He broke it off

[alovehangoverr]

I'm having a hard time letting this go because of his message where he said: "Look, I hope it doesn't end like this. I just gotta take care of myself for a little while. So I'll talk to you later I hope."

Does it sound like he might contact me again or, as someone stated above, do you think he was just trying to let me down easy?

... I seriousy don't understand why you're so hung up on this guy.

He doesn't want to be with you.

Let it go.

[lovemuffin]

He called me this morning. He said he got a missed "private caller" call the other day and wondered if it was me. He said he's sorry the way things went and that he wasn't man enough to have broken things off in person. He said that's where he was in his life then, but that things are better and he's gotten his own place.

He also said he misses me, has thought about me a lot, and would love to talk with me.

What the hell???

[Yggdrasil]

Right now you have to take everything he says word value and not search for some hidden meaning behind his words.

My advice would be: get closure. If that has to be via a talk with him, sure, but NOT over the phone. Those things have to be done in person, on neutral terrain, such as for example a coffee shop or a restaurant.

And in my opinion, that's what this is about when it comes to his side: closure.

[lovemuffin]

Why would he mention 3 times that he misses me and thinks about me a lot if it's just for closure though?

[Cain]

Why would he mention 3 times that he misses me and thinks about me a lot if it's just for closure though?

Stop. Reading. Into. Everything.

Men are so much simpler than women.

Just because he misses you doesn't mean that he wants to get back together. Maybe he only misses you because he's lonely? Maybe he just misses the companionship? Don't read too far into this or you might get very disappointed.

[lovemuffin]

Well, we got together a few times the past two weeks.. and I found out he lied about some things when we dated 2 months ago. About a month into it back then, he had acted really weird one week and wouldn't have sex.... A couple weeks later he mentioned how he had heard through the grapevine his ex had been thinking of calling him, but she then decided it was a bad idea. He also told me she was engaged. I said at the time "was that the week you were acting weird?" He said "Yeah".

When I mentioned yesterday how that had impacted our relationship he said "And the phone call was awful". I was stunned and said "You did talk to her?" He said "Yes. I told you that." "No you didn't" I said. He said "I did... and the phone call didn't go well at all". I said "You told me she had been thinking to call you but then thought better of it. You also said she was engaged. Is she really engaged?" He said "Oh I don't know". He said soemthing else that turned out to be a lie later too.

I grabbed my keys and said "Well this explains a lot". He was sitting on the couch and held his hand up (like "Bye") and I walked out the door.

Asshole.

[Yggdrasil]

Well, we got together a few times the past two weeks.. and I found out he lied about some things when we dated 2 months ago. About a month into it back then, he had acted really weird one week and wouldn't have sex.... A couple weeks later he mentioned how he had heard through the grapevine his ex had been thinking of calling him, but she then decided it was a bad idea. He also told me she was engaged. I said at the time "was that the week you were acting weird?" He said "Yeah".

When I mentioned yesterday how that had impacted our relationship he said "And the phone call was awful". I was stunned and said "You did talk to her?" He said "Yes. I told you that." "No you didn't" I said. He said "I did... and the phone call didn't go well at all". I said "You told me she had been thinking to call you but then thought better of it. You also said she was engaged. Is she really engaged?" He said "Oh I don't know". He said soemthing else that turned out to be a lie later too.

I grabbed my keys and said "Well this explains a lot". He was sitting on the couch and held his hand up (like "Bye") and I walked out the door.

Asshole.

Now you know and have closure.

[Asip4u]

So it's not like he cheated or something...He talked to his ex over the phone and some feelings came back...i mean honestly, people do this stuff so often... You can't just get up and leave the person over somethng like this...If you and this guy care about each other and it looks like he does care about you he just needs to deal with his own personal issues at the moment..I think you should give him some space and hopefully he can work out his problems first.

[lovemuffin]

So it's not like he cheated or something...He talked to his ex over the phone and some feelings came back...i mean honestly, people do this stuff so often... You can't just get up and leave the person over somethng like this...If you and this guy care about each other and it looks like he does care about you he just needs to deal with his own personal issues at the moment..I think you should give him some space and hopefully he can work out his problems first.

