repeating patterns and impossible situations

[Amont]

Hey everybody,

as usual, I will try to make this as short as possible and hope for your kind understanding. I don't know where to begin, but here goes. I am a scorpio guy, 26.. the girl involved in this story is a taurus, don't really know her age, but I guess it's about the same. She goes to the same university with me and I met her last autumn. At first we rarely even talked to each other, but over time we've grown more closer, become friends and more open with each other. Over the past few months, it's all been wonderful, really. She lights up when we see each other, smiles a lot.. cracks jokes with me, laughs, is silly, did a favour for me without my asking, comes up to me when she needs to know something about school and stuff. All in all, I think we both very much enjoy each other's company and since we're opposite signs, I think the magnetic pull is also there.

So I was planning on telling her that I liked her and wanted to ask her out. That was my intention, anyway. But then one day we were just having a chat and she mentions her boyfriend during the conversation. It wasn't even a topic and it didn't become a topic since I ignored that, but I certainly picked it up and am, of course, devastated ever since.

You're probably going to say that yeah I should never have got my hopes up and now I should just forget about her and, ultimately, move on. That's the most obvious answer and I guess I have no other options, really. What troubles me more is how I am going to be around her from now on.. the fact that I'm hurting inside, should I just bury it down and hide it? Or show just a fraction of it, maybe making her realize the inevitable truth of the situation? Either way, things have changed and I'm just lost in the middle of all this.

PS. It also doesn't really help that the last 2-3 people in my life that I've grown to care about and have been 'on the horizon' are all unavailable/taken. The pattern keeps repeating.. and it's also quite sad that I've never even had a girlfriend in my whole life. You might tell me to 'stop looking' and something 'real' might happen for you.. the fact is, with all of these people, I wasn't looking for a girlfriend at all. All of this.. just happens. Why? If you know, please do tell.

Humbly and thankfully,
Amont

[DWizard]

As long as you continue repeating the same patterns, the same patterns will come back to you. Life is showing you simply to own no one yet treasure everyone. Not for a title of them being your girlfriend, but for the magic simplicity of just finding another breathing human you enjoy spending time with. Every look, breath, touch, thought, shared between to people constitute a relationship. Not so much the words and titles. Peace bro...

[HeartIsAching]

How 'bout this: In the future, instead of trying to get close to 'em and befriend them (which is a colossal mistake), you simply ask any female that you're interested in, out. The avoids the friend-zone, and eliminates any ambiguity.