My Wife is ALWAYS online late at nite! Need some ADVICE on this one PLEASE!

[dono01]

Dude...

I personally don't think it's controlling whatsoever to ask her to respect you. Actually, I kind of feel it's wrong if you don't man up and and demand her respect in this situation. You deserve to trust her, and if this is going to be a foothold that may cause a progression of resentment, then it NEEDS to be stopped, and she NEEDS to respect you.

This is honestly quite far from being controlling. Bottom line is you two are married, and if she's disrespecting you by doing this, or even causing you to question why you even have to ask her to not do this, then she needs to stop for the good of both of you.

[cmacattack1]

What is she doing online every night until 3 am? Doesn't she have a job or something else that could be done and put work into? It just seems like a waste of time to me. Says the guy that spends hours on this forum. But I'm not married.

[Incognito]

The bottom line that you need to communicate to her is this:

You two are married. You are uncomfortable with her talking to guys late at night on the internet. By continuing to do so, despite your requests for her to stop because it is disrespectful and detrimental to your marriage, she is saying (by her actions) that talking to men who she isn't married to is more important that her husband's feelings and her marriage. THAT is the problem. You have to put someone first, you or them. If she is saying that she has no special attachment to anyone online, but refuses to cut contact with them she is putting him/them first. Under normal circumstances I wouldn't prees the issue with her phone, but in this case you have a point. She may be casually contacting the guy online and talking to him on the phone. She may also be smart enough to erase online conversations even though she doesn't know that you have the password. Try to get the call/message records from the phone company. If the phone is in your name this will be easy. If its not you may be able to work something out by mail, but don't call and request the records because they won't deal with you if your name isn't on the bill. They might also alert her that you are trying to get her records, and this would make them question the authenticity of future requests. Do a request for phone records by mail (make sure you have the number, account number, her full name and the period of time that you wish to view) and have them sent to an address that you trust (a relative or friend) or to p.o. box. I'd go with the p.o. box.

[lilly1185]

What is she doing online every night until 3 am? Doesn't she have a job or something else that could be done and put work into? It just seems like a waste of time to me. Says the guy that spends hours on this forum. But I'm not married.

Exactly. If she's bored out of her skull and doesn't have a job she's going to get into trouble. if she had something else to do (seriously...game together) maybe she'll be more productive.

[Sonrisa]

Kevin, your marriage is already a failure. You really have nothing to lose at this point. Your wife is nothing but a whore who has no respect towards you. Can you just get your stuff and leave?

[dono01]

Kevin, your marriage is already a failure. You really have nothing to lose at this point. Your wife is nothing but a whore who has no respect towards you. Can you just get your stuff and leave?

I can't really tell if you're joking or not. And no I'm not following you around the forum. But you seem like you're kind of a bitch.

[Sonrisa]

I am very much serious dono, is there any reason for Kevin to fight to save the marriage?

[dono01]

Well, I would say if he cares for this woman enough to choose to want to spend the rest of his life with her (which he did) then he should fight for it. Look I am not saying that she's not acting out, from what he posted, it's clear that she doesn't respect him as she should. But I would NOT go as far as saying that his marriage is a failure. TONS of couples go through stuff like this ALL time time, and come out 110% better. It's a matter of commitment, will, determination, and choices. Maybe there are some underlying issues that need to be dealt with and worked through that will end up bringing them even closer. Or maybe it's over. Either way, I think it's rather ignorant on your part to assess that a marriage is a failure based on these very few posts.

[IndiReloaded]

Show her this site (after you delete your post). This place is fun but it isn't a dating site. She might learn a thing or two about marriage here as well.

Oh, and maybe you should encourage her to do more than 'come TO bed', if you know what I mean. That should help her sleep.

[Incognito]

You make an excellent point dono01, but they've only been married for a month. Its not like they are fighting about the toilet seat being left up or who forgot to put the cap on the toothpaste. She is having (what seems to be) an emotional affair with one or more guys online, and possibly by phone. There isn't much to actually fight for here, it only been a month. Thats usually when newly weds are high on each other and f*cking like rabbits. This is a very VERY bad sign for something involving someone else to come up so early in any marriage.

[dono01]

I agree Incognito, I am just never a fan of dividing a marriage, or stepping away from something without doing everything possible to try and solve it.

[Sonrisa]

it is not a freaking marriage! it's a couple of kids with marriage certificate! learn to recognize the difference!

[Junket]

They're generation Y'ers.

Y'ers are inherently selfish and expect a high level of independence and privacy.

As a young woman, newly married, anything you do to encourage her to change her behavior, for better or for worse, will make her feel suffocated.

She needs a wake up call.

A good kick to the labia should do the trick.

[Sonrisa]

Fras, will you marry me? we can both lay in beds with our laptops and chat with other forum members?

[dono01]

I realize the difference between a contract and a marriage. Bottom line though... wether people like it or not, is that when you get married, it is a marriage.

That's what people don't seem to get these days, which is why I believe the divorce rate is more than half.