I’m 21 she’s 19. She’s studying medicine and I’m studying electrical engineering. We’re together for 16 months, the last 4 months we’re in some kind of long distance relationship coz she started college in a city 3 hours from me. I can honestly say that I love her very much and we’ve had very happy moments. She’s a wonderful girl, kind, caring, knows how to love. I’m sure she loves me with all her heart, she’s proven it many times. I don’t know if I have the syndrome “the grass is greener on the other side” but I can’t help the feeling that she’s intellectually inferior to me and sometimes we just don’t have anything to talk about. For instance, she’s religious (not too much) and I’m kind of agnostic. We’ve had some little fights over faith and religion, for instance, yesterday was the Orthodox Christmas and I refused to do some fasting and I said that I think that religion overall is nonsense and she got a little mad at me and we had some argument over religion. The problem is that I offer arguments and evidence and she’s just saying that I’m not right and that nothing good comes from talking like that, and that’s it… I can’t have an intellectual conversation with her and that bothers me a little.
Other thing, I’m really interested in science especially physics and she thinks that’s boring. She had a physics class at college and when I tried to explain her some things she just doesn’t get it and she cries… I don’t blame her about it coz it’s really difficult and she didn’t have physics in high school like I did.
Also, I really like technology and I’m kind of an audiophile and I like talking about headphones and speakers but she just doesn’t get me and thinks it’s boring… Whenever I talk about it I only get “nice” or “cool” as a response… Also I like fantasy and sci-fi but she doesn’t. Last summer she started reading Harry Potter books because of me but she stopped coz she started college and didn’t have very much time. We have good time together, we laugh and she’s really grown on me, but most of the time we only talk about ordinary everyday things like college or similar and it gets boring… And now since we are on a long distance and we see each other every other weekend we mostly talk on the phone and sometimes it gets a little dull.
I’m not sure if she lacks knowledge or lacks intelligence or curiosity and desire to learn… Or maybe she’s too preoccupied with college (medicine is really hard) coz she tries really hard to have good grades… She doesn’t have any hobby or interest but she says she doesn’t have any time to read a book or to do something else because she’s too busy studying…
She has a really good personality , but she’s really naïve and she trusts people too much…
But besides all of this, I still love her very very much and I just can’t break up… I imagine how’d I feel if I never see her again and I feel very sad… Also she loves me very much and she’s very happy when she sees me. I don’t wanna loose her, she’s my main source of happiness the last 16 months, before I met her I was kinda depressed. We're very very attached, sometimes just the thought of us breaking up and never seeing her again is making tears in my eyes...
Sometimes I think intelligence is overrated coz once you get married you're not going to be talking about art, philosophy and science and the intellectual conversation attempting to be a deep-thinker gets old pretty fast. If you can laugh together and if she’s a nice person, good mother, loving wife is much preferable than being intellectually stimulated. You need someone to live with, not pontificate with…
What do you think?