality ill just because your dumb ass wants to feel " complete" by having another child.

Listen up kids! The OP proves that even 50 year old adults never do grow up

LOL....You are not very bright are you.

If she really wanted a kid do you think she would care what you have to say about it.

[hoho-hoho]

thanks for your comment toknow, but you must mix me up that I am the guy? but I am the girl. I say he told me don't want any but I am not so sure if he means it or just likes me at this moment and do not wants to lose me therefore because I told him that I am too old to have children and already had 2 myself, I really am too old and don't really want anymore children. But he has not been married before at 48 and not had a real full on relationship for 20 years. Little ones and some short ones but not lived together or up to the point that they are suited to live together etc. Once because he had a bad one since he was 28yr that ended the 3 years scary relationship and that experience had make him a bit worry on having a relationship, so he said. Do you still think I am not so bright? Well, it is easy to say but to fully understand is harder. Somehow I should say I am a little inconfidence in myself when the relationship is only young even though he told me he loves me and in love with me etc. etc. and thinking of moving in together so on. I will feel a lot more confidence in myself if we are living together and having a full time relationship I suppose. hmmmm......

[TablesandChairs]

Hunny, imagine if the relationship didn't work out and you ended up a single parent at 50+. Secondly, he's passed the stage of kids, realistically speaking. If he wanted them so bad, he would have made more effort in his younger years. You've raised your kids so that's a chapter you can close now, regardless of what happens between you and him.

I say - live your life, enjoy your time as a couple. I think you know better than him that kids can add huge strain even when you're young and energetic.