Women like to be treated like crap

[Mish]

Sometimes when I date certain women I'm reminded of this song and it makes me loath dating. Especially when seeing how forceful methods achieve results where soft approach consistently fails.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwaj7SnN9iY"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwaj7SnN9iY[/ame]

When you call she doesn't answer, when you write she doesn't answer
You go out you see him with her, she told you she was sick at home
The ring you gave her thrown away with all the letters
And when you see him with her, he doesn't even care at all

As she follows him around like you follow her around
And he doesn't even care and you're figuring out
The only way your gonna keep somebody around
Well I'm about to let you know

There's something I don't want you to understand
The only way a woman is gonna want a man
The only way you'll ever keep her in your hands
Is by breaking apart her heart
Don't tell her she is the reason that you live
Don't give her everything that you got to give
If you want to keep the girl for as long as you live
Just break apart her heart

Can't you see the way she's crying
Well that's what keeps her trying,
she knew that she could have you
And he don't give her what she wants

There's truth about this,
you say you want to be noticed
Well if you want to be noticed
you gotta learn to break some hearts

Don't try to understand

There's something I don't want you to understand
The only way a woman is gonna want a man
The only way you'll ever keep her in your hands
Is by breaking apart her heart
Don't tell her she is the reason that you live
Don't give her everything that you got to give
If you want to keep the girl for as long as you live
Just break apart her heart

Can't you see what you've done?
What I've become, what I've become
Can't you see? Can't you see?

I don't understand this cruelty
I don't understand but now I see

[misombra]

eh, you guys are just dating young, inexperienced girls.

when a girl dates enough assholes, she eventually gets sick of it and looks for the nice guys.

[Doc Durian]

i don't like to be treated like crap but i don't like a big push over, wimp either.

What constitutes the difference, for you, between an arsehole who doesn't care about pleasing you and someone over the moon in love with you and wants you to be comfortable and happy?

Your ideal man would have to be both, and he couldn't fudge his way through it either. He'd have to be as contrary as your own expectations.

Men tend to not see the point of all that chaos. They either care and want to show it, or don't care and don't care if you know that or not.

Again, there are exceptions to the case.. take for instance myself. I can go from doting lovelorn puppy dog to Atila the Hun in 3 seconds flat dependent on the circumstances.

But do I consider that ideal?

Far cry from it.

I consider it a fault in myself and I metaphorically strive to carry a chew toy with me wherever I go, solo or as part of a duo.

[misombra]

eh, there are a lot of men who can handle the balance. so i don't feel so bad for those who cannot, or will not learn.

[Mish]

Your ideal man would have to be both, and he couldn't fudge his way through it either. He'd have to be as contrary as your own expectations.

take for instance myself. I can go from doting lovelorn puppy dog to Atila the Hun in 3 seconds flat dependent on the circumstances.

I understand what you are saying here. It's not about balance at all, but a level of contradiction and fakeness. From this point of view basically, a perfect guy would have to be a good actor and put on a good show that wows his audience, instead of being caring or himself. The one with the most "wows" wins.

And then the audience questions why they were being lied to when the show is up. The lies were on demand.

[bluesummer]

I think the correct amendment to that statement is:

"Women who are insecure and/or desperately lonely will allow you to treat them like crap just so they have someone in their lives."

Find someone who isn't afflicted by one of the above listed personality problems.

[Doc Durian]

eh, there are a lot of men who can handle the balance. so i don't feel so bad for those who cannot, or will not learn.

Though isn't being a sexually charged Ghandi more desirable than an occasionally flattering Charles Manson? Shouldn't all men and women strive to be the best person they can be, and if they get close to achieving that, should their significant other feel dissatisfied for it?

You know, Ghandi was a rebel... He took on anyone who crossed his altruistic path.

Alright, maybe he was barely draped in a khadi loincloth and silly cap and more resembled an overgrown bub. No Che Guevara, mind you... but at least he wasn't overtly preachy about hormones in eggs, the carnage of chilli peppers and liked to off people.

I'd like to think there are a lot more women out there who value a good person or a person striving to be the best person they can be. But I'm not holding my breath on it.

But there are some out there. So that's promising.

[misombra]

i think there's something wrong with the women you are choosing as partners.

[Doc Durian]

i think there's something wrong with the women you are choosing as partners.

I've been bandying about a theory for some time now... nearly all of them read those crap checkout counter womens mags or kept up on who was wearing what (or hardly anything) on the red carpet.

They've come from different stratas, backgrounds, and the like but there might be something in that regardless...

[misombra]

i think what men find appealing to the eye and what they find appealing to the heart are very different.

guys always want women who look pretty and done up with dyed hair and acrylic nails and shit. then they wonder why the girl is so shallow and bitchy later on.

[Doc Durian]

I'm into the natural, myself.

Done to the hilt is sexy when it's occasional, but can't compare with bedhead, 3 day worn blue jeans, and a sweet demeanor.

[misombra]

well, as long as you beat her on fridays, holidays, and when your team loses then you'll be okay.

[Doc Durian]

Why would I have cause to, nor even want to do that?

That's weird.

[Mish]

i think what men find appealing to the eye and what they find appealing to the heart are very different.

guys always want women who look pretty and done up with dyed hair and acrylic nails and shit. then they wonder why the girl is so shallow and bitchy later on.

I agree. I guess guys have a bit of hypocrisy to admit to as well. There is a sense of achievement that comes with having a trophy girlfriend and guys need to learn how to pay the price of being with someone like that.

I just wish these interactions were easier than they are. Sometimes dating can be like walking on tulips (shhhh, careful what you do and what you say, should I do say something nice or ignore her to get more interest) and it shouldn't be like that.

[Yggdrasil]

I just wish these interactions were easier than they are. Sometimes dating can be like walking on tulips (shhhh, careful what you do and what you say, should I do say something nice or ignore her to get more interest) and it shouldn't be like that.

Why should it be that way? If you have to watch what you say and what you do, you're not being your natural self. So you're basicaly giving your 'date' a false image of whom you are. And then 3 weeks later, people wonder why it backfires.

If people can't accept you the way you are and you have to pretend being someone else just to have their acceptance, the only thing you're doing is setting yourself up for massive failure.

Do people honestly believe they can keep on fooling others forever?