I think you’re right. We never dealt with it at the time and just drifted further apart. We never discussed it because she was ashamed (She really didn’t want to talk about being caught out which is why so many unanswered questions) and I didn’t really want to accept it but recently old wounds have re-opened when I found clear evidence of the physicality which at the time was denied completely.
It was a poor decision to remain, I agree. It just helps discussing as I have no family in that regard.