I was so desperate for her love - Finally got a big wake up call...

[IndiReloaded]

Look Soul, my heart goes out to you. I agree you got played. But I do think you are minimizing your involvement in how this played out. Hope and hormones are very powerful, and make us stupid when we know, intellectually, things aren't right.

I'm just trying to say that being bitter might be the wrong way to process all this. What you should be doing is figuring your behaviour and what you might change to avoid getting stuck in the muck again in future. You should read the Shining Knight thread if you haven't yet. I think you may find some similarities in your behaviour:

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/26633-description-shining-knight-syndrome.html[/url]

[soulsurvivor23]

If this was all about "getting some ass" trust me, there are easier ways to do it. Just because I put "desperate for her love" in my thread title doesn't mean that this is my first ever experience with a woman. And yes I bare part of the blame, but no I don't feel like it's the larger part. I definitely should've left when she first told me about the bf (which I also believe was probably still with her the entire time) and I tried to. But what happened was she started calling me daily, sending me e-mails, text messaging me and telling me that i'm the only one for her and that she's gonna leave him for me.. So yes, I take fault for falling for it, but don't act like i'm not the victim here.

[IndiReloaded]

So yes, I take fault for falling for it, but don't act like i'm not the victim here.

I'm not acting like anything. I assumed you posted on this forum for objective advice from someone who has nothing to do with your situation. Grow up and stop being so defensive.

I think you desperately want to be the victim b/c to admit otherwise would be a huge blow to your ego. But, its your path. If you want to be a bitter man, have at it. You'll attract all that attitude deserves. Good luck.

[soulsurvivor23]

I'm not acting like anything. I assumed you posted on this forum for objective advice from someone who has nothing to do with your situation. Grow up and stop being so defensive.

I think you desperately want to be the victim b/c to admit otherwise would be a huge blow to your ego. But, its your path. If you want to be a bitter man, have at it. You'll attract all that attitude deserves. Good luck.

I didn't post here because I needed to understand what happened. Regardless of whether someone bluntly points it out to me or not, i'm not stupid, so therefore I know exactly what happened. I posted here as a way of therapy, to get my feelings out there in written form and hopefully have people post some words of comfort to help me through what is a very difficult time for me. If you are incapable of doing that, don't post in my thread it's that simple.

[IndiReloaded]

I can see why you have the problems you do. Again, good luck.

BTW, if you want to control the traffic on a public forum, perhaps you should increase your payments to the site administrator.

[IndiReloaded]

Look Soul, my heart goes out to you. I agree you got played. But I do think you are minimizing your involvement in how this played out. Hope and hormones are very powerful, and make us stupid when we know, intellectually, things aren't right.

I'm just trying to say that being bitter might be the wrong way to process all this. What you should be doing is figuring your behaviour and what you might change to avoid getting stuck in the muck again in future. You should read the Shining Knight thread if you haven't yet. I think you may find some similarities in your behaviour:

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/26633-description-shining-knight-syndrome.html[/url]

10 char___________

[IndiReloaded]

Well, I wouldn't expect much sympathy from this forum after your last. Most reasonable humans only lash out at the people who actually cause their angst. Try prozac, next time.

EDIT - Souls post was, removed or deleted. Probably a good thing.

[soulsurvivor23]

What do you not understand about not posting in my threads? Is it that difficult of a concept to understand?

Someone who is obviously hurting comes on this site to post on their problems and you really think it's constructive and/or helpful to come in here and tell them that they're stupid, it's their fault, they just wanted to get some ass, and that it was deserved... Like really, forgive me to responding to an asshole with anger. I'll try harder next time.

[lovesjoyajm]

What do you not understand about not posting in my threads? Is it that difficult of a concept to understand?

Someone who is obviously hurting comes on this site to post on their problems and you really think it's constructive and/or helpful to come in here and tell them that they're stupid, it's their fault, they just wanted to get some ass, and that it was deserved... Like really, forgive me to responding to an asshole with anger. I'll try harder next time.

FYI, you can put users you dislike on your "ignore" list. Other than that, there's no way to keep people out of your threads and the more you try, the more you will be [rightfully] accused of wanting to hear only what you want to hear.

Anyway, my two cents - whether or not you were played, victimized, beaten down, etc, you aren't doing yourself any favors by playing up the "victim" thing. This sort of attitude is cringe-worthy. Hope you're not doing this in real life. The way you act, and the way you portray the situation to your friends (and us) will affect the way you yourself think about it. Trust me, when you're finally over this, you will feel much better if you've used terms that don't make you out to be the poor innocent puppy.

I'm sorry you got hurt. You've got to choose your attitude here, man, and the one you've displayed so far is very unbecoming.

[soulsurvivor23]

But how do you, or anyone else for that matter, know anything about my attitude? Because I said i'm bitter about how I was treated? Who wouldn't be? That doesn't mean that I treat people any differently, it just means I want nothing to do with her anymore and i'm going to take what i've learned and apply it to my future encounters.

[misombra]

geez soul calm the fuk down! indi gave you some good advice and perspective on your situation and you totally slammed her.

you were a fool for getting that ring and you know it.

[soulsurvivor23]

geez soul calm the fuk down! indi gave you some good advice and perspective on your situation and you totally slammed her.

you were a fool for getting that ring and you know it.

Telling someone they're stupid is not advice... Constructive criticism is to tell someone where they went wrong and how to fix it. That I can take. Condescending name calling and passing judgement is not.

[soulsurvivor23]

Ok, I apologize. However, in reading through it again, it was THIS comment that really set me off. Totally unneccessary and untrue.

"Well from where I sit, you were a White Knight who finally decided to get off his charger. With some help from her. She didn't force you to this behaviour, you chose your actions of your own free will. No doubt, with the hope of getting some ass in the long run. Right?"

[misombra]

you were wrong and dumb to get that ring. you shouldn't do it anymore. and hanging with a girl who has a boyfriend is also wrong. might not want to do that again either.

[soulsurvivor23]

Captain obvious to the rescue... If you were saying that for the sake of helping me out, I might respect your opinion, but since you're saying it with an obvious agenda I disregard.