My boyfriend said that he does not love me. What should I do?

[RachelViolet]

I have been dating this guy for a little over six months. We went out last night and I had too much to drink. I ended up asking him a very embarrassing question. I asked, "Do you feel that you love me?" Without hesitation, he said, "No. I don't love you". He then said, "I have some feelings for you, but it's complicated". I got upset and I started crying. He then said, "Would you prefer it if I lied and said that I loved you like most guys would?" We ended up staying up until 1am talking about various things. I asked him if he was just staying in this relationship to sleep with me. He said, "No. If you just wanted sex then I would have left you a long time ago because that's not what I'm looking for". At one point, he started talking about his ex-girlfriend, who he had dated for six years and they have a love-child together. He said that he used to be "madly in love" with this other woman and it just killed me to hear him talk about loving someone else, knowing that he doesn't love me and who knows what he really feels for me (if anything). We're in a long-distance relationship. We live 100 miles apart and we see each other about once a week, which isn't really meeting my needs. I hope that I'm not over-reacting, but I just feel that a six-month relationship with no love does not have a future. I don't know how long it usually takes for people to develop love-like feelings for each other, but I'm afraid to get closer to this guy because he just told me to my face that he does not love me. I don't handle rejection very well at all. I'm very depressed and sad about this. I'm thinking about ending it with him and walking away. What would you do if you were in this situation?

[basilandthyme]

In your situation, I'd end it and walk away. And my next boyfriend would live close enough to meet relationship needs.

[vashti]

I hope that I'm not over-reacting, but I just feel that a six-month relationship with no love does not have a future.

I don't think you are over-reacting. He sounds like he might care about you, but love is not in the picture. If that is what you are looking for, I think you should get out now. The longer you stay, the harder it will be. Besides, you yourself said the distance isn't working for you.

[namemyname]

I'd be very sad, too.

End it, because you're right. If he doesn't love you at 6 months, he's never going to.

Like Basil said - next BF should be close to home.

[Wiggin]

I would think it would be in your best interest to end it now and find someone who you can build a healthy relationship with. Long-distance relationships are really, really difficult - typically they will work only when both are entirely invested in it, and even at that it's a real test. If he is telling you flat-out he doesn't love you, I don't see this going much further.

[TablesandChairs]

As hard as it is to hear, it's nice that he was honest because now you don't have to waste your time. If love isn't there in 6 months, it's just not in the cards. I would thank him for his honesty and explain that you need to find someone who feels the same about you as you do about them.

[Maple1714]

Everyone is right, you need to move on. The sooner and quicker the better. It may be painful right now, but if you drag things out any longer all you will be doing is prolonging your healing...you'll constantly feel rejected by this person. "It's complicated" he tells you...it's never really that complicated. I'm sorry, but good for you for asking and talking about all this with him. There is a BETTER man out there looking for you...go find him

[pcmaster]

Let the song teach you