Can you ease out of a relationship?

[RobG]

Im in this relationship for almost two years now, and i just dont think i love her like i used to, is there a way to 'ease out' of a relationship, in much the same way that relationships start slowly. It seens odd to me that they must end abruptly.
See the thing is, i dont want her out of my life, in fact i probably need her, for support and things. But i just think the love is gone, or most of it has. She even said to me the other day that i used to write much lovelier, poethic texts to her, now its just 'where do we meet' etc. And i would love to be able to provide those poethic texts for her again, but i just dont have it in me, its not coming from anywhere other than wanting to keep her happy, which isint eough.

Oh btw ive written 3 pages on microsoft word about this relationship and my internal debate/dilema/ relationship woes. But i dont think anyone wants to read all that, so this is basically what i want to know, if i end it will it be over over no turning back..

[vashti]

No, there is no way to "ease out". You have to man up and rip the bandage off. To do anything other than that would be to prolong HER misery.

[hoxtonchris]

she will have noticed your "cooling" towards her,has she not mentioned it much?if she does then you can be honest with her and say you still have feelings for her but you are afraid you cannot get the same feelings to serface that you did at the start,tell her you are genuinly afraid that it isnt enough to promise her a lasting relationship on.and explain also that you dont relish the thought of her feeling bad about you if you decide to part.you may be lucky and find a tear or two appears ,she will feel your anguish .good luck (tears from you i should have said!)

[RobG]

she will have noticed your "cooling" towards her,has she not mentioned it much?if she does then you can be honest with her and say you still have feelings for her but you are afraid you cannot get the same feelings to serface that you did at the start,tell her you are genuinly afraid that it isnt enough to promise her a lasting relationship on.and explain also that you dont relish the thought of her feeling bad about you if you decide to part.you may be lucky and find a tear or two appears ,she will feel your anguish .good luck (tears from you i should have said!)

This is a good answer.
Isint there like 'on a break' or stepping back into more casual relationship things you can do before breaking up?

I only had 1 relationship before, and while i was thinking of splitting with her, i dont know if id ever actually go through with it, then she told me she wanted to break up and i was like awesome great.
I dont think that would happen with this one though because whenever i get the sense that we could be heading down that road i get this overwhelming sense that i dont want to lose her.

With my 1 ex, we never talk, and even ignore each other when we see each other. I dont know why, the relationship didnt end badly, but for some reason we cant even be civil with one another yet alone be friends.
And im terrified that might happen with this one.
I ask her in intimate moments that 'whatever happens, youll be there for me, right?' and ill be there for you always.
But i dont know if that matters, if it will carry over, its kind of impossible to ask 'if we break up, well still be friends' without bringing up the subject of breaking up. Which is something im entirely unsure about.. in its entirety.. id have to reject it..

[hoxtonchris]

hi again,i have been in your spot myself so i know what you are feeling.i liked a girl so much but she was cold and distant,i knew we wouldnt work,but the thought of her turning against me horrified me.i dumped her but told her exactly what i just wrote adding my insecuruity would tear us apart.she agreed we parted .i dont contact as im with someone much warmer etc.but if i bumped into the cold girl it would be amicable.

[milk&honey]

You need to let her know. I think slowly easing out of the relationship would probably hurt her more and for a longer period.

[andytownsend]

There is no way to ease out of a relationship, do it and do it fast. There is no easy way. Just one way. Goodluck!

[woody]

Dear Original Poster,

In lue of your last question.. "If I end it, is there no turning back?" you mean, once her heart gets stomped can you put it back? Not usually.
Hey, chances are, she's already feeling it. If the jest is gone already after only 2 years, you'll be doing both you and her a favour by allowing space and freedom.
Be honest, don't pussyfoot, don't give false hopes; offer full closure. Be strong of spine and speak honestly from the heart. That usually works the best.

good luck

[ladyloveslosers]

Yeah so true. Just rip off the bandage. Even though its going to hurt it will save a lot of time for both of you.