May he have developed real feelings for me?

[SaraGeene]

Hi!

So I wondered if anyone could give me your point of view about my lover, he is starting to confuse me, with what he means...

So I have had this lover for the past 7 months, and we always have fun together, stays at each others appartments and texts most of the evening together. He's older than me, and is divorced along time ago. He has lived a really wild life after his divorce, cause he needed to be "free", and he has enjoyed being for himself for many years, but he have had his bunch of booty calls through the years, and he once said he likes to play the "game". And sleept with women just to win some stupid bet, yeah even in your 40'ties that's even a thing?? Anywho... He flirted with me, I fell for his charm, I only wanted him as a lover, and I didn't know if it was just a one night stand or what, but we have been keeping this up for quite some time now.

So, in the start we had our insecurities about our age gap, it's a may-december... He has a child, and I none. He keeps saying that we can't stay together, cause I need to find someone to have kids with, and even though I already know this, I do like him, I would want to be with him if he wanted it. He's is the first man who I have had this really special and GOOD connection with, we bond in so many ways, and he supports me, and I him, and we may not text as much as we did in the start of our flirting, but now when we text, it's not just flirting texts, we asks about each others days, and we call each other, and we agreed on not seeing anyone else.

And the lover part is amazing, so the emotion and physical part is full covered, but he has started to be a little confusing..

The other day after our date at the beach, we snuggled a bit, and then I had to go to work. And as I got up, he got up too took my hand and pulled me into his arms and asked me to stay 10 more minutes. I agreed, and then we just stod there and hugged and kissed. Suddenly he says that I'm amazing. Out of the blue. Then again he started with the whole, "someday you'll find someone to get plenty of kids with", and I thought it was a hint to talk about our relationship, so I went ahead and asked if he wanted to be more than lovers, if that was possible? And he said that I was right? He didn't even answer my question...

He even wanted to go on vacation with me. Is it just me getting rusty at the whole realationship thinghy, or does it not sound like he might be liking me a bit more than he is allowing himself, I know he thinks I'm young, but he also said that I'm very mature for my age. (I'm 25)


Sorry for the loooong story!

- Sara

[smackie9]

He is pressing the the issue about your future plans. He doesn't want to hold you back from marriage and kids. The reality of it is, you both are at different times in your lives, and it doesn't matter about how mature you think you are, or the great connection you have, it is not enough. He has made it clear, kids are a deal breaker. Now it's time for you to make a decision about your future. If you give up on having kids, I'm sure he will be on board to keep seeing you. If not, he wants to make a clean break of it as to not invest anymore of his time with you.

[nico88]

I don't think you're gunna get any advice better than what smackie9 just told you. I'd listen to her...