I don't really enjoy being involved with someone who is still hung up on their ex... and I highly doubt I'm alone in that. It's not like they were married or have kids either. It ended with her 2 years ago! Why the **** is he still talking to her periodically?? And I wonder what "periodically" even means. I didn't know she called him periodically to check in on him. And what the **** were they fighting about if it's truly over??? I wonder if it had anything to do with me. I am so sick of getting involved with someone just to find out they have an ex or more still lingering around.

I also asked him yesterady: "Are you still in love with your ex?" He said "I don't think so". That was really comforting.

Their situtaion was they lived together for 4-6 years. Broke up and she took him back then she gave him 48 hours to get out after she found paperwoprk that he had married a woman for $ so she could be legal in the country. God only knows what he did the first time to cause her to break it off with him... although he said drinking but I'm doubtful of anything he says now.

[Asip4u]

Well i guess you have him figured out then. It just seemed right from the beginning that it wasn't so much about his ex as much as it was about him not being confident in his abilities..being on medication..not having a car and so forth...who knows, if he starts calling you more and more i guess that'll sort of be your answer...When a guy stops caring he simply won't want anything to do with you period!

I don't really enjoy being involved with someone who is still hung up on their ex... and I highly doubt I'm alone in that. It's not like they were married or have kids either. It ended with her 2 years ago! Why the **** is he still talking to her periodically?? And I wonder what "periodically" even means. I didn't know she called him periodically to check in on him. And what the **** were they fighting about if it's truly over??? I wonder if it had anything to do with me. I am so sick of getting involved with someone just to find out they have an ex or more still lingering around.

I also asked him yesterady: "Are you still in love with your ex?" He said "I don't think so". That was really comforting.

Their situtaion was they lived together for 4-6 years. Broke up and she took him back then she gave him 48 hours to get out after she found paperwoprk that he had married a woman for $ so she could be legal in the country. God only knows what he did the first time to cause her to break it off with him... although he said drinking but I'm doubtful of anything he says now.

[lovemuffin]

Well i guess you have him figured out then. It just seemed right from the beginning that it wasn't so much about his ex as much as it was about him not being confident in his abilities..being on medication..not having a car and so forth...who knows, if he starts calling you more and more i guess that'll sort of be your answer...When a guy stops caring he simply won't want anything to do with you period!

Yes, I think those things also had something to do with it. I told him yesterday that I've already been done the road of being with someone when they were miserable and needed to change their life and once they did and were doing much better... dumped me like a hot potatoe. He said "But I'm not miserable now" Yet he also said "I tend to be a sabatoure (sp?)... and I'm not saying this to scare you... but it just seems when things are going well for me and I have peace in my life I start ****ing things up bad"

He said he felt really at peace just sitting with me in his new place and walking on the beach earlier. I asked him why he thinks he sabotages things. He said "I don't know. Maybe because I never feel I deserve good things. That's why I want to get into intense therapy soon"

I really still can't believe he lied to me about his ex.

[IndiReloaded]

Wow, Muffin. What a loser that guy is. Is this really the best you can do? Wasting your time thinking about a jerk like this?

Flush the toilet and think no more of the turd that was him. You are expecting humanity or reasonable behaviour (or remorse!) from a turd? Why would you? That is why you are flushing him, yes? Buh-bye.

[lovemuffin]

Wow, Muffin. What a loser that guy is. Is this really the best you can do? Wasting your time thinking about a jerk like this?

Flush the toilet and think no more of the turd that was him. You are expecting humanity or reasonable behaviour (or remorse!) from a turd? Why would you? That is why you are flushing him, yes? Buh-bye.

Yes.. this is pretty much exactly what I thought of him when I woke up this morning. I guess I'm just still a little angry and venting and even thinking of sending him a letter telling him what a loser I think he is. I dont' really give a shit right now that he's a recovering alcoholic/narcotic abuser.

[Cain]

Yes.. this is pretty much exactly what I thought of him when I woke up this morning. I guess I'm just still a little angry and venting and even thinking of sending him a letter telling him what a loser I think he is. I dont' really give a shit right now that he's a recovering alcoholic/narcotic abuser.

What is a letter really going to do? You can't seem to break off all contact... even if that contact is negative.

Sheesh. Just walk away.

[Asip4u]

Interesting that so many women on here come and say 'well he was a loser anyways' yet so many of you already know who you're with yet still decide to keep going...the point being, once you know someone (and it doesn't take too long) why keep going? women are trying to change men and make them something they'll never become and then the blame is on him...come on..