I dated this guy for 1.5 years, we had a wonderful relationship. We were open, honest with each other and one thing we made clear at the beginning of our relationship is that we don't want to put pressure on each other on where our relationship is going. Though, we did say 'I love you' pretty quickly into the relationship. Something neither of us regret or deny wasn't real.
Two months before we broke up, we were laying in bed talking about what we wanted in our future, I had him predict what my future will be like and how he described it was awesome, he knew me really well and at the end of it he added "...and I hope I'm there with you". I didn't say anything but held him tighter.
A month later we went on a break because I was feeling lost in life. I needed time to sort me out.(In January, I started to see a therapist because I suffer from extreme anxiety and in March we took our break) A week into our break we were talking on the phone and he surprised me with some news that he had been thinking about A LOT. He said that one day he would really like to travel with me but that won't be for a couple years because he needs to go to school still and find a job. Travelling was something I really wanted to do with him, I asked him a couple months ago and he said no and it made me sad. So the fact that he reconsidered made me so happy!
At the end of the month we broke up. He told me he was lost. He wanted to find himself and he was worried that one day he would stop loving me. Since the beginning of 2014 I have PASSIVELY talked to him about going to meet with schools (something he has been bringing up for a year now) everytime I brought it up he shut down and closed himself off, it became a problem with us that we ignored the last month of our relationship.
Also, I am done school, I have my own business and this year I have been reading a lot about investing my money and getting a mortgage, something my boyfriend at the time couldn't think about because he couldn't even fathom school.
Is it possible that he was afraid of committing to me because he couldn't find a career to even commit to? It is possible that my independence and successful career scared him? Before our break, he was a HUGE support for me for my anxiety but in March when we took our break I wanted to be alone because I didn't want my anxiety to be a burden on him anymore, I wanted to fix it myself. I know guys want to be the breadwinners and be the "hero" for their ladies, do you think the fact that I pushed myself away from him to fix me scared him? Almost that I didn't need him anymore? Especially after he had said he wanted to travel with me and the fact that he said he wanted to be in my future?
I love this guy so much that I am doing everything in my power to deal with this breakup right. I know guys need time to think so I haven't been talking to him since we broke up because I know he needs time alone. There are times I want to talk to him and cry but I know that'd only make him feel worse and push him away. I'm taking this break-up to make myself better and a better me FOR ME and for the possibility if the stars align he will fight for me again. He was chasing me for 2 months before we dated because I wasn't ready to date when we first met.
Let me know what you think.
Thanks!
Elephant girl