Ok so heres the situation… Currently in a LDR (only 2 hours apart).
He & I have been together one year and 6 months on January 11. Obviously our first Christmas we spent apart because we had only been together for 4-5 months and weren't that serious.
He is 25, currently at university and spends EVERY break at his mother's (winter, spring, the whole summer).
I hadn't realized how attached he was to his family, until now. He has 8 siblings and an infant nephew. He is second oldest and only he and his older brother have moved away from his mother's home. So apparently, EVERY Christmas they all go to his mom's and spend forever, and they all have a jolly old time, etc. They actually love and care about each other.
He has made such rash statements as he "loves me with all his heart," "wants to marry me some day," "will spend the rest of his life with me," yet, he will not spend either Thanksgiving or Christmas with me. He feeds me these lines like when he graduates (1.5 years) and we move back in together we can spend our Christmas together. He tells me that we will have to go to his mother's for at least one of the holidays every year.
He really seems to be banking on the fact that as soon as he graduates, everything will change. He'll all of a sudden be grown up and we'll move back in together and he won't need to see his mother every winter/spring/summer break (he will be going into education, so he won't be working during those times). But we'll have to go to her place for either Thanksgiving or Christmas or both every year.
All I have is a sister that lives in another state, and I'm living at my aunt's house right now, but we're all adults and do our own thing regardless of whether it's a holiday or not. I have spent the last few Christmases alone in either mine or someone else's home.
This year, we were making plans to have "our Christmas" the weekend before Christmas week, when his mother just randomly texted him and told him she needed him back on the 19th for a "special present." He literally just told her yes and broke our plans. I've just recently found out that the "special present" was a teeth cleaning at the dentist…. And then he springs on me "Even if we did have our Christmas on the weekend before Christmas, I'd have to leave on Saturday (He'd have only gotten in on Friday night) so I could be there for my mom's 50th birthday."
I broke up with him on Thursday after I found out he blew off our Christmas for a teeth cleaning… I'm so torn up over this. He keeps telling me he wants to work it out and this and that and keeps reeling me back in, but this time, it's over. He keeps acting like I want him to just never see his family again. He keeps throwing in my face that I'm making him choose between his family and myself. I don't see it that way. Isn't there a point in every persons life where they grow up and just stop going back to mommy for everything?
I'd really appreciate any opinions or advice.