what do you talk about when introducing yourself to a girl?

[bball_1523]

I wouldn't let her know that you've been admiring her for any length of time. She may wonder why you took so long to come forward. She may not understand your shyness at first. She could think it's a little creepy. So don't get into all that. Act as though its the first time you've ever seen her. But don't say that. Let her bring up the fact that she has seen you before.

well the thing is, we've seen each other plenty of times over the past 2 months. I think she knows that I've been looking at her and smiling at her. I mean I'm not flat out staring her down, but you know, the innocent looks...lol

[CircleC]

well then, maybe you have to use that in your introduction. But you have to play it right. Swallow your pride and seem a bit embarassed thats its taken you so long to strike up a conversation. Act like its just a little detail. No biggie.(as if you had never even thought about it) And don't get into the "i've been wanting to talk to you" or any of that. She doesn't need to know that yet. Maybe after 3 months of dating, you can bring it up. It will be cute then. In fact, it will probably be a good thing to bring up then because it could reignite the initial attraction(if there is one on her part). But its not time for that yet.

[CircleC]

And I do know what you mean man. I've had similar crushes on girls before. It seems to me that it got harder and harder each day to bring myself to talk to the girl about what I was thinking/feeling. The window on these things is often not opened too long if you know what I mean. If it was ever open at all. Just do whatever you can do and get by this phase. This phase sucks.

[bball_1523]

well then, maybe you have to use that in your introduction. But you have to play it right. Swallow your pride and seem a bit embarassed thats its taken you so long to strike up a conversation. Act like its just a little detail. No biggie.(as if you had never even thought about it) And don't get into the "i've been wanting to talk to you" or any of that. She doesn't need to know that yet. Maybe after 3 months of dating, you can bring it up. It will be cute then. In fact, it will probably be a good thing to bring up then because it could reignite the initial attraction(if there is one on her part). But its not time for that yet.

that's what I'm feeling. I feel too awkward telling her that I've been wanting to talk to her because it just sounds weird in that moment unless she asks.

so do you guys have any other first time convo topics to suggest?

[whaywardj]

Wherever you next happen to see her, point to an object she appears involved with or just one in her general vicinity, and tell her an impromptu and outrageously ridiculous history of it. Whether she laughs or becomes confused wondering "what the hell?" she'll never forget you. Like: "I see you're interested in that (blank). You know, five years ago, it wasn't there. It was thirty feet over in that direction. Rumor has it that one dark and stormy night..."

[bball_1523]

Wherever you next happen to see her, point to an object she appears involved with or just one in her general vicinity, and tell her a made-up and outrageously ridiculous history of it. Whether laughs or becomes confused wondering "what the hell?" she'll never forget you.

huh? lol I suck at doing that, anything else?

[CircleC]

Thats a great idea and it'll take alot to pull it off. Get out your favorite pants and shirt, you'll need to wear them. Put on your creativity cap and go for it.

Ok, so she goes to sharpen her pencil. You run up to her and exclaim "I couldn't get my hands off that beautiful pencil sharpener the first time I saw it either. Have you tasted it yet? MMM, you should. I tongued it for an hour yesterday and never had such a sharp pencil."

Seriously though, its a good approach.

[bball_1523]

Thats a great idea and it'll take alot to pull it off. Get out your favorite pants and shirt, you'll need to wear them. Put on your creativity cap and go for it.

Ok, so she goes to sharpen her pencil. You run up to her and exclaim "I couldn't get my hands off that beautiful pencil sharpener the first time I saw it either. Have you tasted it yet? MMM, you should. I tongued it for an hour yesterday and never had such a sharp pencil."

Seriously though, its a good approach.

what about talking to her about her weirdest laughing moments? Like one time I laughed at this and that, etc.?

[whaywardj]

I was messin' with you. Look: Chill. The more you try to plan it, the worse you'll do. Just come to grips BEFOREHAND with what you imagine can be the worst that can happen, then forget about it. Next time you have opportunity to speak to her, you'll have already played out the worst possible scenarios in your mind and anything that happens will be an improvement over those. Take it from there.

[CircleC]

So you think you suck at that, and you don't seem to want to just strike up a conversation and see where it goes. I don't think you can make it more complicated. But I suppose you could try and figure out what she does for fun. Who are her friends? Does she go out? Maybe then you could bump into her in more of a social setting.

[whaywardj]

Really. Listen to Circle. You are making FAR more complicated than needs be. Try to get over this feeling something catastrophic is going to happen if you don't "perform" perfectly. She's just another person in the world.

[CircleC]

what about talking to her about her weirdest laughing moments?

I'm not sure how you would word that as a question to her? Maybe if you are posing as a campus newspaper reporter and asking her for some silly survey blurb in this week's edition.
C'mon man, simplify. Your feelings might already be too strong to make this work. You can do it. Just be you. She's starting to become an object here, not the lady who first caught your fancy.

[whaywardj]

She's starting to become an object here, not the lady who first caught your fancy.

****in' deep.

[bball_1523]

I'm not sure how you would word that as a question to her? Maybe if you are posing as a campus newspaper reporter and asking her for some silly survey blurb in this week's edition.
C'mon man, simplify. Your feelings might already be too strong to make this work. You can do it. Just be you. She's starting to become an object here, not the lady who first caught your fancy.

you're right, I am thinking about it too much, and that has been one of my problems everytime I've tried to talk to women I had liked.

What else can I do though? I'm such an analytical person, it's hard for me to think in more simplistic terms.

I always fear everything at the moment I see her. See right now I am fine, but when I see her, my stomach drops, and I start to think 100 mph.

[CircleC]

Yeah that was a little deep Hayward, especially for me. But I've been noticing the same thing happening with me too. So I keep that thought in mind. This way, the time I do spend thinking of her is productive and I don't go on and on, and dehumanize her.

and bball...Being analytical is good. Being paranoid is bad. You're teetering towards the latter. Think about this. What do you have to lose??? Nothing, you have nothing with her right now except for your expectations and fears. Expectations are limiting and fears nead to be overcome. So, if you lose both those things, woo hoo for you.