Why is it so difficult for men to be honest about where they stand in a relationship?

[Too_Giving]

Be honest, why sneak ? why lie ? why manipulate ? why not just say what it is ?
1) This relationship isn't going anywhere I want to move on.
2) I would like to see others, I don't want a monogamous relationship.
3) I'm not ready to settle down, If you would still like to spend time with me cool.
At least women can make a choice whether they want to continue at their own risk. Why is this so complicated?

[basilandthyme]

I'm going to counter this by asking why some women make it so complicated? And especially, why do some women give away all their decision making power?

We don't NEED to know what a guy's plans are. All we need to know is whether or not this relationship suits our needs and make the stay/go decision accordingly. What he wants should have very little to do with it.

[vashti]

As much as I hate to admit it, I think they ARE honest, if you look at their behavior, rather than their words.

[surfhb2]

Be honest, why sneak ? why lie ? why manipulate ? why not just say what it is ?
1) This relationship isn't going anywhere I want to move on.
2) I would like to see others, I don't want a monogamous relationship.
3) I'm not ready to settle down, If you would still like to spend time with me cool.
At least women can make a choice whether they want to continue at their own risk. Why is this so complicated?

Oh no.....never seen or heard of a woman being dishonest, sneaky or lying or just plain say what she means. Nope! Never! Never ever ever!

[smackie9]

I never had a problem with where I stood in a relationship.

[dickriculous]

Starting to wonder if all of these thinly veiled "men are pigs" threads are all the same troll with multiple accounts.

[searock]

Starting to wonder if all of these thinly veiled "men are pigs" threads are all the same person with multiple accounts.

I hope it is...

[searock]

Too_Giving, not all men (in fact, I don't even think the majority of them) are as you describe. It is true that most men in our western society are socialized since they are kids to hide their emotions and to feel ashamed if/when they do show them. However, lots of mature men are able to elevate above such socialization and aren't ashamed at showing their emotions if/when they feel like it, and most mature men would find no use in lying and manipulating in a relationship, because they know that there is no place for lies and manipulation in a successful relationship.

My guess is that you have been dating the wrong guys up till now. Start seeking elsewhere.

[smackie9]

I'll give that a thumbs up.....the thank you button is on the fritz.

[Boisdevie]

I'm a guy and yes we're all dickheads.

[HeartIsAching]

Starting to wonder if all of these thinly veiled "men are pigs" threads are all the same troll with multiple accounts.

It is getting tiresome.

OP: Why is it so difficult for women to not be whiny, clingy, needy drama queens that can't be satisfied with what they have?

[Wakeup]

If you think ALL men are the way you describe, Op then I have to wonder why you find these types of men attractive? Why you can't tell by their actions where their truth lies.

BasilandTyme spelled it out to you in the first response. Look within, I'm sure you'll see that you're giving yourself both emotionally and physically before the guy has even allowed himself to become vulnerable to you. So: Stop letting yourself become vulnerable to these men before they show you the truth.

[Starnique]

You know what? We as women just need to start accepting things for what they are. A woman won't have half the problems she has with men if she'd just deal with the reality of certain situations. What I mean is, actions speak louder then words. It took me a long time to realize that you cant really blame a man for your problems. If he mistreated you, then to hell with him and trust and believe, he'll reap what he sow. Sometimes things be right in your face and it may hurt you but you just got to deal with it and use your intelligence and know when to let it go. My mother told me that a man will only treat you the way you let him and its true.

Sometimes you have to do some searching within yourself and think about the kind of vibe your putting off. Seriously. I had to do that. It seemed like for a while I was only attracting a certain kind of guy and it would always end the same. I started thinking, what is it about me that's attracting these sort of guys and since I know that lots of guys are attracted to me, why am I only choosing to deal with the "bad guys" so to speak. So once I put it in that perspective, I had to start making better decisions about the kind of guys I was allowing into my life. Sometimes things like that can become a routine for you.

As for me, I was so used to drama as in "let me check up on him because I know he may be doing something and I want to catch him", just from my past experience. So since I was used to all that, if a good guy came along, I thought he was boring. Of course I didn't want a cheater or liar but it could be other stuff, I was used to being a drama queen. Now don't get it f ucked up, If I got something to say, good guy or not, I says what I have to say and I'm direct about it, that's just my personality. BUT my point is, maybe you need to start taking into consideration the type of guys you are letting in your life and don't settle for somebody if he not what you're looking for. If you settle for that kind of guy, or his true colors come out and you choose to deal with it longer then you should have, then you have nobody to blame but yourself. Reality is some guys are assholes so treat them like it.

[Too_Giving]

this is true

[Too_Giving]

not to say some women like this don't exist