How to break the curse?

[lesa]

I'm not really looking for a girlfriend at the moment, just a dance partner, so I can learn more, and still get cancelled and bailed.

I have other shit to worry than to find one, so just want to go dance with someone and enjoy myself, nothing wrong with that.

If a girl comes along, that'd be great, but not in a rush to do so.

When you talk to your dance partners do you give hints or flirts that may give her the impression that you want more than a dance partner? Maybe the women have a man and now feel uncomfortable with you as a dance partner knowing that you may seem to suggest more although you are not interested in more.

[boobaa]

**** you women always feel uncomfortable with everything. You should start hitting on men, so we could feel uncomfortable as you for a while :/

drunk post.

[lesa]

Hehe..great article, ecojeanne.
Hell, I was ready to get the e-book. And Im a girl.

Kromat, you should try being more secure in and happy with yourself. As the article says, women are attracted to men who are clearly strong, confident, dont NEED women to make them happy.
I have no idea what you're like in person but I've seen you make many a post in which you complain about your inability to get a good woman to date. This may come across as weak to some women..and even if you only discuss these things online, Im sure women around you in person can sense the way you feel and are turned off by it.
As lastwish said, work on improving yourself. I believe you will find the girl for you eventually, no matter how bleak things may seem now. How old are you anyway?

My ex gives the vibe that he needs a woman to keep him happy. He is now having a difficult time keeping a girlfriend. I was his longest relationship and I finally got tired although I really tried. However, I don't think this may be an issue for Kromat. I think he is around unavailable women.

[lesa]

**** you women always feel uncomfortable with everything. You should start hitting on men, so we could feel uncomfortable as you for a while :/

drunk post.

That's just my guess. I am not sure what the issue is. However, if you express yourself to your date in a similar fashion as you expressed on here, then she may definitely feel uncomfortable or have other negative thoughts/behavior.

So Kromat you do perhaps want more of your dance partner? Boobaa, this is not about dating or hitting on women.

[boobaa]

it wasn't about hitting on someone, but women just feel like everyones hitting on them. Maybe men would like to feel like this too once in a while, just to understand.

[Kromat]

That's just my guess. I am not sure what the issue is. However, if you express yourself to your date in a
similar fashion as you expressed on here, then she may definitely feel uncomfortable or have other negative thoughts/behavior.

So Kromat you do perhaps want more of your dance partner? Boobaa, this is not about dating or hitting on women.

I have a dancer partner on Wednesdays's class, because she came last year to try latin & ballroom dancing and we get along,
but she's taken and doesn't have the time to practice, so I'm searching for someone else that is flexible on the other days
that I can practice and learn more dance moves with.

P.S. What is up with you people saying that I want something? A lot of those dance partners out there aren't single or If they are,
but probably won't hook up, they just work good together on the dance floor, because they share the same passion for dancing.

Why does everything that involves a woman, have to revolve around trying to hit on them or date them to become a relationship.
If it happens, that would be great, but not trying to force someone to make that happen.

I'm searching for a dance partner, and so are many others out there, so what are you on my case that I have no confidence?

They're the ones that are taking this seriously, I just want to hang out and learn with someone, and potentially make a friend that
I can go out with and use what we know in public to practice where the space is available and the right type of music is playing.

*** I've been doing this for some time now and don't feel like practicing the same moves that I already know from
before and want to challenge myself and learn more advanced moves like stated before, that is why I'm searching ****

[Zilla80]

I think confidence comes from just being happy with who you are and all your quirks that would cause others to feel insecure.

I use to be skinny and not the most confident person in the world.. so I started working out, put on some weight and really filled out and now I'm a fairly confident person.

[all alone]

I think confidence comes from just being happy with who you are and all your quirks that would cause others to feel insecure.

I use to be skinny and not the most confident person in the world.. so I started working out, put on some weight and really filled out and now I'm a fairly confident person.

I'm skinny and was kinda shy to, but you dont need to fill out to gain confidence, its all mental. I'm at the point where i just feel more comfortable with myself and although i wouldnt say its changed my life or anything but you definitely notice a difference when you meet new people and can be yourself right from the start instead of shying away a little.

[Zilla80]

No not at all.

I was just saying that working out gave me a lot of confidence. Like you said it's all mental and all about just being content with who you are.

[1averagejoe]

Confidence is a mental thing, but changing outward appearance can usually help.

I'm skinny, I have no problem with it. I just have problems approaching people in general. I have never felt too confident in doing it, has nothing to do with anything physical. I's not because I feel weak. Hell I'm trying to shed off a couple more pounds for cycling. Lighter means less to carry uphill. haha

[Kromat]

Damn you skinny fellows, i wish i was skinner and had more muscle than i do now.
I've always been average sized, so I guess I'm used to be to being this way.
I have got some what better with my socializing, but sometimes I speak my mind too much and it gets me into trouble.
I get talking with a girl initially, but get shut down as she changes her mind and might even bail on me.

P.S. I have trouble with someone accepting what I'm like because I'm not aggressive.

I was during my earlier years, and it just got me into trouble, so I have trouble being that way now.

[all alone]

aggression isn't the answer man, just believe in stuff you do well, your values, etc. Keep an open mind and keep working on the part of socializing you think you are week in, you sometimes have to take a very conscious approach to get rid of bad habits.

[Kromat]

I do so many things wrong, that it's hard to suggest what i do right.
My life is just one big struggle, i envy people that have everything go right for them.

P.S. I know I should think more positively, but at this point whatever I try ends in failure or arguments, so why even try anything at all?

In my mind, i know what I'd like to be, but in reality, i doubt it'll happen.

[ecojeanne]

I do so many things wrong, that it's hard to suggest what i do right.
My life is just one big struggle, i envy people that have everything go right for them.

P.S. I know I should think more positively, but at this point whatever I try ends in failure or arguments, so why even try anything at all?

In my mind, i know what I'd like to be like, but in reality, i doubt it'll happen.

i'll use your own sig quote against you hehe

'Nothing is a waste of time, if
you use the experience wisely.'















you see you should listen to yourself.....

[1averagejoe]

Damn you skinny fellows, i wish i was skinner and had more muscle than i do now.
I've always been average sized, so I guess I'm used to be to being this way.
I have got some what better with my socializing, but sometimes I speak my mind too much and it gets me into trouble.
I get talking with a girl initially, but get shut down as she changes her mind and might even bail on me.

P.S. I have trouble with someone accepting what I'm like because I'm not aggressive.

I was during my earlier years, and it just got me into trouble, so I have trouble being that way now.

At my age college girls want a fuller guy. Someone that doesn't weigh as much as them. Being skinny sucks when it comes to girls my age, but I love it because I know when I'm old and uglier I'll fill in and look normal. Also it's less weight for climbing when I'm cycling. Those old guys may have an expensive 15 pound carbon fiber bike, but I've got 50lbs lighter of a belly. haha.

Another thing that sucks is people always mistake me for being in high school still. I've been cycling with people and couple of the things they said were, "so what high school do you go to?" or "so how old are you, 17?"