ok.. this is a hard question...

[IceQueen]

I actually happen to be one of the few lucky people who know for a fact what love is, and I took some time to write it down, just for such an occassion


There you go (it's also in my journal, entry#2)
If you have no time to read it all, reading just the first three paragraphs should give you an idea on just what it is.

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Knowing a person in all aspects and having no reservations about spending the rest of your life with that person is love.

Infatuation is the same, but without knowing a person or knowing him/her only on the surface.

Knowing a person, and liking only some things (even if it's most of the things) about him/her is not love, and not even infatuation. And it's complete foolishness to get into a relationship with that person and hope that the bad things that you dislike about him/her will go away.

Of course, you can object, "But we can work things out!"

You don't work intimate relationships out. They either work or they don't, from the very beginning. Even though being in a healthy relationship should inspire work to become a better individual, it does not require work -- not "working out" the relationship itself, not "working on yourself' to fit in with your partner, and not working on your partner to make him/her fit in to your expectations of the ideal of a soulmate. Simply because you do not get more compatible with a person you fully know.

By the same token, statements like "we just don't love each other anymore" mean that there was never love in the first place. It did not wither or die because the members of the couple weren't "doing those loving things." The feeling was simply never there. And the amount of people who keep gripping at straws in failing relationships instead of going out and finding that one person who is the ying to their yang (and vice versa) is amazing, and it disgusts me. There is nothing blocking your happiness, people, but yourselves.

You'll say, "But if you truly believe that, you are risking to miss a lot in your life. It requires work to become virtuous in something and to experience satisfaction and bliss. Love doesn't make an exception."

What am I risking to miss exactly? Dead end relationships with people who don't love me? I'm more than happy to miss that, and recommend that you follow my example.

That old statement "love is not a noun but a verb" is mindbogglingly asinine, because it implies that love is not something you feel, but something you do.

It smacks of the whole (unhealthy) viewpoint of "do nice things to me and I will love you -- I will do nice things to you, and you will love me." It is inherently manipulative, includes one-sided relationships, and it does not ever work with intimate relationships, because to nurture love, love has to be there in the first place. True love means you genuinely want to be with a person. It has nothing to do with the things you are willing to do for him/her (and conversely the things he/she does for you).

If you need incentives to be with someone, it's not love.

[Innova]

Explaining what love "is" isn't hard, its explaining the raw depth of emotion that is real love...that is impossible.

[jane]

Originally posted by Innova
Explaining what love "is" isn't hard, its explaining the raw depth of emotion that is real love...that is impossible.

You are so right....

[IceQueen]

Explaining what love "is" isn't hard,

Go ahead.

I didn't see *any* good explanations on this thread except for MVPlaya's.

[squirrley]

Everyone has their own interpretation of it, and it doesnt matter everyone can try and explain it, but you can't. you can write all the differences of infatuation and being in love, that's easy. But to actually write it or try to explain it, impossible. you can only feel it, and you know it. Only YOU know it.

[jane]

Icequeen.. why do you always have to be so criticle? Everyone has their own version of what love means. That was the purpose of the thread... not to be judgemental on whether it was "correct" or not. This is just my opinion. I dont mean to be harsh.

[squirrley]

I agree 100%!!!!!!!!!! I dont think anyone whose REALLY been in love CAN explain it to its real depths...

Icequeen: not to be harsh either, but it's not so hard to pull that info from Cosmo magazines. Jane just happened to ask what peoples opinions were on it. And it's actually interesting just to see what people think. No one is right and no one is wrong.

The real meaning of love is found in the bible...

[IceQueen]

I dont think anyone whose REALLY been in love CAN explain it to its real depths...

Why, I think I did an adequate job.

[squirrley]

You need to go write for Cosmo no doubt! They'd pay you a good salary...

And hey Icequeen, that does sum it up, it was just that "adequate".

[IceQueen]

You need to go write for Cosmo no doubt! They'd pay you a good salary...

I suppose I could. But I'd have to give up a higher salary in IT.
You have no idea what "adequate" means, do you.

No more bickering please. All I ever told you is to keep your eyes open and your expectations low.

[squirrley]

Honey I'm an educated woman, highly paid myself with my career as well. You just put off such a bitchy attitude EVERYWHERE you go and its unnecessary most of the time. No one else does it, but I guess it's always good to have a devils advocate somewhere hey?

It's not bickering Icequeen it's tolerance. I've told you already I appreciated your "concern" and enough was enough awhile ago.
So I'll extend my hand and say thanks.

[IceQueen]

*sigh*

[MyPS2DunWorkSon]

If you in love then you blind .... cuz at the end u end up gettin hurt





"now a days bitches wany you for your money, im like hey i got nuttin but love for you honey"

[Innova]

Real love is not blind, it is eternal. There are many levels of love and even blindness...but there is only one "real and true" love.

Conisder it the holy grail of human emotion.

[jane]

Love is a cherished and needed feeling.. We as humans need that warmth and senistive touch.. denying that will only hurt you more in the end.