PLaying hard to get: How much is too much

[Asip4u]

Yeah im playing the game with one right now. In fact we're both doing it and i think i'm winning cause she's calling more and i'm mostly ignoring. I use to like it a lot more in my younger days but once you get older it kinda changes. Lately there have been more choices so i figure if she wants to play i have all the time to do the same.

[Asip4u]

To answer the OP's question. Most guys will still keep chasing so i'm sure he'll keep going after you. If you keep backing off way too much though he might just not care after awhile. So you'll have to bring his interest back again and start paying a bit more attentioin. Some people also play games because they're insecure so hopefully this isn't the case with you.

[SirWagginston]

It sounds like you have a social/emotional issue, LailaK. If that's really what you're attracted to, I suppose there's no changing that, but straightforward guys can be cool, too. I consider myself to be straightforward: although I'm not so overtly cheesy as saying things like, "Hey, will you be my girlfriend"--I know there has to be more finesse than that--I will still be absolutely honest about my schedule and how busy I am. If a girl doesn't dig that, I see that as too bad for them. The less complicated girl is going to have a smart, attractive boyfriend that will think about her every day.

[all alone]

I tried dating someone very straight forward. In the end I wasn't attracted to him because there was no challenge and I had to let him go.

a little hypocritical no?.. heres a word of advice, most guys/girls who play hard to get arn't worth your time, because they will get bored and move to the next interest soon enough.

People who are looking for a real relationship typically don't play this game...

Given this statement and your original one saying you are afraid of scaring guys away by coming off too strong, I would conclude you are a pretty confused and misguided women. You need to step back and re evaluate what you are looking for and why.

[VincenzoG91]

Playing hard to get is probably perfectly reasonable behavior for teenagers. If LailaK is 30-something, I would consider her behavior ludicrous. If she is more like 16, it's no big deal.

[1337lizard]

Question for the fellas...

I'm really into this guy and I don't want to eff it up by being eager.

I understand that guys enjoy a challenge so while I've been friendly and flirty I've also been hard to reach, super busy and at times preoccupied.

My question to you is, how much is too much? At which point in the game do you bail?

Thanks,
L

You should NEVER and I repeat NEVER play hard to get. You should be unavailable for the sole reason that your life is fulfilling and busy. Playing hard to get is starting off a relationship playing mind games and that's a pretty bad way to start things off. Reciprocate his interest and stop with the games. Otherwise I'd say you have no right to complain when he moves on because you didn't seem interested.

[SirWagginston]

How busy are you, anyways? Is it actually difficult for you to make plans with a guy?

[Lite]

So, basically what you're telling us is that you feel inferior to men you date, so you attempt to drag them through some minefield of games in attempt to make them feel like they have some false sense of accomplishment in landing you when actually you're not worth their time? Got it.

Either a woman likes me and wants to be around me, or she doesn't. If I want games I'll buy a deck of cards.

If men are losing interest in you that easily it's either because you actually have nothing to offer, or you're just really dating the wrong men repeatedly.

[1337lizard]

If I want games I'll buy a deck of cards.

LOL! And this is the only reply that was ever needed for this discussion as it sums up the mind of man in one simple sentence. very nice.

[cmacattack1]

I don't think the question is how hard should you play, I think the question is what do you want and what does he want. If you want a relationship and he doesn't, there isn't really much you can do or say. I'm not saying you have to pour you feelings out here, and you don't have to rush into anything right off the bat. Take it slow, get a feel for him.

Coming from my experience, when a girl wanted me and I told her I didn't want anything right off the bat, I changed my mind later on but I still wasn't ready. If he doesn't want one then, I don't think you have much hope of changing his mind. Isn't that something women really want to do? To change men? It's not realistic.

[Cbrider]

Your interests seem to lead you to some pretty stupid guys imo.

Games either mean insecurity or immaturity - neither interest me.

[qwertz]

Ughhhh, game playing pisses me off. I have no time for it.

[phys251]

Playing hard-to-get is, frankly, one of the most immature dating strategies out there. If you don't want to go too fast, then by god just say so. But a person who is willing to play games early on is willing to play games later, and there is no room for that in a healthy relationship.

[Anonyms]

Quote from my Tecnolgy teacher If a girl doesnt make sure to a guy in 100% that they can be together, They will never be forever, but if u make to him sure in 101% that u will be together, than he will think ure just a ...., u know what i mean. So if u get just the right percantage ure OK!

[elizabeth412]

A friend of mine used to call me "Miss Parker Brothers" because I would play so many games, and the main one was "Hard to Get". Quite honestly, I was conditioned somehow early on to think that you should never let a guy know you're interested. Well, never say never. It just doesn't work. You don't have to wear your heart on your sleeve, but it is O.K. to give them some clues and let them know you would consider them as options, if that's what you feel. I ended up pushing so many guys away that it truly hurt me in the long run. It goes without saying that I didn't date much. Shame on me. As I have gotten older, I have tried to play fewer games, but the temptation and early conditioning gets in the way still, but not nearly as much - and guess what? I am getting approached more now with this changing mentality. I hope this helps.