I stop feeling like I'm not good enough for my girlfriend!

[livingthedream]

Hi everyone!

It's been a whilst since i posted here, but thought it would be nice to check in again.

Anyways, basically at the moment I'm dealing with some serious self-doubt.

I've been with my girl for nearly a year and a half now.

When we first got together, we were both uni students, and life was so simple.

However she graduated from uni last year, and started a job in her career at the start of this year (she works for a luxury travel company - and consequentially will begin to get free trips over seas soon, after she finishes her first year there).

I, on the other hand, am still a uni student, and will be for at least another year or two. However, I have recently changed to part time study so that I can work 4 days a week (which, admittedly, I took up so that I would have a decent income to be able to treat my girlfriend and do nice things with her).

We have been in love for a while now (that is to say, we have expressed (shown, told verbally etc.) it to each other and have been doing so for a while now).

However, as well as her job which will allow her to travel a lot, she has recently landed a sweet job doing marketing for a photography company that does all the big music festivals around Australia, and potentially some overseas.

Furthermore, whilst she has always been pretty, she has also been a little overweight. But she has recently started with a personal trainer, and is losing weight. Thus I can't help but feel that soon she going to be absolutely stunning, and naturally loads of other guys are gonna start to hit on her, and I fear that, in that case, it's only a matter of time before she accepts one of the invites from the "better man".

So now, as a result of this, I cannot for the life of me stop feeling inadequate. Precisely, I just don't feel like I'm good enough for her, nor do I feel like I can provide her with the exciting relationship she deserves - I'm a part time uni student that works 4 days a week in an office and drives a shitty old beaten up car.

I just can't shake this thought from my head that it's only a matter of time before she meets someone better, someone with an equally exciting life - being able to travel regularly, some sort of cool-guy who works behind the scenes of some cool music festival - sweeps her up and away from me. And whilst I understand this is just the way life goes sometimes, it's the thought of "when" that is killing me - that is to say, "when" is this going to happen, and why am I wasting my time sitting her waiting for it to happen, when I could be with someone less exciting whom I am not going to need to worry about this sort of stuff with, albeit a lesser girl than the one I have at the moment.

Anyways, I'm not trying to be sooky or sappy, and im not fishing for sympathy or anything like that, but I'm just wondering if anyone else has been in this position before, and how to deal with it appropriately.

I know that the straight forward answer is that "you've gotta learn to love yourself before anyone else can", and that you've gotta find something in life you love doing so that it shines through in your personality etc. And I do love myself. But I honestly feel that the person I am can't give this girl what she deserves, and there's nothing in my life that I feel particularly passionate about.

Anyways, if anyone could knock some (rational) sense in to me, that would be much appreciated. I just read over my post, and I realise it's all such ridiculous stuff, and I understand that one shouldn't rely solely on the other partner of the relationship/should focus on themselves as a person as well. But at this point in time, I can't seem to get my head straight.


Cheers

[DalM0m]

Why are you inadequate? When you finish your studies you too will have a job & more money

As the new person in the work force, she needs your support. As glamorous her new adventures are, you are still her anchor. Act it like but don't weigh her down, just ground her. Praise her accomplishments.

If you keep up this negative attitude, she will drop you, not because you are unworthy but because you have become such a downer. She picked YOU for a reason. Hang in there. Change is scary.

[TheEvilJester]

A lot of times, people's advice in a situation like this is to tell you not to feel inadequate. But, I know what it is like to have a low (or no) self-esteem. So, you can say that all you want, guys like us are not going to be able to actually do that. But, one very important thing is to not let yourself dwell on it too much. You are becoming obsessed with feeling as though you are not worthy. If you feel that way, it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Has she given you any reason to believe SHE finds you inadequate? It certainly doesn't sound like it. So, don't try to invent reasons.

Plus, IF that did happen, try to remember that all this means is that you deserve better anyway. Somebody who would do that is not somebody who deserves a relationship in the first place. When you are in a relationship, you should never stray. If you are not happy with one relationship, you should always end it before starting another.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Learn to accept the fact that you may break up in the future. Just live your life, and if it happens, it happens. You're trying to cope with a problem that doesn't actually exist.