wandering eyes

[ChrisandLiss]

Please help. My boyfriend thinks I have wandering eyes. He says he keeps catching me looking at other men. I've tried to explain to him that I am not intentionally looking at other guys as he is all I want and I love him very much. How can I make him understand that I am not looking or glancing at other men. My eyes just naturally are nosey and I cannot change that unless I permanently look to the ground. Please help as I don't want him thinking I'm not interested in him when he's all I want :-(

[searock]

He sounds jealous and controlling. Are you sure he is the guy you want? You are doing nothing wrong and you shouldn't have to walk on eggshells around your partner.

[ChrisandLiss]

He is definitely the guy I want. I love him with all my heart but what do i do to reassure him that I'm not oggling at other men. I wish my eyes didn't naturally be nosey but they are :-(

[searock]

There is nothing you can do to convince him. You are not the problem, his jealousy and insecurity is.

[basilandthyme]

Searock is right. You're not the problem. IF he wants to overcome this problem, this is something he must do alone.

Most importantly, don't EVER apologise if you've done nothing wrong - you'll only be reassuring him that what he's saying is OK. If he's accusing you unfairly, you must not buy into it.

[pcmaster]

I hate when the girl I like look at the other guys. If you look longer than ten seconds then he is right. But if thats not the case then say him you dont look more on guys than you look on the girls.

[Exeter19]

wear sunglasses and then look all you want and he won't know. that reply was for your " naturally nosey eyes" comment.

everyone people watches, it's human nature, i am sure even he does it, bullshit if he says otherwise.

[chinagirl]

I agree with Exeter, wear sunglasses.

I happen to pass by a nude beach once, luckily, I had my sunglasses on, so nobody can even tell if I was looking or not. Apparently, this people like to be nude on the beach but they don't want to be looked or stared at.

But joking aside, yeah, it's natural to look at other people. Even at my age, I turn my head if a man is good looking and sexy. Hell, I even turn my head if a girl is sexy and toned.

Tell your BF that it's normal, if he can't accept it, maybe he needs to get therapy for his insecure behavior.

[nico88]

Shit everybody looks at people. Searock is right dude sounds jealous and a lil insecure if you ask me. Don't feel like your doing something wrong because you're not.

He needs to deal with his insecurities and stop being a baby.

[HDBadger]

There's looking at people and then there's checking out people.

If it's the former, the other posters are probably right: Your bf sounds insecure.

But if it's the latter, he might have a point. A two second glance at a stranger is no big deal, but staring is, mainly because it's rude. Checking out other people in the presence of your SO isn't the greatest thing in the world.

[Rowen]

He definitely isn't secure enough with himself to have a healthy relationship if he keeps making accusations like that and wanting to control you. Not to mention, this isn't healthy for you because you're going to be constantly on the defense wondering, "Am I doing things right?"

I think it's pretty obvious what you need here...although I know that talking about it does not make it any less painful.
In my opinion, you need to leave him.

[pcmaster]

LOl thats not enough serious problem to leave someone. Things can be worked out. Besides jealousness can be a good thing. Rowen did you missed the part when OP said she loves guy with all her heart? Think you did a classic thing by giving suggestion without considering feelings.

[XyOh]

I think that since you are admitting that your eyes are "naturally nosey," then maybe this means that's he's justified in your ogling. There's always the possibility that he's being jealous and insecure, but I'm not going to address this as a possible reason since you admitted that you had wandering eyes yourself. If it's just a glance (the way you would look at ANY person), then the following is not for you. However, if you are "checking a guy out" or doing a "double take," then read on.

Assuming I'm correct and you do in fact have wandering eyes:
Stop. Guess what? You are being rude. You're using the phrase "naturally nosey," which seems like you don't think you have to try to stop because this is just the way you are. Even though it may be true that you are not looking intentionally, it doesn't sound like you're apologizing for it. If you really love and respect your boyfriend, you need to train yourself out of this habit.

Understand that even though you can't help it, this is disrespectful. Tell your boyfriend that right now, you do it out of habit, but you want to be better. Tell him that you want him to let you know every time he notices your eyes going astray. When he tells you, make sure you apologize first without using the excuse of "I can't help it!"

You can help it, it's just going to take some time.

Say you're sorry, tell him that you love him, he's the only one for you, and that you're really trying to work on it. Eventually, you'll be able to only have eyes for your honey.

[Rowen]

LOl thats not enough serious problem to leave someone. Things can be worked out. Besides jealousness can be a good thing. Rowen did you missed the part when OP said she loves guy with all her heart? Think you did a classic thing by giving suggestion without considering feelings.

PC, if he's watching her to see if her eyes wander and making her feel like this....that says something about his level of trust.

I'm not saying that jealousy can't be a good thing, but reread the OP's post. She doesn't feel cared about (at least, to me)...she reads like she's putting him on a pedestal higher than herself. That's not healthy.

I didn't do a classic "inconsiderate suggestion." All you need to do is read deeper than face value, my friend...