Talking to bf about possible open relationship?

[survivor08]

Though some people would rather be single during college, not everyone is the same way. Some people prefer serious relationships and there's nothing wrong with that.

That is true. I am just making an opinion. My opinion is worth as much as you paid me for it.

[Dasein]

I read one of your earlier posts and in the general scheme of things you sound highly ambitious with distinct goals in mind i.e. getting PHd and knowing approx when you want to have kids etc.

It also sounds like you are suffering from loneliness as well. Is it possible (just putting it out there) that it is companionship that you are craving? How many friends have you made at the Uni so far?

If it is just sex that you are after and considering the distance factor and your ambitions i would be more inclined to put the relationship on hold. If he is the only man that you have had sex with you are probably naturally curious to see what it is like with other people. I would just try to be fair to your current boyfriend. Who knows he may be getting offers and turning them down to be faithful to you.

I think you will do the right thing.

[Mish]

So my options, as far as I see them:
A) Cheat
B) Talk & get the open relationship thing through
C) Talk and be dumped
D) Don't do anything

As far as I know, I won't be able to do A or D. I won't cheat on him, he means too much to me. But my lust is driving me insane, so I don't think I will manage to keep steering away from the colleague. Especially since that colleague's been very clear to me as to what he wants............

Another likely scenario is he will niether dump you nor stand for an open relationship during the talk. What will you do then?

[Cain]

Another likely scenario is he will niether dump you nor stand for an open relationship during the talk. What will you do then?

Cheat on him.

[Sweeney]

I read one of your earlier posts and in the general scheme of things you sound highly ambitious with distinct goals in mind i.e. getting PHd and knowing approx when you want to have kids etc.

It also sounds like you are suffering from loneliness as well. Is it possible (just putting it out there) that it is companionship that you are craving? How many friends have you made at the Uni so far?

If it is just sex that you are after and considering the distance factor and your ambitions i would be more inclined to put the relationship on hold. If he is the only man that you have had sex with you are probably naturally curious to see what it is like with other people. I would just try to be fair to your current boyfriend. Who knows he may be getting offers and turning them down to be faithful to you.

I think you will do the right thing.

That hit me like a hammer on my head. Congrats, you've actually got me crying.

You don't know how hard it's been here for me. I finished my bachelor studies in another city. And the University I'm at now really sucks, but I didn't know that before I started... So I came here for my master study, but didn't get any introduction at all at the University. First month I had daily 3-hour classes with 6 others, all doing different master programme's and none living nearby. I was bored to death, only 3 hours of classes a day... I cried about every day, this was the first time I left home and I hated it. But I'm not the kind of person to give up so easily. I still don't know many people here, you're right, I don't know a single person doing the same study.... The work I'm doing is part of that study and they're about the only people I know. I know some from guitar classes and sports courses I'm taking, but they're very shallow contacts. Maybe I'm just feeling attracted to that guy for the bit of attention he gives me

Thanx for all replies btw. I know you guys are right and I SHOULD break up with my bf, I'm not being fair to him. But I also think I won't be able to stay sane here without my daily phone calls with him. That very thought is horrifying though, sounds as if I'm only staying in a relationship because I'm desperate for some human contact

I'll work it out somehow. Thanx for opening my eyes.

[Sweeney]

I agree with Gribble. Take some responsibility and dump the boyfriend. Why are you making HIM do the dirty work of dumping someone when YOU are the one who wants to fcuk someone else? There is nothing wrong with wanting some freedom during college, and I actually think you should have it, but let him go the right way.

Because I suck at making decisions and tend to leave them to others whenever I can. I consider that to be the weakest point in my personality.

As a guy, the mere suggestion would end it. I don't think there's an easy way around it. You can try to word it one way or whatever, but when the meat of your request is an open relationship, if you're boyfriend is what I would consider to be a "normal" guy he will see you either 1) peddling a dumb idea or 2) manipulatively/slyly peddling a dumb idea. Either way, I would only bring this up if you are more than willing to face the very likely consequence, that it will ruin your relationship. If that's the gamble you're willing to take, go for it, and let the chips fall where they may.

I don't know where to begin into advising you how to go about telling him, because it seems like such an out-of-this-world stupid thing to do.

Sorry, but that's the truth. Heck, I even feel insulted reading your post. I can only imagine what your boyfriend will feel.

Thanx for honesty.

Another likely scenario is he will niether dump you nor stand for an open relationship during the talk. What will you do then?

I don't know. I seriously don't. But knowing him, he'll have an opinion on it in a sec. and also make a choice. Either he accepts it or he doesn't. He's not like me to leave it open........