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Thread: Sometimes my boyfriend acts strange and I dont know why

  1. #1
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    Sometimes my boyfriend acts strange and I dont know why

    So my boyfriend and I have been sorta dating since beginning of December 2013 but have been talking and had an interest in each other since we met in September of 2013 and we are both attending the same college. When I first met him he had just gotten out of a highschool sweetheart on and off type relationship of 3 years I had just gotten out of a highschool sweetheart 4 years strong relationship a few months before I met him but am completely over him. Everything seemed fine until we started to get a little more serious.

    On his facebook he still has photos of him and his ex girlfriend (looking like a couple) but I have deleted all the ones of me and my ex on my facebook. It didn't really bother me but when we said I love you to each other in February I figured things were getting more serious and he should probably take them down. Before we even said I love you I had posted a picture of the two of us on my facebook and we were not looking like a couple in the photo (because apparently when we first started dating dating he told me to wait on posting stuff about us being in a relationship on facebook and stuff because he didnt want his parents to know he was dating anyone because they didn't think he needed a relationship right now) so I still posted the picture because:
    1. we did not look like a couple in the pic, we were in an abandoned house and he was standing behind me making a silly face while i took the photo in the mirror, we looked like friends (plus it was like a month ago since he told me to not mention anything about us).
    2. his parents already knew about me because he told them about me and how he really liked me so I felt it would not matter if I posted it.

    Well later I notice it doesn't pop up on his wall or in his tagged photos because he hid it. He kept the other pics I tagged of him that were just of him. So I asked him about it and he played stupid and acted like he didn't know what I was talking about. Now a month later I go away on a cruise for a week and was not able to contact him. When I got back the first thing I did when I got off the ship was text him and tell him how much I miss him and cant wait to see him. He never said I miss you or that he cant wait to see me and the last time we were away from each other for a few weeks it was very obvious and clear he missed me and could not wait to see me so I thought that was a little weird. I then noticed he became friends with his ex again on facebook and that made me upset because he told me that he had nothing to say to her and had no interest in being friends with her because he couldn't stand her. I asked him about that and he said oh she apologized and added me again but I still have nothing to say to her. So i blew it off.

    Then recently he liked a photo of his of him and her looking like a couple at the beach from 2 years ago, now this really pissed me off and it was like a slap in the face to me because why would he like a pic of them two together if he does not like her and is obviously with me? Now another thing, we never put that we were in a relationship with each other on facebook and his said single for a while but when he added his ex he ended up hiding it (i think that's a good thing?) but i asked him why we don't say that we are in a relationship and he said he never has put that he was in a relationship even before me (which i think was a lie) cause if he doesn't want people to know hes in a relationship why would he put all those couplely pics of him and his ex up on facebook? It doesn't make sense. So when I asked him why he liked that picture he said I dont know I just did without thinking about it. But really the only reason I can think of him liking it was that he was reminiscing and missing her and that also gives her the wrong idea.

    Sometimes I just don't know why he acts like our relationship is a secret. I catch him in lies sometimes and lately it seems like if I dont call or text him I dont hear from him for almost a week and we live less then 5 minutes from each other. We only seem to hang out at night lately and i honestly just feel like a booty call. I know a few months ago when he said I love you he meant it but now I dont know if he does =(. Sometimes I am afraid that I am just a rebound but I dont know and it scares me cause my heart is already invested in him. Most of the time when we are together we seem fine though. Also, we are in the middle of a really busy semester and I dont know if that has anything to do with him not talking to me much but still he used to at least send me little texts every other day of, "I hope you're having a good day " but he doesnt do that anymore... I'm sorry if this is such a long post but I just really want some advice from other peoples perspectives. Anything would be great, thanks!
    Last edited by chrissyt; 01-05-14 at 10:34 AM. Reason: Sorry for the huge paragraph, hope breaking it up helps!

  2. #2
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    I don't suppose you could do us all a favour here and try to write using paragraphs - this wall of text is hard to read.

  3. #3
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    Fixed it hope that helps, thanks!

  4. #4
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    Also, we are in the middle of a really busy semester and I dont know if that has anything to do with him not talking to me much
    I don't see anywhere where you've actually asked him if that's why he isnt' talking to you much anymore... because he's busy with school.

    Anyway, all that superficial stuff regarding facebook isn't nearly as red flaggy as the fact that you don't see or hear from him for a whole week when you only live 5 mins away from one another.

    Talk to him about everything you've told us and if he's still an indifferent boyfriend that only sees you for booty, then stop seeing him altogether because no matter how you spin it... he's just no very interested in anything serious with you. If he shows you that he cares about the fact that you're feeling neglected and undervalued by stepping up his reassurance and attention to you, well then you've resolved a conflict through open communication (which you should hone so that you get things settled one way or the other in all relationships of every dynamic).

    Good luck let us know how your face-to-face (NOT email/text) conversation goes.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  5. #5
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    Is it possible you are the other woman and hes still with her?? Thats what it sounds like to me.
    "Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".

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