Do men get scarred for life from love?

[brighteyes78]

I've been casually getting to know / dating a man for almost three months. We are a little older, late 30's and early 40's.

He was married / with the same woman for 16 years so I understand his hesitation however, I'm really falling for this guy and just not sure what to do. When we've talked about us, he has said that falling in love is too complicated and that he thinks he's been scarred for life. I get that but what I don't understand is why his actions somewhat say otherwise. He always tells me good morning, good night, we talk throughout the day, see each other one or two times a week, genuinely enjoy the time we do spend together and sometimes he comes over with little gifts like cds, homemade pudding, little things like that. I have met a couple of his friends but that's as far as we've taken it. It's usually words that aren't backed up by actions but in this case, I feel like the actions aren't backed up by the words.



The real issue is... I really like this man and am falling for him. I love all his little characteristics, morals, judgment, etc. What I don't love is feeling like we won't ever develop beyond where we are. Part of me thinks I should display patience and consistency, enjoy the time we do spend together and the other part of me thinks I'm not spending my time wisely and I'm going to end up hurt and maybe regretful. I want someone to share my whole life with.



So men, what / how do you really feel when you're at this point of your life? Can you be scarred for life? Have you ever felt like this only to find love again? How does it change you? Perhaps I'm the right-now girl but not the right girl?

[pcmaster]

I think men ussualy dont feel ready for love. Because to us love associate with chore. Like keep attraction going, be valuable man by sociality standarts and ofcourse old school mindset where men does most of the job, inserting himself in vulenrable situations and taking the risks. Perhaps woman see love as bunch of lovely things that comes from man, like attention, basicaly leading the general course of attraction while women expects man to be a man.

[dem862]

I am probably not the only guy who questions whether love really exists. Those who are oriented to use logic won't delve far into the world of emotion as the two are mutually exclusive. Marriage is generally a bad choice for men.