How soon is too soon to ask a newly single guy out?

[michelle23]

Best of luck girl I like rowens advice. As long as you make it clear you wana take it slow and make sure hes serious about you coz you dont want to be a rebound-then it should be fine.

[fearoflove]

Guys who have just broken up usually are not good targets for a relationship. But they are ripe for ****ing if that is what you are looking for. You can put yourself under his radar by suggesting a hang out but I wouldn't do more than that if he doesn't take the bait. Only go for it if he goes after you. Not the other way around.

[smackie9]

There wasn't enough invested commitment (6 months is nothing), so that means there isn't the residual of raw emotions that are usually left behind after a breakup. Rebounds are the result of one escaping the pain, and using someone while they heal from that pain. I doubt she has any of that to worry about with him.

[Wakeup]

There wasn't enough invested commitment (6 months is nothing), so that means there isn't the residual of raw emotions that are usually left behind after a breakup. Rebounds are the result of one escaping the pain, and using someone while they heal from that pain. I doubt she has any of that to worry about with him.

Perhaps not but it's worth considering. Here's a good link on the subject... which (although I don't agree with) says sometimes a new relationship will help to get over the old one. Me? I'd never take the chance on them until I was sure he wasn't still talking to her or had her in his life in the demoted position of "just friend."

[url]http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/intense-emotions-and-strong-feelings/201309/rebound-relationships[/url]

[smackie9]

mountain.....mole hill.

[Wakeup]

I don't think so. It's always wise to go in with your eyes wide open.
Op seems smart, it wouldn't hurt her to read and observe him.

[smiling100]

Thanks valen & wakeup. You both made really good points.

Michelle23- they were together 6 months and split about 4 weeks ago. Lots of ups and downs apparently but he decided to end things because they just weren't happy together. Idk if it was really mutual but I did see her out last night at a bar all over another guy so I don't think she's feeling very heartbroken either

Classic rebound stuff. 4 weeks is still early to be dating after a relationship. Been there done that. Sounds like you are going to go for the ride no matter what anyone tells you.



Be very careful.


Good luck

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There wasn't enough invested commitment (6 months is nothing), so that means there isn't the residual of raw emotions that are usually left behind after a breakup. Rebounds are the result of one escaping the pain, and using someone while they heal from that pain. I doubt she has any of that to worry about with him.

Crazy advice.

Just because it was only 6 months don't mean lots of emotions were involved.

My last relationship was short term & it hurt more than my 10 year relationship.

[michelle23]

Ya it can be worse to be dumped in the honeymoon period when you only see all the good things in someone and havnt seen the bad yet.

[so..umhey]

Thanks guy!! I appreciate all of your input. I'm not really looking to jump into a full blown relationship and I don't think he is either. I would however like to be first on his list when he is For now I'm cool with just hanging out. Which we are doing tonight after his shift at work Woot woot lol

[Wakeup]

There's that "hanging out" thing again. Is "hanging out" to you considered a "date" Umhey?

[lalalita]

If you've known him for years, wouldn't he have made a move by now if he was interested in you in that way?

[so..umhey]

wakeup- no, I don't consider hanging out dating. Idk if I'm just a weirdo but I think the first few times you get together with a person whom you find attractive as the "hanging out" phase. Testing the water so to speak. Making sure you're compatible. Then if you are the next step would be the "dating" phase..this is where you've been out more than a few times with said person and are really feelin each other. Then there would come the "exclusive" phase. Which I think is self explanatory. As I said idk if I'm the only one who thinks like this, so I'm always sure to let the person i'm interested in know about my weirdass phases lol.

lalalita- Its only been 1 year.He has flirted on many occasions but I was in a relationship when we met so nothing could happen. Then me and my bf at the time broke up but he was already in the dating phase with his ex soooo again things were no bueno.

[Wakeup]

Well at least you have a strategy and you're not just going in, hanging out, fking and then expecting him to fall in love with you because of your woman parts. lol
There's too much of that going around these days!
Cheers... have fun on your 'hang'

[smiling100]

Ya it can be worse to be dumped in the honeymoon period when you only see all the good things in someone and havnt seen the bad yet.

Correct! Spot on!


It aint healthy to put them on a pedestal at all!

[MrLoyal]

Logical advice from an old broad: Google "Rebound Relationships" before you make your move. The least you could do for yourself is be educated as to what COULD happen when being the first one with him after a breakup so that you'd don't become too vulnerable too quickly.

First thing I thought when reading.