He says I'm the best thing that could happened in his life & breaks-up with me...

[Krimble]

It is only now that I realize that he does have alot of emotional damage... But we couldn't have been friends as I couldn't see him without feeling all weird inside. It wouldn't have worked..
You know, I was thinking that if that woman hurt him soo soo bad like she did, he would have been over her quick once he knew what he could have with someone else.. I thought the way I would treat him would make him forget and be disgusted by what she did to him..

I guess it doesn't work that way. At least, maybe I did help him a little bit.. If that's the case then it makes me feel a bit better i guess..

I hope the future puts us back together.. we'll see

[drdamian]

Hey i think you two went into this relationship a bit too fast and maybe he git a bit over whelmed with it...best is to spend some time on yourself you know focus on you and move on..

[what_now]

It is only now that I realize that he does have alot of emotional damage... But we couldn't have been friends as I couldn't see him without feeling all weird inside. It wouldn't have worked..
You know, I was thinking that if that woman hurt him soo soo bad like she did, he would have been over her quick once he knew what he could have with someone else.. I thought the way I would treat him would make him forget and be disgusted by what she did to him..

I guess it doesn't work that way. At least, maybe I did help him a little bit.. If that's the case then it makes me feel a bit better i guess..

I hope the future puts us back together.. we'll see

You know, it's really quite odd how the human heart works. As logical as that statement sounds, I've learned it's generally far from the truth. I think those kinds of relationships can be the hardest to let go. It's because as bad as things were, you invest so much of yourself emotionally to the situation and the relationship to try to repair it. And we all know, when we watch something we invest our lives into crumble, it takes a long time to piece yourself back together.

But I think most of us have been in your situation or something similar, hoping to have our love reciprocated. I like to think that love isn't a race and there's no hurry to get to the end line. You'd rather feel the pain now and have the other person try to figure things out, than force the relationship and watch it fall apart years down the line when he didn't ever take the time to resolve his past issues.

[Krimble]

I guess you're right..

I just can't seem to be able to let go of the hope I have that he will recover from her and than realized and will want to try again fresh..
But at the same time, I am scared that he feels lonely and go back to his old relationship and feeling miserable forever..

[Teddy057]

I guess you're right..

I just can't seem to be able to let go of the hope I have that he will recover from her and than realized and will want to try again fresh..
But at the same time, I am scared that he feels lonely and go back to his old relationship and feeling miserable forever..

If you truly love him, you will just hope for him to be happy. Him being happy could be with you or her. You don't have any control over that. But, I really wouldn't be someones option when they're your priority. You said they dated for 8 years? Dear god, I can't imagine how long it would take to recover from that. My last relationship lasted a year and some weeks and it's been 3 months of no contact. I'm still nowhere near being ready to date again. Truthfully, I wouldn't plan on this man coming back being fully committed anytime soon. I'm sorry, but I think you should take this as a learning experience, never date someone who recently ended a long term relationship.

[Krimble]

I will not do again, but I did and love doesn't go away like that..

I am not one who fall in love with just anyone, so what I mean by that is it will probably take a very long time for me to meet someone else, to feel what I felt for him. I'm not saying it won't happen, but I don't think it will be anytime soon.

So meanwhile, I don't speak to him and just give him his space to recover. I'm not "waiting" for him, i'm just waiting for the next perfect guy for me to show up in my life. By that time, he might have recovered and realized he is ready and want to be with me. If not, then hopefully he will find someone who will love him the way he should be loved, then I will be happy too...

[SapphireBerry]

Men are very confusing when it comes to love. In my opinion, though I do not mean to be sexist in any way because women can also find relationships troubling.

But anyway, I doubt he will turn back to the woman he was previously with, though sometimes men (and women) in some cases tend to make that decision even though they know they could be treated better. Believe me I have chased after some real jerks before over a guy that truly cared for me.
But the real question is 'why did your partner act like that?'

Well personally I think that men take a long time to come to terms with what they want. I would not blame yourself for what he did, but I think truth of the matter is he made a big step in the relationship and maybe grew slightly confused. I will be honest and say it was quite early for him to be moving in with you and it definitely wasn't the right move if he was unsure towards his feelings for you. I'm sure his previous relationship may have damaged him emotionally as IncognitoSir said.

It is good that you did not want to speak to him after what happened it may seem a little harsh to say that but if you do not return his calls or anything he may realise what he did and come to terms with how he is feeling. It is also good because as you said it would hurt to keep in contact with him especially after all of this.

There was definitely a big step taken in this relationship and my opinion is that you both moved quite fast and that can become confusing for most people in a relationship. It's all about giving it time and seeing how it will work instead of diving into the relationship and getting torn up emotionally.

I think like most women you need to keep your head high and if you want to go back to him after a while when you know/feel as though he has finally made up his mind about his feelings for you then that is your decision. All I can say is that I wish you the best of luck. Be strong.

Sapphire x

[Krimble]

Thank you very much Sapphire...

You're right, the main thing here is not what he will do because in fact, I will not know what he decides to do. Nobody would tell me if he went back to her because I don't see our mutual friends and will not ask.
But mainly, why he did that..

I know why I went along, because I knew right from the beginning that he was exactly what I wanted. Those steps we took, that was because he wanted, not that I pressured him, therefore I thought this is what he wanted too. Why not tell me if he wanted to take things slower... But, it happened so..

I am doing better everyday. Will join the gym today with a friend which will keep me busy plus will be good for my mind & body.

I guess, if we never get back together, at least I will have moved on and be ready for someone else. And if he does come back, then well... I would be very happy to take things slow and start over. He is an amazing person in the end.

Oh by the way, he sent me a message on MSN in regards to some money he owes me. Then he said he knew he wasn't supposed to be talking to me so he was sorry. I didn't answer on MSN and I've blocked him because again I don't want to be in touch. I replied by text message much later during the day, just saying, alright no problem, deposit it when you can. He replied back saying, Can or Cannot, i will deposit every month. Take care of you. To that, I didn't reply.

I felt sad after this little contact with him... I felt it was cold... but I guess that's the way it supposed to be?

Thanks for your support, no matter what happen, I will let you all know. I sometimes read post and then wonder, so what happened?

[SapphireBerry]

I hope everything turns out well.

If nothing else happens with him then all I can suggest is to move on.
There are plenty more 'awesome' guys out there who are quite certain about what they want
All the best to you

Sapphire x

[IndiReloaded]

I think some people just naturally gravitate toward drama/passion filled relationships. Whether its good for them or not. Sounds like your ex is one of those guys. Or at least he is recovering from 8 years of it, which is a long time in that environment. He must have been getting something out of it. If you are her personality opposite, that might have actually been a negative on you. Not fair or reasonable, but emotions rarely are.